The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

[ylfa]

Hello everybody. I am still fighting with my drinking problem. I told my story before here. I was sober all last winter allmost but this summer I have been drinking and doing stupid things and black out several times. I have done stupid thinks in front of my family and friends and said some things that really I dont find. I dont understand what kind of person I become when I am drunk. I am not 1 % like my personality normally.
Now I need some stories how you have overcomed shame and guilt and forgive your self something you have done.
Regards from the cold country in north,
Ylfa

[Beaches]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

Hi YLFA and welcome back.

I am not sure how to tell you about overcoming the guilt and shame because that is what helps me moderate my drinking. I think of all the things I have forgotten, only to be told later, and it's a constant reminder to be on top of this. I hate that feeling. I wish you every success and well being and please STAY WARM.

[Newyear]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

Most of my more embarassing things happend a few years back...I learned to drink more while alone more recently.
I really think the only thing that helps is time and forgiveness. You have to forgive yourself first. Even if you don't believe in your own forgiveness...keep saying it to yourself.
Then start by having one day sober. Try to enjoy all the things you like about being sober. At first it is more about not being hungover and not feeling crappy all the time.
Later, sometimes much later, it is more about a change in your lifestyle and actually feeling good about yourself.
That's kind of my take on things at the moment anyway...
Are you trying to go abs or moderate?

Lisa

[Accountable for Me]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

The only way I have been able to over come most of the guilt and shame/remorse of my actions was to quit. After time I have learned to forgive myself, hold myself accountable for the crappy things I have done and apologized to those I hurt (only the ones I care about that is). I am definitely still a work in progress and each day that goes by, the memories of it all diminish slightly.

One thing that I have learned is: if you focus on the negatives (things you have done in your past because of drinking) the more likely you will relapse. It is a tough road to overcome but you know, we all deserve another chance or two in this thing we call life.

You will feel bad for a while but in time you will feel better.

[propartychief]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

YLFA,
My worst embarssing moment has lot to do with why I am here.(By the grace of the higher power) !!!!!! And it is really not worth talking about because that is a part of my life that I am trying to move past (not trying to forget)!!!!! I really don't care to share and I think that is somthing to keep to ourselves as a personal motivation!!(no offence to you)
And that may be true for most of us !! Sharing the BAD I do not feel helps us only the good as we progress through this keeps all strong! We may share a bad day or week as we do this but dwelling on the past I feel does no good to any of us.

Strength to ALL

Bob

[janka]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

right on Bob ... I agree ... focusing on moving forward is sound advice

[Finding My Self]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

Ylfa, thanks for reminding me of something I was really worried about a little while ago....and realised I'm not now. For all the reasons already put....it doesn't help me to dwell on my past misdemeanors!!! Aaagh! < bottle..... So, I look forwards with huge gratitude for another chance and for being alive full stop.
So, I hope the guilt and shame begin to fade for you too and very soon at that....I have to say that the idea of writing down 5 things I am really happy about/grateful for this day in my little Gratitude book every night just before I turn the light out has helped more than I could ever have imagined - probably because I have Honours in catstrophising and re-running bad memories............... so I'm not going to start again now!!! (With respect to your thread that is...!
Good luck Ylfa....
Finding x

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

Good topic actually. I also seem to have the need to go over bad memories and bad things which have happened to me and my hubby questioned once why I need to keep looking back into the past. I said to him that if you don't look back down the road you can't see how far you've come, but lately I've realised that attitude is completely wrong and I am slowly realising that a lot of my "mind issues" are caused by going over and over things which are long gone but I can't seem to let go of - it's as if I can't allow myself to feel happy with who I am - like I don't deserve it? I was constantly put down as a child and told I was "no better than I should be" and "who did I think I was" - I was never encouraged or praised and all of that needs to be undone somehow - I am so good to everyone else (when sober anyway) and a total bitch to myself. Sorry, gone off topic now!! Anyway, like most of you good folks here I have done some terrible things when drunk, mainly verbal abuse to those closest to me for no reason and being very, very hurtful. The "bad lady" needs to be kicked to the kerb and every day I am trying to sort my head out - you never really get over the shame and guilt but eventually the memories fade (unless of course like me you keep dragging them up just to torment yourself!) Sorry this is a ramble, but somehow it's helped me to write it down - we just need to be nicer to ourselves sometimes - I need to be nicer to that little girl from all those years ago (me!)
Keep fighting YLFA:h

[satori]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

Rerunning past mistakes or bad memories is ultimately futile and harmful to healthy growth.

The things we have done in the past are in the past - and can not now affect us in any way except negatively by destroying our self esteem - so just let it go.

Similarly - don't worry about the future - it is something we have little control over, and it nearly always turns out much better than we worry it will be.

Concentrate on making the right choices and being the best person you can be right NOW!

That is the secret - like a car tyre - it is only the little patch of tyre that contacts the road at every instant that determines the car's direction in the future.
Not the bit that touched the road a few seconds ago - or the bit that will contact the road in a few seconds time - the bit that touches NOW is what is important.


Love

Satori
xxx

[BostonLuv]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

YLFA,

Actually if you want to hear stories you can relate to about things people have done drunk you should go to an AA meeting. People reflect a lot about where they've been and then how they are acheiving more positive things in their lives. A lot of stories. I always hear something I can relate to.

[IAD]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

I've forgotten the worst day,,,,,,,,,,,,day one starts today ! Don't dwell on the past. It sucks. Only the future ! IAD

[STARLIGHT]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

ylfa, welcome to this wonderful and encouraging site. I pretty much agree with all the other posts. I have had many embarassing moments in my past. Unfortunatlly my husband tells me very little about my embarassing moments (even though I ask for details). He just lets me know how mad he is at me. Of course just makes me feel worst.
I do know you have the power to forgive yourself and ask for forgivness of those whom you love. We are the only ones who can get a handle on this demon! But, that all comes from within ourselves. We truly are the only ones that can make us happy! I encourage you to read the My WaY Out book, and look for other books that may appeal to you. And keep on reading here and posting. I wish the best for you.
Blessings, Angel

[Guest]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

Hi ylfa,
Very much agree with the others, in that I just do not wish to recount the worst things I have done when out of my face in drink. It`s enough that we remember these things privately to give us the incentive to stay off the booze which is entirely responsible for our most unfortunate "incidents".

ONLY PRESENT AND FUTURE TRULY MATTER.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[must try harder]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

don't over think...

i have done some awful things, mostly being hurtful to the man i love but also being attentive to people I shouoldn't have been attentive to!!!!!

What has been really helpful though is that the people that i behaved badly with have wanted to stay in contact for the sober times, not because of the drunkeness episodes but because of what they saw through that.

I think most peopel are failry forgiving- the ones that are worth knowkign anyway and if they knwo that you are really someone who is decent and good to knwothey will forgive the other things adn jsut want to help you and like you for the good things.

[KateH1]

The worst thing you have done drunk, how to come over the shame?

Hi Ylfa,

Quite honestly, I think very few people (alcoholic or not) are really pleased with their behavior after one too many. another thing that I knowis that there is no way to go to the depths of self doubt and recrimination faster than to drink.

Always remember, that others are much quicker to forgive and forget than we are.

I applaud you coming back and working on this. All of our stories are the same, we fall down and we get back up. The really important thing is to keep staying sober one day at a time.

Today, I choose to be sober.

To Your Health and Vitality and Well Being,
Kate