My excuse (this time)

[n2itiv]

We all have used an excuse to drink at one time or another. Mine's probably pretty good, but it doesn't make my drinking OK.

I was an executive at a Fortune 100 when my department got laid off. Two weeks later my husband left me for another woman on the day my mom died. I had a strained relationship with my job, hubby and parents ... so this was an odd blessing and curse. I have only felt loved by my 92 year old maternal grandmother. No parent should have to bury a child - let alone her only child, my mom.

For the past few years I have been living off and drinking my inheritance away. There is only a small amount left; maybe a month or two. Today I found out my best friend's son, who is my age, died of cancer. I am reliving my grandmother's pain through my friend's grief.

My girlfriend knows EVERYTHING good and bad about me; yet it was still her fondest dream for me to date and marry her son. We liked each other but decided to form a different kind of partnership - he brought me onboard to work with him.

This is a 100% commission position. I need to make this work for both dying wish and my survival. It is time for me to STOP making excuses and taking responsibility for my life. Please pray for me and help support me through these most difficult days.

S-hit Happens if I drink, so
T-ake a deep breathe &
O-ptimistically Think to
P-rosperously Live

Thanks

[magic]

My excuse (this time)

Welcome Home

You have my prayers, for all of you, yourself, your girlfriend and her son.

I have a brief, but strongly worded, bit of advice...........get thee to your family doctor and have a heart to heart discussion about what is going on in your life.

Yes, we all have our reasons to pick up the bottle, good and bad. To celebrate and to grieve.

Self-medicating depression is a common one. You have had so many loses in such a short period of time, it must have been so difficult for you. Do you have children? Siblings?

I wish you strength, courage and many glorious mornings.

You will find much support here.

magic xx:schmokin:

[n2itiv]

My excuse (this time)

Magic,

Thanks for your sweet words.

To answer your simple questions first - no kids, two wonderful dogs, and two brothers who are too close to the situation to provide constructive support.

As far as a doctor goes; I am in a complicated situation since I pay directly for my medical insurance. If anything 'alcohol or depression wise' hits my medical records, my rates will increase so much I won't be able to pay for the insurance anymore. I am lucky to have a therapist that keeps the specifics off the books. She has even agreed to allow me to call her every day at 4pm for a brief 10 minutes of free support.

Realizing I needed more support to successfully quit drinking, I started googling and found this site today. I have previously quit drinking for 5 years with the assistance of AA, eatting the basic food triangle and excercising. AA always made me feel like a screw-up but good food and excercise definately played a large role in my success. Thus I am enthusiastic about MWO's approach to a healthy lifestyle.

If anyone has any suggestions on how I can get the recommended prescriptions WITHOUT it showing up on my medical records; I am all ears.

Sign me, Thankfully sober today

[magic]

My excuse (this time)

It sounds like you have a wonderful and supportive therapist. Terrific!

I am Canadian so I can't, unfortunately, help you with the insurance.

and will refrain from saying any more about that!

Regarding AA, I know it is not for everyone(!) and would only suggest a small womans group for support, not the AA stuff.

Congratulations on a day of sobriety! Just put one foot in front of the other, you've done it before, you can do it again! You're already on your way.

There IS strength in numbers.

magic xx :schmokin:

[tipsynomore]

My excuse (this time)

:welcome: Hi and welcome!! There are many places you can order the meds online without a prescription so it won't show up on your records. Look at the forum about Topamax and the other meds and you'll find several references to websites. Good luck and keep in touch
:l

[betty boop]

My excuse (this time)

Hi and :welcome:

There are a lot of online pharmacies that you can get topamax from, I haven't used it but as tipsy said there are posts here about it.

All the best in your journey, we are all here for you ....

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[Guest]

My excuse (this time)

Hi n2itiv and a warm welcome.

Am sorry you have had so much sadness in your life, but glad that you`ve realized that alcohol doesn`t `fix` anything.

Like yourself, I have been sober for a lengthy spell in the past - 10 yrs, only to end up drinking again. I have been successfully moderating this past month, mostly due to all the fab. support I have received here............being here has caused me to start getting a grip of my life again.

I wish you much luck,

Starlight Impress

[Saint Jude]

My excuse (this time)

:welcome: N2, You've really been thru a lot. I'm so sorry for all of your losses. You will find a lot of support here. Glad you found us.:l

I've heard of people getting Topa prescribed for a migraine med . I believe they call it "off label" or something.

[southernbelle47]

My excuse (this time)

:welcome: N2it!

I don't do the drugs but be careful about ordering offshore. May not be the real thing.
Most of the other stuff, you can get on this site and I highly recomend the cd's.....Clearing number 2 is my favorite and the sleep learning...My hubby snores and it is helpful.
Drink the water and take the supps. Like Judie said , the topa can be for headaches, but some people have a hard time taking it.
Start clearing out your body with the natural and see how it goes from there.
I hope the job works out... Staying busy is a +!
:h Nancy

[n2itiv]

My excuse (this time)

Thank U Thank U Thank U, Every 1

Just reading your messages and other forums here is distrating me from the bottle(s). Sadly I was so distrated I took off for a meeting this morning that's not scheduled until NEXT Saturday.

It's day 2 AF and I just ordered the book, CDs and extreme vitamin pak. The book will here on Tuesday and everything else next Saturday. I'm not feeling any withdrawals, just anxiety (over money) and a rush of deep sadness (over the death of my dear friend).

I am actually quite enthusiastic over the MWO program as it seems to dovetail nicely with most of my beliefs. I am an avid follower of Louise Hay's works - 'Heal Your Body' through positive affirmations, proper diet and excercise. Last time I quit drinking using these philosphies, I lost 80 pounds and kept it off until I started drinking again. So this all gives me hope on the new 'sexy' me.

Now the practical-earn-a-living me is another story. I don't have a plan in place for that yet. BUT each day with continued abstinance, my brain will become clearer and my body more filled with energy to get out there and do SOMETHING. I just hope I can figure this out before I loose everything. I have champagne tastes, champagne bills and a Mad-Dog 20-20 bum's budget.

xox's to everyone

[SKendall]

My excuse (this time)

N2, my goodness you've been thru an awful lot of crises. I am so glad you are with us, because so many of us are success stories. Please order the cd's, take the supplements and read the book. You will enjoy this site because we all support each other and no one is a stranger.

You have done much in the past, and you will continue your greatness. :welcome: :l

[imatree]

My excuse (this time)

Hi N2 - I just ran across your story here as I've just finished a big work project and have a bit of breathing room so letting myself poke around on the forum...

I'm sorry about your losses. Now the post you wrote about lost dreams has more context for me.
I have Louise Hayes book Heal Your Life. Have you heard of the program Women for Sobriety? It is specifically designed for women and focuses on positive affirmations. I ran across it about a year ago when I began seriously accepting that I needed to address my alcohol addiction.
Also - something that I wonder might resonate with you - do you know of EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique? It is a way to unleash the actual physical energies of emotions that are blocked up in us.

hugs to you,
sue

[n2itiv]

My excuse (this time)

Ima - This was my very first post and I was in my poor pitiful me stage. After over 2 weeks AF, I'm in a MUCH better place

LUV all books by Louise Hay! ANd will have to check out EFT :thanks:

[magic]

My excuse (this time)

Over two weeks AF !!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations!!!!!!

magic xxx :schmokin:

[2Drunk42Long]

My excuse (this time)

Long Time...

I have been gone from this site for about a year or more--- I miss it. I met nice friends, and now I am back to meet even better friends.....
God Dang, it sucks being an alcoholic...as a woman too!
Ughh......