Newbie here... telling how it is!

[monrose]

I have been lurking around for a while, decided to take the plunge and tell my story. I don't know how to charatise myself. I'm here because i feel that i have some kind of problem. I'm 50 have 3 great kids, a husband - we are successful with our lives. I'm fit, i love sport. Reading the threads, my life sounds like some many of the woman here. No one really knows the guilt and stress that i put myself through everytime i drink too much. My brain is tired and stressed from worrying about alcohol.
I don't drink everyday, used to go months with out drinking. Go out for months and drink only one or two and then all of a sudden one night i get so drunk, i can't remember the last part of the evening. Why do I do that.? I embrass myself,my husband (who stopped drinking 10 years ago) 4 weeks ago i got drunk at a party my children were there and i feel so ashamed that they saw me totally out of control. They have only seen me tipsy before. I usually manage to control it pretty much. I have noticed though over the last year, that I have started feeling like a drink to relax at the end of the day. Most nights i do ignore the feeling. But I have found that I'm getting drunk more than I used to. Before I only drank too much about 2 a year. This year it has been more. I have party friends who i would drink with, but it seems to me that I'm getting drunker at parties at normally i would never have dreamed of drinking too much. I'm tired of agonising over it. I do need help in learning how to control myself, Why have I lost that control?
Achohol is a problem with some members of my family. As alot of you, we grew up with our parents having a drink before dinner, mum tended to often drink heaps more if she could. To look at her you would never know that she has a problem. I don't want my kids to have those kind of memories and be embrassed or worried that when we go out together that their mom is going to get drunk.
I'm going into my 4th week without a drink. But I must admit i feel like a really good glass of red. Any advise would be really appreciated.
I ordered the book today and want to order the tapes. I don't know if i need all the cds. or just the social drinker one. :new:

[Cinders]

Newbie here... telling how it is!

Monrose,

As you can tell, alcoholism is a progressive disease and it is apt to continue to get worse and not better.

It sounds like you are joining at a good time, well before things are completely out of control.

The party incident was a good wakeup call for you. If you nip this in the bud now you will be well ahead of those of us who let it take over.

:welcome:

and keep posting as questions arise.

Cindi

[Guest]

Newbie here... telling how it is!

Hi monrose and welcome.

I hope you find what you`re looking for at M.W.O...........there are many members successfully moderating and also many abstaining.

Wishing you love and strength.

Starlight Impress x

[paraniod]

Newbie here... telling how it is!

Hi Monrose, welcome, I drink about the same way as you do. I can go on for a very long time without over doing. Suddenly though, it sneaks up and there you are waking up with a horrible headache and so embarrassed at what might have been said or done in front of people or even worse the kids. I too have 3 children and don't drink often in front of them, but 3 times this summer it has caught up to me and I have found myself waking up not knowing how the kids and I got to bed.
I have found that there are certain situations that trigger me. I try to avoid those situations but then look like the "party pooper". Everyone loves to give me a bad time about how drunk I got, because I am not the drinker of the group. My husband says it's because I never do anything wrong but I treat myself like I did. I feel that being that drunk in front of your kids is wrong.
I know we have a tendency to make things bigger and worse than they really were, so try not to beat yourself up (as I am trying not to also) and keep working on ways to get out of the sit. that triggers you. That is what I am trying to do.
Angela

[betty boop]

Newbie here... telling how it is!

Hi Monrose and :welcome: to MWO,

Well done, you have recognised your problem early, when you feel like a drink log on here instead. there is always someone here to chat to.

All the best, BB xx

[Hannah]

Newbie here... telling how it is!

Hi Monrose. I think, like Cindi, that the time is right for you to be here. It sounds like you at this point have only occasional episodes of losing control Now is the time to nip that in the bud, because it will get worse if you don't address your problem. Alcoholism does run in families, so you need to especially careful. You have taken that important first step, in recognizing that you have this problem, and logging on here is a good second step. We all will help, support, and guide you as you go on from here. Welcome, and look forward to having you around here. :welcome:

[monrose]

Newbie here... telling how it is!

Good Morning all,
Thanks so much for your replys. They are such a help. I have been reading bits and pieces every day. There are alot of wonderful people here. I sure some of you think that my problem is not toobig. Buts its big to me. AS i'm sure I have the protential to be an alocholic. Justing waiting until 5.00pm arrives for the reward for the day! I still haven't had a glass of anything its over 4 weeks now. I do feel like one when its the end of the week and I would have a glass or 2 to relax. I will get over that I'm sure! My plan at the moment is not to have a drink until I go on holidays. It will be over 2 months without drinking. My worrry is that I am travelling with some friends, some of them big party people. Love to have a drink and it does'nt worry them if they drink to much. I know I will probably be able to keep most of the time in moderation but there it always that one night.!!! Would it help if I ordered just the social drinking cd to play before I go out or do i have to order the whole set. My book should be here tomorrow which I am excited about reading.
Again, thanks so much for your kinds words of advice. monrose:thanks:

[monrose]

Newbie here... telling how it is!

Hi, just a quickie,
I've finished the book and decided that I'LL order the Cd's. I'm not
to sure on which ones to order.
Some of you have read my story, so maybe able to advise which ones.
I'm a mother. I eventually will go totally free from alcohol. I have been alcohol free for nearly 6 weeks now. It hasnt't been as easy as I thought. As someone said it is progressive, and my body is missing those couple of glasses of wine. I have an increased desire to eat anything sweet. I have had some really grumpy moments. My body is feeling that it is missing something, but it doesn't know what. I'm sure i do have an addictive nature of sorts. When I stopped smoking last year, I realise that's when I started to drink more. I am proud of myself though I have been out twice and ordered just water, normally I'd think of well 2 glasses won't hurt and then with time I'd be drinking a couple of times a week again. I am DETERMINED this time to kick my little habit in the butt. I'm going to take the vitamins as I can get all of those where i live. And use the cds as a backup. I need to learn that i don't have to get blind to step out side of my life. (When you are having a rough day, week etc - the remorse is not worth it) Its re- programming myself, I grew up with parents whose idea was there was no fun at a party when there no alcohol involved. I just have to find another way of dealing with it. Do I need the mother cds, or from the 2 types suggested the original or total abs.?As I said I go on holidays in 2 weeks and i have planned to sit by the pool and have a couple of glasses of champagne in the evening. - or maybe I won't ?
Any feed back would be appreciated.