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**lifechange** · November 5, 2013, 03:49 PM

My Taper Caper

Hi Sobersoul! I just want to support your decision. You know yourself better than anyone else and it seems like a feasible, long-term plan. The cruise you want to drink on is fairly early on, so if you're finding you can't stick to your plan, you can re-evaluate whether or not it's really possible for you. Does that make sense? I would just ask that you continue to be honest with yourself-- and if you are having problems or things aren't as you anticipated, promise to get help.-- I know you know this already..:h

**Byrdlady** · November 5, 2013, 05:59 PM

My Taper Caper

Sober,
I went back and grabbed your first post under your new name....it was 7/10/2013:

" Just saying Hello!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Decided to post here and to introduce myself briefly. Right now, I am reading as much as I can and have come to the conclusion that I cannot control my alcohol intake. In order for me to live the rest of my life happily, my drinking has to stop. I have cut down a lot in the past year or so but still every now and then, get hammered with no previous intention; it just happens.

I have only had success stopping for one month and that was in the Spring. I am ready to give up the pleasure/pain of alcohol forever and I need encouragement and help. I hope I can give back as much as I get but I feel like I am reborn today with this final decision.

I look forward to getting to know you all."

__________________
I also remember you as Tipplerette. One of the things that has to happen before we can ever recover is to find the TRUTH about our problem. You've been at this a while...I remember when you first came in....then I remember you on the mods boards, and then I remember you trying to quit again. Unless and until we realize that we cannot drink AT ALL, we are going to stay in the miserable cycle. It's a hard truth to swallow and I resisted it a LONG time...but I never was able to fix it until I stopped bullshitting myself and stopped drinking completely . This is a beast you must starve....you cannot feed it at all and think you're going to control it. You can't moderate addiction. You have tried, I have tried, we have ALL TRIED! I found that the more rules I made about AL, the more I broke them....I know you've found the same thing. Why not try something new? Stop the cycle completely and don't look back. It's the ONLY WAY to break free...by the time your cruise comes around, you'll have 3 good months in! You don't have to drink to have a good time, trust me, just the opposite is true!

If you are like me, I imagine you felt a sense of relief after you came up with this schedule, right? You know why? That's because the addiction sees a way to stay alive...it sees that you are allowing it to live...IT SEES A FIX, so it's happy. That is the addiction talking. I promise you, break loose of this noose instead of trying a taper caper....just my 2 cents. If I'd ever seen something like this work I'd tell you to go for it...but I haven't...and I've LOOKED!

Best of luck to you! Byrdie

**K9Lover** · November 5, 2013, 07:50 PM

My Taper Caper

I remember you as Tipplerette too :l
You've gone round and round with this. Like Byrdie says, the only way to kill the Beast is to starve it...and I mean do not even give it a crumb!! Cut if off...say "no more" and mean it!! Your addicted brain is pleased as punch right now with that schedule...no need to panic yet, right? This schedule looks excruciating to me. Come on Tipps (Sobersoul), do you really want to STILL be consumed by this NEXT October? It can be over and done with looooong before that.

Love,
K9 :h

**SoberSoul** · November 5, 2013, 09:05 PM

My Taper Caper

Byrdlady and k9. I have to respect your advice for a number of reasons, your success and mostly for your relentless support that you've both shown, not only me but everyone here. I will re-read your comments, give it some thought and decide what to do.

I honestly begin my quits with truly sincere intentions. Booze blindsides me and after days, weeks or whatever abstinence I've achieved, I find myself with drink in hand. I am grasping at straws here.

Thanks

**Byrdlady** · November 5, 2013, 09:11 PM

My Taper Caper

I know what you mean, SS. I've been on both sides of it now...and I can tell you that life without AL is 1000 times better than trying to live with it. Let it go. Just let it go. It is THE best gift you will give yourself. Byrdie

**K9Lover** · November 5, 2013, 10:40 PM

My Taper Caper

I know what you mean too SS. Don't give booze a chance to blindside you...it can only do that if you let it in. It's so much easier to not drink than to schedule out the next year of allotted drinks, then try to stick to the schedule. The key word you just used is "quit".... Not taper or mod. Isn't your goal to be AF? Don't drag it out, why torture yourself like that? :l

