Hi there! I am new here and finally got the courage to write. I have been reading posts here for the last few days and must say that I am very enlightened so far.
I would like to share my story??.
I am 40 years old and happily married and a mother of 2 wonderful boys. I have been drinking since I was a teenager?..but who didn?t drink back then! My mom started to drink alot when I was around 10. Her mom and dad had the illness as well. She left my dad when I was 16 because he was ?too boring? so she could party??.and party she did. I moved in with her (I?m an only child) cause she said it would be more fun with her than with my father. I did and certainly did have fun; she could care less as to what I did as she was too busy in her party world. At the time I thought it to be able to do what I wanted but today I have much resentment that she did take better care of me. I got tied of this scene and moved back with my boring father, who by the way today is a great man! She continued on with her lifestyle of smoking and boozing and died at the young age of 52.
I am writing this because I don?t want this to be my story. I too have realize that her illness has been passed on to me and I hate it. I have disappointed myself far too often now and embarrassed myself more times than I can remember.
When I was 21 I met and then married my husband 3 years later then our children followed shortly after. We lead a normal life in every way but the only thing is that alcohol has always been a part of our relationship. We drank and had fun when we met and continued to drink at home after work to unwind. We still do to this day. I sometimes think it?s a 3 way relationship ? me, hubby and the drink. We don?t talk about it often cause he thinks all is ok. When I have brought it up he says all is good cause we don?t fight, we have good jobs, great kids, a winter and a summer home etc. All this is true and we are happy and love each other but I have this guilt all the time. I guess we are what you would call functioning alcoholics. I am at the point though where I am sick of it. It?s not the same fun anymore. I hate how I feel in the mornings sometimes and ask myself why I would continue such a habit. Cause we?re addicted I guess. I worry now that the kids are older (12 & 15) what kind of impact this has on them. We aren?t ever mean to them but they see us with a drink most times. The worst is on weekends at our cottage. We could be doing work around the place such as raking, mowing the lawn, painting, cleaning etc. but a drink is always nearby to sip?..makes the work more fun! And a boat ride without booze is unheard of.
Anyhow, by appearances you?d never know; people call us Ken and Barbie (even though) I?m brunette (lol) and we just look so normal but I don?t feel normal. I know that we are different from other couples. I?m tired of waking up in the morning on weekends and feeling like crap but pretending that everything is fine. I?ll sometimes sneak a drink before noon just to feel better. I?m tired of it. It never stops. But whwn noon comes we give ourselves permission to drink but this goes on all day until bed time. Sometimes with friends or neighbours and sometimes just us We don?t smoke, I don?t even drink coffee. We just like our beer, wine and coolers a little too much!
So, since I?ve found this web site and have read some great success stories I?ve decided to give it a try. I?ve ordered the book, bought the L-Glutamine and Kudzu and ready to give this a roll. I know I?ll be ok until the end of the workweek but once Friday is here and we arrive at the lake this will be very tough. We always open a beer when we get there! I don?t plan to share my plan with my husband. He?ll obviously see a change in me and maybe I?ll inspire him. If he doesn?t have me as his drinking buddy anymore though what will happen? Of if I succeed in quitting and he continues will I resent him? These are the questions I ask myself.
Thanks for listening and drop me a line if like. Oh by the way, today is day 2 for me AF!!
:thanks:
I would like to share my story??.
I am 40 years old and happily married and a mother of 2 wonderful boys. I have been drinking since I was a teenager?..but who didn?t drink back then! My mom started to drink alot when I was around 10. Her mom and dad had the illness as well. She left my dad when I was 16 because he was ?too boring? so she could party??.and party she did. I moved in with her (I?m an only child) cause she said it would be more fun with her than with my father. I did and certainly did have fun; she could care less as to what I did as she was too busy in her party world. At the time I thought it to be able to do what I wanted but today I have much resentment that she did take better care of me. I got tied of this scene and moved back with my boring father, who by the way today is a great man! She continued on with her lifestyle of smoking and boozing and died at the young age of 52.
I am writing this because I don?t want this to be my story. I too have realize that her illness has been passed on to me and I hate it. I have disappointed myself far too often now and embarrassed myself more times than I can remember.
When I was 21 I met and then married my husband 3 years later then our children followed shortly after. We lead a normal life in every way but the only thing is that alcohol has always been a part of our relationship. We drank and had fun when we met and continued to drink at home after work to unwind. We still do to this day. I sometimes think it?s a 3 way relationship ? me, hubby and the drink. We don?t talk about it often cause he thinks all is ok. When I have brought it up he says all is good cause we don?t fight, we have good jobs, great kids, a winter and a summer home etc. All this is true and we are happy and love each other but I have this guilt all the time. I guess we are what you would call functioning alcoholics. I am at the point though where I am sick of it. It?s not the same fun anymore. I hate how I feel in the mornings sometimes and ask myself why I would continue such a habit. Cause we?re addicted I guess. I worry now that the kids are older (12 & 15) what kind of impact this has on them. We aren?t ever mean to them but they see us with a drink most times. The worst is on weekends at our cottage. We could be doing work around the place such as raking, mowing the lawn, painting, cleaning etc. but a drink is always nearby to sip?..makes the work more fun! And a boat ride without booze is unheard of.
Anyhow, by appearances you?d never know; people call us Ken and Barbie (even though) I?m brunette (lol) and we just look so normal but I don?t feel normal. I know that we are different from other couples. I?m tired of waking up in the morning on weekends and feeling like crap but pretending that everything is fine. I?ll sometimes sneak a drink before noon just to feel better. I?m tired of it. It never stops. But whwn noon comes we give ourselves permission to drink but this goes on all day until bed time. Sometimes with friends or neighbours and sometimes just us We don?t smoke, I don?t even drink coffee. We just like our beer, wine and coolers a little too much!
So, since I?ve found this web site and have read some great success stories I?ve decided to give it a try. I?ve ordered the book, bought the L-Glutamine and Kudzu and ready to give this a roll. I know I?ll be ok until the end of the workweek but once Friday is here and we arrive at the lake this will be very tough. We always open a beer when we get there! I don?t plan to share my plan with my husband. He?ll obviously see a change in me and maybe I?ll inspire him. If he doesn?t have me as his drinking buddy anymore though what will happen? Of if I succeed in quitting and he continues will I resent him? These are the questions I ask myself.
Thanks for listening and drop me a line if like. Oh by the way, today is day 2 for me AF!!
:thanks:
c: :heart:
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