My NEW Story Starts Here...

[Doggygirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

NoSugar - I appreciate your thoughts and reminder about the fat. Just like when I used to be in the AL, when I'm in the sugar my diet totally goes to shit and fat is an important component of getting it back on track. I don't always think about that.

I'm one of those that don't really think I got benefit from L-Glut. I took it when I came off AL along with all the other supps and certainly didn't feel a negative affect, I don't think. But subsequently when I've tried it with sugar I feel like cravings increase??? Idiosyncratic response, I guess. At any rate, no sugar yesterday and that was in large part to stating my commitment here.

Doubter!!! Good to see you!! How's it going?

Today will be another one free of booze, nic and sugar. And shopping and other compulsive stuff. Except compulsive figure skating fan girling. I'll be doing that. More practice watching today and then competition starts tomorrow.

I'm reading an interesting book called "The Heart of Addiction" by Lance Dodes. He talks a lot about the addictive behavior (drinking, gambling, drug taking, eating, whatever) being a response to feeling trapped - a response when direct action aboout the situation sees impossible. This is really resonating with me. My first addictive type behavior was secret eating, and then starving myself (annorexic) in my younger years. I've been trying to be really aware of any situation where I feel trapped. There are many little things like that. Most seem small but the feelings are there just the same. i.e. yesterday the shuttles went to the arena in the morning, but the first shuttles back to the hotel weren't until 9PM. So "trapped" at the arena all day physically. That brings on some internal stress for me. I had sugar thoughts for sure. That is when the thoughts start - at the first feeling of helplessness. More later on this, I'm sure.

Have a sober day one and all!

DG

[Doggygirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Interesting observation today. I stopped at the grocery store after work. I noticed a wine display - probably because it was in a odd place in the store. It was an endcap display between the bread and cookie/cracker aisles - far away from the liquor department. I stood there quietly and just looked at it. I had no mental or emotional reaction to it at all. It might as well have been a pile of cardboard. No desire to drink. No resentment towards alcohol. No stinkin' thinkin'. Nothing. AHHHHH. What a wonderful place to be in my relationship with alcohol!! A totally non-relationship!

There are things I DO need to get off my %&^$ and seriously work on.

I need to start journaling about a couple of important topics.

1) My need to seriously kick my *#^%*# sugar/carb addiction to the curb

and

2) Finally getting down to the emotional issues I have buried all these years relating to my mother. I really want to let it go once and for all but am struggling with it.

Maybe I'll start journaling about my efforts to stop the sugarcarby nonsense first.

My sugarcarby thing is multi-faceted I think. I believe at a physical level, the sugarcarbies are activating the reward mechanisms in my brain and that keeps the physical addiction alive. Emotionally, I believe this addiction is a form of self-sabotage. While I have enjoyed success in my life in a number of different ways, I can also look back and see a lot of self-sabotage. I need to get to the root of that. I think I will find my mother buried under that pile of &$%^.

So there you have it. My first journal entry on phase next of my journey.

DG

[NoSugar]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Hi, DG

The way you approach life - both the good and the bad bits - really motivates me to try and do the same! Thank you for letting us in.

:h NS

[Doggygirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

NoSugar;1491329 wrote: Hi, DG

The way you approach life - both the good and the bad bits - really motivates me to try and do the same! Thank you for letting us in.

:h NS

I work much better in a group than I do alone with this stuff! :groupluv: Thanks for being here! :h

DG

[Marshy]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

DG, my old mucker! I haven't been on MWO for ages (life getting in the way!) but just popped in for a look today and spotted your post. I like your story about the wine display. I was leaving work the other night and there were two waiters outside handing out free glasses of champagne. I don't know why - I think a new bar has opened nearby. Anyway, I said "No thanks" without even thinking about it. They both looked surprised and one of them said to me "You don't want a free glass of champagne?" And I said "I don't drink." So good to not even think twice. Ahhhhh!

Have you thought about having therapy about your mother? I think most women have complicated relationships with their mothers. After my mum died I had some counselling (I initially thought of it as "bereavement" counselling but it went a lot deeper than dealing with grief). I found it helpful in thinking about how our relationship was and how it continues (because it doesn't stop!).

All the best to you!

[greeneyes]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

"My old mucker" hahahaha! Me too! I can't remember when I was last here. I should be here after the easter candy binge I had. Good for you DG for digging in to the mother issues. You might take a peek at what Colin Tipping has to offer in that arena. You can find him and his work on-line.

[Marshy]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Greenie! Me old mucker! How the devil are you? Me and GF SHARED one Easter egg. How restrained is that? :H

[greeneyes]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

SHARED?? No way! I'm an all or nothing. I contributed substantially to Reese's profit margin last month. I'm doing fine, puttering along smoothly. Working, keeping up the homestead, etc. I recently resurected my bicycle and I'm still in the painful stages of riding, legs and lungs screaming protests at the slightest of hills. And you?

[Doggygirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

OMG!!!! OLD HOME WEEK!!!! :yougo: :hinkele::band2::flyingunders:

[Lavande]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Is this a private party or can anyone jump in? :H :H
Great to see my old friends here today!

I have to say I did much, much less damage to myself this year with the jelly beans. Last year was pitiful

Hope my mentors all stay well!!!

Lav

[Doggygirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Lav!!! :yougo::yougo: I'm so glad you dropped in for a post. I haven't had a lot of time to spend here lately - just a post here and a post there. I *see* you around and still so very involved in such a positive way helping everyone - especially all the newcomers. YOU GO GIRL!!

Good for you on your progress with those jelly beans. Hopefully I will follow your lead this year!

So far so good. But my "witching hour" for sugarcarbies tends to be late afternoon just like it used to be with booze, before my "witching hour" became 7AM. :H

DG

[Marshy]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Greenie - I'm very good! Most things going well. I haven't been on my bike for sooo long. I blame the weather! Maybe after this wet and cold spring morphs into something like summer I'll get back to it. And I've just been so busy with other stuff too - buying a new house and sorting that out, doing a carpentry course, working to pay for the house! Glad to hear you're doing well.

DG - Sorry about your dad. I found one thing I felt when my mum died was that I was angry at my dad for not being my mum. If you've felt anything like that with your mom you'll know what I mean. And then there's the whole shifting of relationships within the family. It's a lot to deal with and I found it helps to talk to someone whose not involved with the whole thing.
I find I eat junk when I'm at work but don't when I'm not at work. I can't figure out why I do that at work particularly - stress? boredom? Although I actually like my job!

Me and GF are planning to get married next year. Lav, Greenie, DG, you're all invited. I'd love to see any or all of you there. Think about it! PM me if you want more info.

I will pop back in a few days and hopefully see you all again.

[greeneyes]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Yo Lav!! It is good to see you dispensing shoulders, feet against arses, hand holding, and the like in your show of support to others. I think you should have your own thread! We'll have to think on a name for it. I've been gone so long I forgot to use smilies in my posts. I'll have to make up for it. Five to go...

Marshy a new house and a wedding!!! YAY!! :yougo: I'm so excited for you!! Deffinately keep me in mind for that. I'll PM you some info. I'm sort of jealous about the carpentry course. I have a love/hate thing about doing projects myself. Last time I did a gutter project I had to go buy tight red jeans to soothe the emotional reaction to the chore. :H (Two to go) Are you buying a "new" new house?

I'll do the junk behavior too, if it's available. But I don't have it in the house. The junk that is, or the behavior would certainly follow. I think there's an insidious level of stress I have that drives that behavior though.

LAv are you still going to curves daily? I'm hoping the doggies and chickens and little grandkids are fine. I'm scared to ask about YB. :H

We sure hijacked this thread! :crowned:

[Doggygirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Greenie - you did not hijack anything! I'm so happy to see you and enjoy all of us catching up together! So...um...who were the tight red jeans for???? :h

MARSHY & XNGF GETTING MARRIED!!!!!! :h:yougo: I would love to see about coming!! Will PM about that!! Wow I am SO HAPPY for you!!!!

Day 2 SF. Going OK. I got a lot done today on my volunteer coordinating work for the upcoming event. HERO HELPS | A Community's Public Health Response to the Growing Number of Drug Overdose Deaths Less than a week to go!! I will be glad when it's over, even though I enjoy doing it.

Greenie - sometimes I think I must always have a low level of stress going on too. I get busy and all I think I want to do is have some time to relax. Then when projects are done and I HAVE time to relax, I'm jumping out of my skin. That just tells me I have many tons of inner work left to do.

I wasn't emotionally ready for that work in early sobriety. I wonder if I'm ready now. :P

I'm going to hang up my sneakers early today. Take a hot shower and just lounge around. For a change.

Hope all who have a particular goal for self-improvement today are smooth sailing!

DG

[Marshy]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

DG & Greenie,
Have sent you some info. It would be great if you could come!

Greenie, no, it's an old new house. Built about 1805-1810, I think. And the previous owners hadn't done much to it over the last 20 years so it needs new flooring, new kitchen and bathroom, decorating, plus some work on the roof etc. Plus, it's outside of London so we're not there full time yet until we can shift our work down there - so a lot on our plates at the moment. We're getting there slowly but everything takes more time and money than we thought - of course! I have fantasies of being able to do anything involving wood myself but so far I've just about learnt how to make a box so I think the kitchen-fitting will have to wait :H