My NEW Story Starts Here...

[sparrow]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

hi doggygirl,

I can really relate to your story. I was right behind you on the slide down it isn,t easy but your story gives me the motivation to keep going. I realize now that drinking will in no way imporve my life' it's a trap that I need to get out of. 21 days AF for me.
You go girl!!
good luck and keep posting. please

Sparrow

[puddytat]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Holy Crap!!!! Look at you, DoggyGirl! Cindi, thanks for bumping. Truly inspiring... what a difference a summer makes -- and a person with commitment. I've printed this out, and have it in my daily planner.

[Doggygirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Thanks to each of you for your nice comments. It is SO WORTH giving up AL for good, and focusing on LIVING. I encourage each of you to pursue an AF life - it's worth it.

I used to have an itty bitty part of my soul that missed drinking. That wished (and secretly hoped) I could someday drink moderately. I have finally reached a point where I say "why???" What on earth is so wonderful about AL that I would risk the life I have now getting sucked back into that dark hole. So long as I don't take the first drink, I have the choice every day NOT TO DRINK and ENJOY MY LIFE. That's what I choose.

If I can do this, so can you.

Strength and hope,

DG

[42cat]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Doggie, you are truly an inspiration!

[FloydtheSheltie]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Doggygirl, Your story is very inspiring. I am so glad I found this site. I can't wait to read the pdf.

Floyd

[Doggygirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

My Parallel Journies - Sobriety and Fitness

This is bound to be long so make sure you have a snack and a big glass of water if you are brave enough to read on!

Curves was an AWESOME place for me to start my fitness journey just like MWO was a great place to start my sober journey.

My journey to sobriety started with enthusiasm, but the challenges presented themselves quickly. I followed the MWO program to a tee (with the exception that I did not end up using prescription meds) and by hook or by crook managed that 60 days. I had to try that "one drink" thing which led to great difficulty getting back in the AF groove - about 8 months.

My journey to fitness also started with enthusiasm at Curves. But I was extremely out of shape as you have seen, so it was difficult - just like those early AF days are difficult. And I was drinking again so it wasn't long before skipping a day led to skipping a week and then skipping months. Hmm... Just like with my drinking. I stepped off the fitness track which led to a LONG time to getting back on the track again.

So on May 22 2008 I got back on both the fitness AND the sober tracks. On the same day. My previous (however brief) periods of AFness and exercise taught me that I can't have "just one" and that I can't randomly take days off from exercise if I expect to make any forward progress.

The early days of fitness and sobriety were just as grueling this time around as they were the first time around. I truly decided that I was NOT willing to go through the pains of "startup" any more on either journey. During my 8 months off the sober wagon, I experienced the pain of a few AF days here and there over and over and over. I was sick of going through that pain, only to drink again and start over again and go through pain again.

The first few months of the parallel journies involved good days and bad. Some pains. Some gains. Well, and some losses too - weight loss and loss of desire to drink. Accepting that I CANNOT ever drink safely was huge for me. AF days got a bit easier just by dumping the fantasies that somehow something would magically change and I could drink normally. I accept that cannot happen. I also accepted during this time that some days I will really be enthusiastic about workouts and other days I won't be. But if I want to have my health back and [vanity alert] a fit bod, I have to work at it every day whether I feel like it or not.

Then came a really good groove! I understood what needed to be done each day to stay sober and to continue working on fitness. I just did it. My routine didn't vary (and that can be a problem - sometimes life throws us curve balls!) I did develop a bit of confidence in my short term ability to stay on track.

Shortly before my 9 month sober anni, I realized that I had a nagging fear (an irrational fear) of relapse that just didn't seem right. I really don't know where that confidence went. Or maybe it was "ignorance is bliss" and I realized the ignorance part. What was I going to do if some curve balls came my way? Anyway, I felt that I needed to take my sobriety to a whole new level. That is when I attended my first AA meeting. This was after years and years and years of saying "AA is NOT FOR ME!!" and being critical of that program while not knowing any of the true facts about it. Everything I thought I knew about AA was distorted through my AL colored glasses. For me right now, AA has definitely been an enhancement to my sobriety and my feeling of confidence that I CAN do this for the long haul if I remain vigilent one day at a time. I no longer have that crazy and irrational level fear of relapse.

