anyone willing to support a person who's a complete mess will be much appreciated! so, here it is - i'm laying it all on the line. i am 27 years old and have drank heavily since my early teens. i never believed that i had a problem because, "everyone was doing it." my friends said that i was "funny" when i was drinking. so, i must be flat out "hilarious" by now - because i continue to drink more and more. i know it's ironic, but i sell alcohol for a living (liquor/beer/wine). i've been in this line of work for 3.5 years and it provides an excellent living for me. let's see, personal stuff?
i'm married to my best friend who has stuck with me through some pretty awful stuff. he does believe that i have a drinking problem as well. my husband is also in my same line of work. this past week, i've done alot of soul-searching and have come to the realization that I do have a problem and need to search out some help. without professional help & guidance - i know i will fail. i have zero will power when it comes to drinking. i have also made arrangements to interview for a different department within my company to "get away" from the temptations of being around booze all day. i will interview monday for the job and think i will make the transition easily. i have also looked into AA-there are actually some meetings a few minutes from my house.
Maybe, some of you can help me out with this. Now, that i've admitted to myself & my husband that I am a problem-drinker i'm unsure of how to make the next step of actually walking in the door of an AA meeting with a room full of strangers and telling them i need help and being vulnerable with my really personal issues. also, because "alcoholism" isn't a one size fits all disease - not sure if i should seek the advice of my doctor and try a prescription like "antabuse" that will just make me really sick if i drink while using.... basically, i know i cannot just "cut down" - i have to quit. but, i need help or i will fail. any advice, support and/or friendship from anyone who "actually" knows what i'm going through would be very soothing right now.
peace
Red
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