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    #16
    My Taper Caper

    Byrdie,

    I guess it's about making the switch from feeling relief that the door to AL is still cracked, and the feelings you have to deal with when contemplating shutting it for a good long time, like forever. And I guess it's not about thinking about forever, but just one day at a time. I don't quite know what pushed me over the edge to just stop 9 days ago, on a Tuesday. Who quits on a Tuesday? But I just could not face myself if I saw myself trying to believe that Tuesday would be 6 drinks, and Wednesday would be 5, and Thursday would be 4, and then, oh screw it, I knew that Friday would end up at 12!

    Thanks for the congrats. I needed to hear that!

    Ann

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      #17
      My Taper Caper

      How are you doing, SoberSoul? I didn't mean to ramble about my own unsuccessful attempts at tapering. I always looked at tapering as a way to minimize withdrawal, but it just didn't work for me, I couldn't stop myself from putting the number of drinks back up to "normal." It was partly feeling the withdrawal symptoms, and partly not being able to visualize a life without AL.

      What are you thinking at this point? How can we help you and support you as you try to figure this out?

      Ann

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        #18
        My Taper Caper

        You both are right of course. Not drinking. Not saying I won't ever but right now I am not. I am invited to my friend's place for a hot tub and will bring her six corona beers and myself four non-alcohol Becks beer (which taste delightful if you like beer). No desire or temptation to drink.

        I am having some family issues right now and this usually drives me to drink but for some reason it's not. Not sure what that means... one thing I know is my guard must stay up.

        Have a good day and a serene weekend everyone.
        "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
        Lao-Tzu

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          #19
          My Taper Caper

          Dear Sober Soul, I'm afraid I didn't know your whole history before posting my first comment! I was thinking you needed support for your decision, which I guess if someone was considering moderation or tapering early on, I would support. But I can see from the posts of others and your replies that you really DON'T want to drink any more and have been working on it for a while. I have a couple plus months under my belt, which isn't a whole lot of time, but it is enough to have completely changed my mind and attitude to what a "fun" vacation would look like. At this point, there's honestly no way I would choose to drink on a cruise, even if I were leaving tomorrow.
          So I would also encourage you to work your hardest now to get those AF days under your belt-- then you'll be in a much better state of mind to make decisions regarding the cruise.
          Whatever you decide to do, I hope you don't disappear, because you will always have support here. I guess that is what I initially wanted to say. You already know that! :h

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            #20
            My Taper Caper

            My dear SS. I'm not weighing in to give you my opinion or any advice - just my support. We have talked enough over the past few months for me to have a good idea of what type of life you envision for yourself. You are already one of the most zen people here. One reason I always enjoy your posts so much. So hang on to your vision because it suits you. Are you spending any time in your "shack" lately? I know that brings you peace and clarity. Anyway, just want you to know that I'm always here for you.

            xx, MR
            Everything is going to be amazing

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              #21
              My Taper Caper

              Life change your support is appreciated. Unconditional support is what you are talking about and it is appreciated. I am doing well after not drinking for five nights. Getting a lot done and if I start the drinking going, I lose all that. Feels good, especially in the mornings.

              Moss Rose. I HAVE been at the little shack. I actually spend time there often and have cozied it up with valences, lamps, etc. my little cottage is my refuge and the river wild life is awe inspiring. I feel so blessed to have this affordable, private sanctuary.

              If we can get sober for an extended time, we can be all that we are meant to be. Why wouldn't we?
              "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
              Lao-Tzu

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