Taking stock of my life with and without alcohol

[cuckoosnest83]

My life prior to alcohol
Passionate about my work
Avid reader of almost everything
Lover of nature-mountains, ocean, animals, sunsets, sunrises
Good friend
Empathetic
Sociable
Involved in local and global affairs
Initiated conversations with almost anyone I met
Good neighbor
House and yard well maintained
Hiker, backpacker, camper
Dependable
Great aunt to my many nieces and nephews
Volunteer at a couple of organizations
Enjoyed planting my own garden and preparing foods using my home grown produce

My life with alcohol
Isolated
Apathetic to local and global affairs
Sitting in my garage smoking cigarettes and drinking
Estranged from family
Dread going into work because of the mask I must wear
The most mundane tasks overwhelm me
Can't remember the last book I read

I need to decide which of these 2 lives I want because I know I can't have them both.

[abcowboy]

cn83, you just wrote out Narilly's signature line "you can have the life you want, or you can drink" put that way, there doesn't seem to be a hard decision at all....

[NoSugar]

Hi, CN - I bet most of us could write a similar list - you had the guts to do it and face the truth.

You're going to be spending the rest of your life with one of those women. If you were choosing a friend or partner, the choice would be so clear. But why should it be any different when it is ourselves? We all should be our own best friends! If you choose the first woman, the rest of your life will be so much more fun and rewarding, healthier, and probably longer. The second woman is just passing the time until it runs out.

I would love to be friends with the real you! You sound fun and interesting. I bet your siblings and nieces and nephews miss the "before alcohol" you and would be so glad to have you back.

The amazing thing is, you have the power right now to reclaim yourself. Decide you will never drink again and then do whatever it takes to support that decision. There are so many people here who have done just that. I hope you join us. :hug:

[fluff]

Hi Cuckoo- I just read this- When did you start to drink? I prefer the first list!

[cuckoosnest83]

Thank you ab, ns, and fluff for your responses. I know what I need to do but actually doing it is difficult. Fluff, I have been drinking since I was a young age but it was always on weekends or special occasions. It is only in the past 10 years that it has become a huge problem. I've maintained my position in a large company for 40 years so I have always been able to function until recently. I'm still very good at my job but as I said in my post it gets harder and harder to go into work. NS, if I had the choice I certainly would pick the first woman as my friend and you are right about being our own best friend. AB, I definitely want the old me back it is just a matter of retraining my thought process to constantly be on the alert for the alcohol chatter. I have a lot of reading material and all of the MWO cds. I will be going shopping tomorrow to load up on healthy food and drink. I reread my post this morning and was so sadden by what I read but also made the commitment that this will stop. Have plans tomorrow to take my dog to the groomers and do the grocery shopping I mentioned and also get out for a walk as it is suppose to be a beautiful day. I miss being outside. Alcohol robbed me of my 2014 autumn I will not let it rob me of my 2015 spring. Thank you all again.

[NoSugar]

Hey, CN

There are several "returnees" in the Newbies Nest. I'd really encourage you to post there, as well. The power of a group working towards a common goal can be pretty amazing!

Shopping sounds like a good plan. Do you also have all alcohol out of your house? If not, please dump it, ok?

Enjoy your AF weekend!

[cuckoosnest83]

NS, I have no alcohol in my house and I will start posting in the newbies nest. Checked it out on Wednesday and it seems it is a thread where you post how many days you have sober. I am struggling tonight but determined to make it through as I have plans for tomorrow. I keep reading my post from last night and know what I want. I do not want to be the woman in the garage alone smoking cigarettes and drinking gin and tonics. I took my dog for a walk this afternoon and will take him again tomorrow after his grooming.

[Byrdlady]

CC,
There is a newbie's nest roll call and a newbie's nest. Please see the link in my signature line below. We do a lot of talking over there and we have folks in their first days, so come join us! Byrdie

[cuckoosnest83]

Good morning, all. I'm up, showered, and ready to take my dog to the groomer. Didn't sleep well last night but that is to be expected. I know I have to deal with that for the next few days. Have Alteril to help and will pick up some sleepy time herb tea at the store today. Thank you all for your support. SF and byrd, look forward to seeing you in the nest and thanks for clarifying the difference between the newbie nest and roll call, byrd.

[Byrdlady]

So glad to hear this Cookoo! The nest is a perfect place for birds of a feather like us! Day 1 is THE hardest and you have that behind you! Now rinse and repeat! Hugs, Byrdie

[fluff]

How ya doin' Cookoo?

[fluff]

Trying this again.