Shortly after this, I reached a point on my fitness path where I felt something was lacking. I felt like I needed more. I took a leave of absence of sorts from my Curves membership to check out a "real" gym. The sort of place that would have been impossibly intimidating to me just one short year ago. That was a huge step forward in my Fitness journey. I am taking all of the good things I developed at Curves and taking it to a new level under the guidance of a Personal Torturer(tm). Last week I worked out in the "big boy" free weight section for the first time. On May 22 2008, I wouldn't have believed you at all if you told me that would happen.

There was a time when I was just as hopeless about sobriety. I didn't believe I could do it.

The moral of this story for me is that I don't think I could be sober without a fitness program to support it (endorphins ROCK!). Equally, I don't think I could achieve this current level of fitness nor my future goals if I didn't have sobriety to support it. (Can't imagine doing this stuff with the daily hangovers I somehow barely functioned with!)

These two things are very closely tied for me. Don't get me wrong - lots of people get sober without exercise. Lots of people get fit without going 100% AF. But for me, I believe I have to have both in order to have either.

This week my Dad is having a very serious surgery on Wednesday. I am having a far more minor surgery on Thursday. In the old days this would have been cause for High Drama and Mega Drinking. I am dumbfounded that today, I am just enjoying my life today including my steps along the Fitness path and my steps along the Sober path. I am at peace. I am annoyingly happy to be sober. This doesn't happen overnight - at least it didn't for me. It has taken a lot of honesty and hard work and soul searching and committment. And faith. Willingness to take certain actions in life and in the gym while trusting that the outcome will be OK even though I can't see it ahead of time and there are no guarantees of anything.

I am so grateful to be here. I will keep comin' back.

DG

[robyn19]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

wow, you have been amazing, what a triumph, you have given me hope, thank you, and god bless you.

[Doggygirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Robyn, you hang onto that hope! I'm just an average Joe like everyone else, and if I can, you can!

Strength and hope,

DG

[prancy]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Great story. I am so glad that you found the keys to the kingdom, so to speak. Very inspiring.

[akgirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Wonderful post and a great story....hmmmm, I better hit the gym. You are an inspiration, kudos to you!!!

:l from Alaska

[DeeBee]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

As always, I find your posts so uplifting and inspirational.
Today is Thursday, surgery day -- sending loads of good vibes to help through a speedy recovery.

[lucylou]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Hi i'm desperate to stop

Hi i'm new to all this. I'm 43 and a single mum. I've recently been done for drinking under the influence and lost a job and nearly my home. I haven't lost my kids yet, but they hate me drinking. I now realise it's both a physical and psychological addiction. It helps ease the pain that drinking has caused me all my life, from others and now i'm doing it myself. And i hate myself for it. My daughter records in her diary the days i drink in the evening. This makes me feel worse. I have to stop.

I"m studying and guess what when the pressure starts so does the drinking, I hate myself for it... i'm very low atm. It can only get better i've got to stop.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Hi Lucylou and a big welcome to you. I have only just seen your post. May I suggest you post again in the 'just starting out ' section or better still start a thread in there yourself, that way a lot more poeple will see it and reply to you. Well done on taking the first step.
Keep safe
KTAB

[Doggygirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

lucylou;688420 wrote: Hi i'm new to all this. I'm 43 and a single mum. I've recently been done for drinking under the influence and lost a job and nearly my home. I haven't lost my kids yet, but they hate me drinking. I now realise it's both a physical and psychological addiction. It helps ease the pain that drinking has caused me all my life, from others and now i'm doing it myself. And i hate myself for it. My daughter records in her diary the days i drink in the evening. This makes me feel worse. I have to stop.

I"m studying and guess what when the pressure starts so does the drinking, I hate myself for it... i'm very low atm. It can only get better i've got to stop.

Hi Lucylou and welcome to MWO. I can really relate to the losses and near losses you have experiences with AL - me too. Some of us just can't drink and I'm one of them too.

There is hope. Many, many people in this community have found their way out of the alcohol madness. You can too. It's not easy, but it's so worth it.

Strength to you,

DG

[Doggygirl]

My NEW Story Starts Here...

Wow I haven't updated my story in a long time! On November 22 I celebrated 1.5 years sober. What a special milestone! I should write more - maybe later. But for now I will just say I'm glad to have both MWO and AA for support in this journey. Both programs provide different yet complimentary things that are helping me achieve CONTENTED sobriety. That's what I was lacking last winter.

If I can stop the madness, so can you. Strength and hope to all fellow travelers, regardless of where you are on the path.

DG