I just want to say thank you too. I have found this thread to be very illuminating. I am eight months into my journey, which has been predominantly alcohol free. I started on medication with a doctor and counsellor specialising in addiction through an outpatient clinic here in Australia and spent the first 3 1/2 months not drinking at all. I then decided to have a "calculated break" - by that I meant to try having a couple of drinks to re-examine my relationship with alcohol. I planned for it to last four days - it ended up being a couple of weeks but did not ramp up to previous levels. Before I did that I posted about it here - and got a lot of feedback saying it was a bad idea, protect my quit, etc. I understand the feedback was coming from a good place, and that they were trying to help me. I just don't regret the decision. I learned a LOT about myself not drinking, but that period also helped me see how it could creep back up really easily, and I stopped again, with no medication. I have since successfully abstained. I know where the advice was coming from, and like you, I completely respect that some people just need to quit and never drink again. I just think that while for a good number it can send people down the path of destruction again, for some of us it can be a helpful thing to explore what our feelings are about alcohol.
In a way, it forces you to stare it in the eyes in a way you don't do by totally abstaining. I get pragmatically that abstaining really helps a lot of people, and really, if you don't drink it is not like there is a problem with that - it is a nasty, toxic, substance that does very little for our health. I just think if you are capable of insight and reflection, and are not a highly physically addictive drinker (in the way that you lose control as soon as you have a sip) then it can have some self-educative purpose. I do think that the period of abstinence before doing so is crucial though. A month is good but for me it took a while for me to feel safe to try it. It wasn't even my intention to try it at the beginning. I don't even really want to moderate - I just don't want to go back there again! Being truly open to whatever the outcome is is also crucial I think. You can't moderate because you just want to - otherwise we wouldn't have got ourselves here in the first place. I think you have to understand your own relationship to alcohol to work out what works for you.
I know I am saying what you already have worked out - I just wanted to thank you for your thread. It is clarifying things for me - I really appreciate your words, and the thoughtful responses from other posters. Thank you, all!
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