Monday, April 23

[lucky 2.0]

Monday, April 23

Dear Allie,

I am sooo very sorry. Please let us know how the appt goes today. You, and many others, will be in my thoughts and prayers.

xoxo

[Preciouspinot]

Monday, April 23

Allie, I'm so sorry to see you suffering like this. I agree with everyone that you should let your therapist know. Please go easy on yourself and we'll all be here to support you.

[SKendall]

Monday, April 23

Allie, I'm so sorry for your pain. As the others have said tell your therapist, and keep us posted. Big hugs your way.:h

[Popeye]

Monday, April 23

Hello Allie,
Look after yourself.

[sammys]

Monday, April 23

Hey Allie, I just got home, how are you doing? Did you go for your appt? Thinking about you.

I am here for you,
Sammys

[hablur]

Monday, April 23

Allie,

Spill it all to your concilor. Thats what they are there for and they often have some real bright ideas. I soooooo much understand how you feel and I pray you can turn it around and feel better. Please let us know how it goes. Best wishes!

[Hawk]

Monday, April 23

Hang in there Allie. I'm thinking of you. Do whatever you need to do to get back to you. You are worth it and deserve the best.

[MKR]

Monday, April 23

Awwwwww, Allie, I am sorry for the pain. MM, has probably got it right, moving a bit too quickly for where you are at. A lifetime of pain and problems is a lot to uncover, pull out of the recesses of your mind, digest let alone expect yourself to recover from it when you have a constant barrage of outside commitments and triggers. Where is "Allie" time in all of that?

Speaking from an old lady's standpoint, you have to take care of you first or the rest just falls apart. You are strong and can do this!!!

Bella, awesome news!

Waves, wahooooooo! cool stuff on that house. I speak for all of us, we have really missed you!! You will get there.

Hawk, why sad?

Sophia, you can do this. Lots of family commitments on your time too.

MM, I hope you feel better, you have run yourself ragged!

Janie, welcome to mods!

Dilayne - hope your annual report is almost finished!

Judie, are you back?

Lushy, need a vacation? I hear you. taking off Saturday and Sunday for the last three weeks to have dinner parties, I am behind at work and absolutely worn out!! Taking off Saturdays is like a mini vacation for me.

PP, glad the party went well. You stayed the course . . good for you!!! What is it about hosting an event? I have been tested more in the past month than any time in my recent memory. It stems from those habits of drinking before I had a big old party and then waiting for people to leave so I could go finish off a bottle.

Beaches, is your son's program officially set? You are such a great mom! May I just say those boards on your avatar, looks soooooooooo inviting!!

BB, Sammys, Laura, Soccermom Mary, Hillary, Paula ( I am a capricorn too, so is Rachele!) Fan. Thinking of you all.

Is it time for mods to go back to our once a month goal writing and posting? Just a thought.

Hugs to all above and those to come today,
Mary

PS: My dad turned 79 yesterday, he is the survivor of over 14 cancers starting 24 years ago, 3 blood clots, and numerous blockages due to so many surgeries and scar tissue. I am telling you this because, he is amazing to watch in action. He truly walks the talk of, "Let GO and Let GOD." Something I am sorely lacking in comparison!

[Allie]

Monday, April 23

Hey everyone,
Thanks for all the encouragement. I was terrified to go to counseling today because I always learn so much about myself and get so much insight that it is painful to deal with honestly. But I told her today what my predicament was emotionally and that I just didnt feel strong enough to deal with anything additional or deeper, and that I needed help just coping right now with everything we have delved into. Of course I started crying right off the bat, so it was pretty obvious. I had a huge lump in my throat the entire time. She was very compassionate and had some good ideas for getting through this, but also emphasized the "need" to press on in spite of the pain, and my feeling like I want to just run away or bury myself in the bottle is my natural tendency to avoid pain, and she really encouraged me to journal what I was feeling instead and acknowledge that it is okay to hurt right now. I've got a lot of personal issues I'm dealing with both in myself and in my marriage. She explained to me why I was feeling so depressed, and assured me that I had good reason to be because of what has happened in the past. But like Dilayne said, she also reminded me that although there were no shortcuts through this mountain I'm facing, she assured me that when I come out on the other side I will feel better than I have possibly in my life. She compared it to removing a cancerous tumor from your body.... it requires surgery and stitches and often a lot of pain before the healing can begin. But that the body is much better off in the end, although it took a painful surgery to attain the healing. You get the picture. Not that it was a huge revelation to me, but encouraging nonetheless. I'm just feeling incredibly lonely as a result of certain issues going on, and its just a really hard thing for me to cope with. So that's it.... sorry to spill my guts.This time has been worse, but at least I'm in counseling now and this will be the last spin of this stupid cycle! I'm terrible about bottling stuff up and thinking I'm doing great and then about every three or four months it all comes to the surface. Other than the counselor, I cant talk to anyone about this stuff because it involves those close to me. So you guys get to get pooooo'd on instead! Sorry.

Love you guys..
Allie

[pixie]

Monday, April 23

Hi everyone

Allie - glad to hear you're feeling a little better - take care of yourself.

MKR - your dad sounds like one tough old man - I bet he has some great stories to tell.

I like the idea of posting goals, though I just want to make a short-term one for now - I plan to be AF till at least Friday.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

pixie

[sammys]

Monday, April 23

Good your home safe and sound. You did good today!!


XXXX
Hi, everyone!!
Sammys

[paula]

Monday, April 23

Allie,

[paula]

Monday, April 23

Allie so glad your feeling better, your counsellor sounds great.
Don't forget a problem shared is a problem halved.So keep
sharing.
Lovexx
( I'm a typical capricorn Mary,are you?)

[tea]

Monday, April 23

Rooting for you Allie, keep letting us know how you are getting on.

L