Wednesday 4/18

[Beaches]

Good morning,

Where are the "official" thread starters? Where's Ilex?

Busy at work with getting some wandering staff back in line. Ya know the ones that just kind of go home mid day without letting anyone know. Also preparing for my son's transition and have gotten a lot of great resources from people and ideas on how to help him go into kindergarten calmy. Now we just have to see if we can put the plans in action.

Have a great day!!

[dilayne]

Wednesday 4/18

Mornin' Muffins and Beaches!
Today will be my 3rd day AF..I feel like I'm coming back to life! Yay!
Work is a little crazy. It's time to design the annual report and it's the first one that will be printed since I've been working there so it's kind of a big deal...stuff comes up between my boss and me when we get into a serious creative project. We disagree with what is good and appropriate and I have to watch my ego...so watching my ego and trying to stay in a playful creative space can be a challenge, but one I welcome, albeit a little stressful. The problem is that my boss is basically my client..she interfaces between our clients and me, and it usually boils down to her taste, or perspective, which is usually very safe and restricted..and design wise, to me, homogenous..so I get frustrated..I want to say, "HEY, DON'T BE AFRAID TO MAKE A STATEMENT" but I usually have to just put what I think works aside and give her what she wants. MKR can probably relate...what I'm trying to say is that my work is always a great place to see my ego in action, and the lessons always come down to 'letting go' of the need to control things, to be right, the need to be accepted or validated...it's a great place to show me that part of myself and I am trying to do the letting go part...but DAMN!! It's not always fun!

Thanks for letting me ramble on..getting it off my chest will help me go into the office this morning and just play which is the only thing I need to focus on because real creativity can only come through play..so that is my goal today. PLAY, PLAY, PLAY...(and if anybody tries to get in my sandbox, I will just have to nicely ask them to find their own..at least today).

XOXOX
Di

[fsophiah]

Wednesday 4/18

I haven't been here in over a week. My son's Korean girlfriend is here, and it is taking all my time to entertain her, drive her around, make her comfortable. My other son has been recording and on the road, so I have also been doing massive babysitting. You wouldn't know I have a job, even if it's only for a few more weeks. I'm strung out. I'm feeling used. I don't have time for myself, and, of course, the thing that is being sacrificed is my commitment to my health and the support I get here. It's complicated, but I do need to share. I feel like a tugboat pulling an ocean liner. I need to complain, but to complain to my family means laying on another level of stress in an already stressful situation. So good-morning. Thanks for being there.

[betty boop]

Wednesday 4/18

Morning all ..... Ilex where are you ....

Beaches, all the best with kindergarden ......

Di, Ramble away as much as you like .....

Sophia, Take a deep breath, and find some time for 'you' ......

I'm stuck in the office for at least 12 hours everyday for the next week at least as my parents are away so I have to hold the fort, but hey ho, it means that I check in here as often as I like ....

Much love & many hugs to all my dear friends here :h

Paula xx

[Allie]

Wednesday 4/18

Morning everyone...

Sophia -- wish I could be there to lend you a hand! I've had that tugboat feeling many times this past year with feeling like the only real person to care for my Mom through her cancer, keeping up with three kids in 3 different schools, hubby gone most of the time and selling my business. thankfully things are better now, but I do hope you can at least just let them know you need a little time to yourself somewhere in there.

I will probably be sporadic popping in as we have a crazy next three weeks. I have company coming in every weekend for the next month! All my friends from North Carolina and Ohio coming down to enjoy the sun and beach, so I am really looking forward to it, but I always try to be the perfect host and put a lot of pressure on myself in the process! Our friends coming tomorrow for four days have four little girls all under the age of seven! They are all very sweet and amazingly well behaved, but still.... I am so out of the toddler/ baby loop and am trying to baby-proof my house, buy swimmies and life preservers for the pool, cook up casseroles to pull out in the freezer, get my hair done... I need a chill pill! Then as soon as they leave I have a three day break before my brother and his wife come in from Atlanta with their FIVE kids! Thankfully most of theirs are older and my own kids ages, which makes it much more fun for mine and easier.

I started counseling three weeks ago, and OMG has it been intense. My counselor asked me, "You know you drink for a reason, right?" I said, "Yes.... because I like it!" She laughed, but then said, "No.... it is a symptom of something much deeper, and that is what we are going to deal with, not the drinking for now." So we are digging deeeeeeeep.... did I say deep? I almost got up and ran out of the room yesterday because of the pain of facing and dealing with stuff. Its amazing how much pain I have buried. yikes. So anyway, I came home completely and emotionally spent, and normally those are times I want more than ever to drink. But amazingly... I hardly had any desire at all. I kept forgetting to because I was so "wowed" at what I had learned about myself and the wine just was not an issue. She told me that as I get healed from my wounds, that the drinking will begin to resolve on its own, and then we can deal with it and it will not be near the hurdle that it would be if we tried to deal with it without the underlying issues being addressed. She said it could take six months or longer, but told me that every patient she had ever had who was willing to stick it out, was able to get free from their addictions long term in the end. So I am really hopeful, although its not fun right now.

Well... just wanted to give a little update. Sounds like most of you are doing so well, and I miss being on here as much, but life calls I guess.