**Samstone** · November 5, 2013, 10:58 PM

My Taper Caper

Hope you all don't mind if I weigh in here:
SS,
should you QUIT, do not, I repeat, do not worry about the drink thing, adopt he attitude that I don't drink. Because you don't drink, you don't have to fight anything, because you don't drink. That way ,you're not waiting to see if you will drink. You have NOT GIVEN UP ANYTHING, you have GAINED YOUR FREEDOM.
And it is the same as any drinker or non-drinker, not every day is going to be roses. The non-drinkers can face stuff without a drink and work through it with a clear mind.

sorry to butt in there.
Sam

**RingingCedars** · November 6, 2013, 11:53 AM

My Taper Caper

Sober aka "Tipperless" it is hard to have our own words and reality plunked down in front of us especially if we are not ready to face it let alone genuinely deal with it. All I can say to you as you analyze what you truly need/want to do, do not run away. It is your journey and trial and error as the Abbers have experienced for themselves is likely to be a large part of it. I am not encouraging you to drink but I am encouraging you to keep it real and stay close. You did after all post this in a moderation forum and that should also be respected. Documenting your journey will give you insights. I read back on some of my more brutally honest posts. We can't get to where we're going if we don't know/remember where we been? Stay close girl. :l

**SoberSoul** · November 6, 2013, 04:30 PM

My Taper Caper

The trickery is that right now it's easy to be abstinent. Eventually, who knows what will happen. I will do the taper if all else fails. So far so good. Sick of the whole situation.

**RingingCedars** · November 6, 2013, 04:58 PM

My Taper Caper

SoberSoul;1581761 wrote: The trickery is that right now it's easy to be abstinent.

Roger that Canuck.:goodjob:

**Byrdlady** · November 6, 2013, 05:06 PM

My Taper Caper

SoberSoul;1581761 wrote: The trickery is that right now it's easy to be abstinent. Eventually, who knows what will happen. I will do the taper if all else fails. So far so good. Sick of the whole situation.

I believe something so strongly that I put it in my signature line...All you gotta do is get thru this day. You are right, tomorrow isn't promised to anyone, but today I know I will be AF. It is a choice I make each day. One day at a time.

Nothing will ever change if nothing ever changes. Change is different, but it's not so hard. Don't think too far down the road, it's overwhelming. Just take it in small bites....you will be amazed at how it adds up! If today is easy, then that's GREAT! Rinse and repeat! Byrdie

**acadiaofmaine** · November 6, 2013, 05:25 PM

My Taper Caper

Byrdie,

I appreciated your posts greatly. I, too, have felt a weekly sense of relief, usually Sunday night, when I make the Plan to taper during the week, to 0 drinks by Friday. By Monday morning I am at the wine store. I can't even make it through the morning! The more rules I create, the more I need to break them. Back and forth, back and forth. The number of BAD Monday mornings I have had finally got to me, even I couldn't ignore the craziness of my behavior. So today is Day 9!

SS, I am not applying this to you, just saying that what Byrdie said really resonated with me and put into words what I have been feeling for about a year. although there is some chatter going on in my head, it is a relief to stop planning (to drink or not to drink, how much, when, how to taper, how to stop, and then the ever present screw it!)

SS, whatever you do, stay close to the boards and don't forget the Daisies!

Ann

**RingingCedars** · November 6, 2013, 05:47 PM

My Taper Caper

ok folks..wrong forum but good thoughts..peace

**Byrdlady** · November 6, 2013, 06:55 PM

My Taper Caper

acadiaofmaine;1581785 wrote: Byrdie,

I appreciated your posts greatly. I, too, have felt a weekly sense of relief, usually Sunday night, when I make the Plan to taper during the week, to 0 drinks by Friday. By Monday morning I am at the wine store. I can't even make it through the morning! The more rules I create, the more I need to break them. Back and forth, back and forth. The number of BAD Monday mornings I have had finally got to me, even I couldn't ignore the craziness of my behavior. So today is Day 9!

SS, I am not applying this to you, just saying that what Byrdie said really resonated with me and put into words what I have been feeling for about a year. although there is some chatter going on in my head, it is a relief to stop planning (to drink or not to drink, how much, when, how to taper, how to stop, and then the ever present screw it!)

SS, whatever you do, stay close to the boards and don't forget the Daisies!

Ann

Thank you so much for the kind words, Ann! I fought it for a long time too, convinced that I'd be the exception. I'm so happy for your 9 days! Great job! You will never regret one day of being sober. There is no drink that can match the renewed self respect!
Byrdie.

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