Don't know what to do

[debruce]

Hi, I am new to this. My problem is that I like to have a drink after work, but don't know when to stop. I don't consider myself an alcoholic as I don't have to drink during the day, only when I get home from work. My other problem is that when I drink , at a certain point I don't remember another thing. I think this is bad. My husband is extremely unhappy with me. I decided not to have a drink this week, but already am on to number 5 wines tonight.
What do you all think? Please help me as I do need advice.
Thanks

[cassy]

Don't know what to do

Hi Debruce

Alcoholics are not just people who drink during the day (thats my opinion).when you have difficulty stopping then there is a REAL problem with alcohol dependency but we dont find it easy to face.

maybe you could try tonight to change the drinking after work routine by replacing that time doing something else???garden, cook, go and exercise , walk, read whatever brings you pleasure and peace.

Maybe do something together with hubby.

dont panic ..just try tonight.

you will get lots of hints from others on this site in relationto what works to change habits...i,m no expert as i too still struggle to moderate my behaviour with booze.

Many people on here have managed to abstain other have their personal moderation goals.

i just know when the boozing becomes unmanageable in our lives its time to reach out for help and support.i didnt consider myself an alcoholic either at first as like you i never drank during the day time and only in the evenings or sometimes on a friday night only (when i drank tjhe entire bottle of plonk) and sometimes more!!

The issue about not remembering is often known as "an alcoholic blackout"...many of us on here have experienced that countless times too.Many a film i cant remember the end to!!!!!!!!Those memory lapses i find painfully embarassing as i know now they are directly related to my alcohol abuse.

The weddings i have been to when i cant remeber how i got home!!!

The conversations with hubby that i cant recall the plans we made!!!

the fact that your hubby is "extremely unhappy" about your daily drinking is perhaps a good sign to help you to slow down or quit whichever you choose???????


sincerely hope you feel welcome and supported on this site.i wish you good luck.

regards Cassy

[diamond]

Don't know what to do

Hi,

:welcome:


Diamond x

[Doggygirl]

Don't know what to do

Hi Debruce and welcome. I'm not crazy about the "alcoholic" label and all the stigma our society has attached to it. For me, my drinking was a problem in my life and my marriage - so it didn't really matter whether the label fit or not. I needed to find a way to solve the problems that my drinking created.

I encourage you to download the My Way Out book and see what you think. This program has definitely helped me turn my life in a new and better direction. Now it's up to me to keep plugging away at positive change.

Today is day 21 alcohol free for me, and I didn't have 2 days in a row alcohol free for many, many years. I do not take the prescription med(s) recommended, but I do take all the recommended supplements, I have started exercising, and I listen to the hypnosis CD's. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be, with the help of this program, to get the BoozeBeast off my back. I will always have to be vigilent, but I know I can do it now.

Best wishes!! We are all here to support your efforts.

DG
Day 21 AF

[satori]

Don't know what to do

Hi Debruce - and a big :welcome: from me too.

There are lots of people on here who have a problem with alcohol - but didn't need to drink during the day - me for one!

I just made up for it in the evening!

Like you - highly functional, didn't drink until evening, never ever drove under the influence, never got so drunk around my kids that they would notice - but then would continue to drink late into the night when they all (wife included) had gone to bed - alcohol was running the show! - I planned evenings / weekends around when and where I would get alcohol. I smuggled drink into the houde in my gym bag etc. I hid the amounts I was drinking from my family and friends (boy did I get creative with hiding places for empties!) and so on.

The fact that you are here means you probably think you need some help - well - you came to the right place.
You will get more help and support here than you can handle

I've been here about 6 months - and with the help of the amazing people here, have pretty successfully moderated my drinking down to "normal" levels (4 or 5 drinks a week - instead of just as an appetiser for the rest of an evening's drinking!) over the last few months and have almost completed my 13th straight day without any alcohol at all!
Considering my history - that is nothing short of miraculous!

Stick with us - download the book, read all you can about the programme.
Take what you think will help and then start with little steps.

We look forward to having you around.


Take care

Satori
xxx

[planetjanet]

Don't know what to do

Hi Debruce,

Welcome! Take the good advice of Cassy, DG, Satori and the replies from everyone else a sign that you have found a great group people for support in whatever you choose, myself included. My story is pretty much the same, I had an issue with drinking and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. The longest I ever abstained from alcohol was 90 days, but I had a emotional break-up and started drinking again. I never was able to get no more than two to three weeks and every time I drank, I drank ALOT :upset: My life was spiraling down, I was lying, I was hiding, I was becoming a public sloppy drunk, started to upset my friends and family and the worst is I started to hate myself, until I finally realized that if I didn't do anything to moderate my drinking, I would DIE! So, I found this website and ordered the supplements, still drinking, all the while conning myself into thinking that once I received the supplements I would stop, yeah right. It only took yet ANOTHER incident (read my thread dated 7/23) that I had enough and decided to take this bull by the horns and stop or else. Since then, I have made it a routine to become active in this program and it's the best thing I have ever done. The people here are amazing and wow the support that I have received has inspired me into wanting to achieve my goal of one day being able to moderate my drinking, but for now I must abstain from alcohol, even if takes longer than 30 days.

I keep myself busy with extensive physical activity and now I am physically healthy to train for my next running event which will be a 1/2 marathon on August 17 and this is all in one week of being AF, can you imagine what I will accomplish being 30 AF. Imagine how things will be for you I hope this helps you in some way.

I wish you the best of luck and please keep us posted of your progress.

Big hugs,
Janet :h
AF Day 7

[Hannah]

Don't know what to do

Welcome, debruce

You have come to a great place. There are lots of people here whose stories and habits are, or were, very much like yours. You will find a lot of support here from people who have been there, and know it's not easy. Continue to read and post often, look forward to seeing you around the boards.:welcome:

[InnerStrength]

Don't know what to do

Do you like baths? Sometimes I come home, and have a nice hot bath right away - even if its only 6:00 or something - it relaxes me. I also love to read and EATING DINNER IS SO IMPORTANT - Even if you think "God I want a drink", eat dinner first and see how you feel. It makes all the difference. Do some gardening or tidying (doesnt sound much fun but you feel a nice rush of accomplishment after). And remember - one day, one moment at a time. Who knows about tomorrow? Who cares? All we have is today. We can do this.
Jen

[debruce]

Don't know what to do

Thank for all the replies and advice. I must share something with you. Last night I didn't have a drink and went to bed early to read my book. As I was laying there this feeling came over me and I thought "I feel happy". What a nice thought. Instead of going to bed feeling sloshed, knowing I am going to feel lousy the next day and beating myself up about it, I FELT HAPPY. I am going to hang on to that feeling.
Have a good day one and all.