Love to all,
Allie

[dilayne]

Wednesday 4/18

Wow Allie, good for you! I've been seeing my 'counselor' for a year and a half. When I first went in, I asked him how long would it take..he said until the water jugs are empty..he asked me how full mine were. I had no idea..when he tapped into them, I realized that they were huge..and whenever I reach a point where I think they are empty again, I realize soon after that they probably will never be completely empty. I was very surprised as I have always thought that I was pretty in touch with me emotions. I'm always humbled to find out that I only wanted to think I was. We don't focus on the behavior either..I started going because I knew I was in a major transitional phase in my life..being an empty nester, my relationship with my daughter and the drinking...It's been a journey that I'll never forget, and it's not over. It's also brought me closer to who I really am outside being 'the' mother, daughter, wife, etc. (ad naseum...), and that feels pretty good.

Sophia, hang in there. I would only suggest that you look at all the things that you are doing and ask yourself what you really want to do for others (and why), what you need to do, and what you don't have to do. You may find that there are some things you can drop off the list so that you don't feel so torn, and that everyone will be just fine. As long as you do for other's and neglect yourself, it's really not much of a true gift to those you are giving to. It's so hard for women to make that distinction, I think..I think many of us get our sense of identity from what we do for others...there is a fine line there, because of course we want to help others, and we should, but we have to balance the checkbook so that we don't end up going bankrupt. Sorry if I'm sounding motherly...old habit! ((hugs))

[southernbelle47]

Wednesday 4/18

Morning Glories!

Much work being done here and it sounds like you are all really working "smart".

Beaches, Di, Fran, Betty and Allie.
I am so proud to be a woman today as I read your post and realized how much we care and are willing to do for our families, even if it means some pain for us!
I do agree with Di......it is a balancing act!

Love you ALL.
Nancy

[southernbelle47]

Wednesday 4/18

Somehow I knew you would be, Mike.
I'm proud you are a man willing to hang out here!

)
Nancy

[lushy]

Wednesday 4/18

Morning!

Allie, sounds like you found yourself a good therapist. I had a real "dig deep" one last year and it was amazing some of the things I did not know I had buried that were still bothering me. I would come home completely spent from those sessions. For me I still find it hard to move on from these hurtful things which is something that needs to be worked on more I guess. I hope you get a good end result. Enjoy all of your guests. Sounds like a lot of fun.

Sophiah, wish I had some advice but I do not because I learned years ago to say no to people and things when I knew in the end they would make me resentful. I could only blame myself once I had agreed to do something I really did not want to do. I am good at giving "how to be a bitch" tips if you need them!

Betty, I saw you beat my score on Tetris earlier this week. I may have to challenge you to a tournament if you have so much time to check in here. I will not be defeated!!!

Di, glad you are back to getting some AF days in. You sound happier.

Beaches, you sound like you are getting things figured out for your son. Does he start school in the fall? You are ultra organized!!! And I was wondering where Ilex was as well.

Jenneh, had a dream about you last night. I came over to your house for dinner (nice house btw) and you gave me a belated Christmas gift of the ugliest boots I had ever seen. What does all of that mean?

Fan, hope you are doing okay. We like having women appreciators around here.

Nancy, always nice to see you pop into mods land.

PP, Hawk, MKR, Waves, Imagine (sorry you will always be Imagine to me) and whoever else I am forgetting check in!! It is getting quiet around here again......have a good day everyone!

[InnerStrength]

Wednesday 4/18

Lushy LOL I dont know what that means but its funny! Question: did you pretend to like the boots that I gave you?

[lushy]

Wednesday 4/18

Thankfully my alarm went off right as I opened the box and was trying to find a way to be nice and act like I enjoyed them. They were really something......

[InnerStrength]

Wednesday 4/18

Can you describe them? LOL they might help me 'decipher' the dream.
OK not really but I am really curious LOL

[Preciouspinot]

Wednesday 4/18

Hey everyone! It's been real busy for me this week but, what else is new? That's really great for you Allie in regards to your therapy. Sounds like you're really getting somewhere!

I'm going to attempt to post a picture of Flutter.....

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[Beaches]

Wednesday 4/18

PP, Flutter is adorable!! Better clothes than I have.

I also went through some counseling years ago and realized I was a doormat and that helped change my life. I am no longer the doormat. I don't find it hard to say no to people anymore because I have to find a balance in my life. I agree that if we are unhappy doing so much for everyone else to make them happy then that's not such a great deal.

Lushy-you already have a high score? I give up. I need my kids to teach me how to play these games better.

Belle, I am proud to be a woman too

Fan it is nice having a man around and a woman supporter too.

Allie that is a lot of company. Stay sane

Betty it will be nice seeing you around more even though you have to work a lot.

Hello to the rest of you to come as well!

Found out today at work that I am a "target". Nice huh. Apparently another division doesn't like the way I don't take what they want me to do seriously enough. So next Friday there will be a meeting and the director will be attending to make sure I know what my staff should be doing. Ha, bring it on. I'm not changing anything because the way we are doing things are just fine...by the way my director gave me the heads up and also agrees with the way we are doing things. Don't try to bully me or I'll come out fighting. Grrr

[gypsi]

Wednesday 4/18

Mornin' all -

Sounds like everyone is gearing up for summer. It's always so hard for me to slow down in the summer; I have a tendancy to go, go, go, until I'm exhausted and wishing for winter again. I think we all need to try to remember to take time out for ourselves and get a pedicure!!

I got some really good news this morning. My daughter (we are not close) was a victime of sexual abuse by her father when she was a kid. She did not receive the type of counseling that she needed to become a victimless woman, so of course the first abusive butthead that comes along in her life ends up being the love of her life. They had a kid together, and I just found out that she's finally done with him. She left him and is with her brother in a safe place. Hopefully, she'll stay done with him. He's busy trying to convince her to move up here. Let's pray that she doesn't go back to him; that she keeps on moving on.