Does It End?

[Melissa]

Hello All!

This is my second day lurking around here. I appreciate the support and sound advice! :thanks:

I am a forty-something female living in the midwest USA. Happily married for 21 years. My drinking has escalated to a point that my marriage is threatened. It seems to have happened overnight, though, I realize that it has been a very slow insidious process. All of a sudden, I don't seem to have a handle on things. I have discovered that I black out with relatively less alcohol. I am just tired of it! My husband deserves better. I deserve better!!

My hope is that I can make a positive decision to change and just RUN WITH IT! Does that ever happen or is this ride forever??

best to all and I look forward to getting to know you!

[Cinders]

Does It End?

Melissa,

:welcome:

Your story sounds like most of us here. Some do better than others right off the bat. Some of us take longer to make progress.

Please make sure you read the book and look into the supplements. They really are a big help, not just hype.

Yes, you do deserve better. Lots of marriages in trouble on this site from this and the one thing I can tell you is that you need to do it for yourself first and foremost, the rest will fall into place.

Take care and know our hearts are always open to help each other.

Cindi

[Melissa]

Does It End?

Cindi,

Thank you for the warm welcome and kind words!

[monrose]

Does It End?

Hi,
Welcome. I have recently found this site as well. I think is just wonderful. It does take courage to actually put in print that you think that you have a problem, the first step and I think it was the hardest to actually say that. I know what you mean with it catching up on you. I found that as I have neared the 50 mark I got drunker on less alcohol,, some how it just seems to get out of control fast some how. This site is wonderful, I bought and read the book( I wish that I have down loaded it as it would have been cheaper)none the less its been great, given me new ideas and thoughts about my health. As you I'm not to the point of always be out of control, but I have started taking most the the vitamins, I have also ordered the original cds. just for extra help. I've been alcohol free for nearly 2 months. I have to admit I did miss those glasses wine and surprised that I did actually miss it. I can only recommend this site, it too has made me see sence before its too late. I wish you well

[Guest]

Does It End?

Hi Melissa,
I now think that when we begin to address our alcohol problem, we embark on what is the beginning of the end.
I am only 5 wks. sober and obviously the thought of alcohol is still never far from my mind. However, I hold on to my belief that the longer we are sober, the less we will think of the booze.
I hate alcohol now........detest it.......despise it.........because I am now sober enough to see all it has robbed me of and how it never gave me anything in return. Alcohol betrayed me, as it does all of us. We all seem to find this site when we are in a precarious position, at the 11th hr., with so much to lose..........it`s good that you`ve came here in time to save your marriage.

My advice is indeed to "RUN WITH IT" and never look back, for I will never look back now.........am happy to be free!!!

Love and strength to you,

Starlight Impress x

[Flip]

Does It End?

Hi Melissa,

Living proof that you can do this, and it does get easier - run run run run!!!!

I'm 9 months sober and don't think of drinking anymore, see my post under long term abs "9 months". there's lots of other great posts in there that will help you focus on your goals.

Flip

[meditation mama]

Does It End?

Melissa..

You sound like so many women, including me, that alcohol just "caught up" with in our forties. There is a lot written about late-onset alcoholism and pre-menopause. There is also a lot written about late-onset alcoholism for people that have had some sort of trama, either physically or emotionally. I had a hysterectomy, so instant menopause and surgery, mine started a few months after this -Interesting.. Nonetheless, It effects many women. You are not alone. That is why this site is so wonderful. Some have been able to moderate after a time with meds, some just can't. This site is one of the best resources I have found because of the openness of the forums to both people that want to moderate (or try) and those that want to abstain. Anyway, read the book, start experimenting with the supplements, consider the meds (I am on a very low dose of topa and love it), and ask a lot of questions.

Good luck!

MM

[Finding My Self]

Does It End?

Welcome Melissa

MM has said it all - (!) - you are most definitely not alone. Peri-menopause and alcohol just do not seem to mix. I'm 49 and it was a mighty quick 'sink to the bottom' too! Suddenly I was in deep poo... but here I'm in deep support. 98-ish days AF now and thinking about the ol' firewater less and less each day and feeling a 'new' woman.

The very best to you and I look forward to reading about and sharing your journey.

Love
Finding x

[Mike R.]

Does It End?

I'm still single cause of the booze... what woman want's a drunk? I lost a woman I realy... reay loved after 6.5 years....so now I'm here trying to change... should have done it earlier... but I guess that's what we all say... anyway... best of luck Melissa, more strength to ya and keep lurking... nice people here and are all understanding...

[paula]

Does It End?

Hi Melissa, welcome.
I agree with all thats been said . Run with it and certainly don't look back.
Wishing you well.
Love Paula.x

[Melissa]

Does It End?

Thank you all for your honesty in sharing!

Thank you for your encouragement!

Not sure right now whether to go mod or abs. AF for two nights and feel a bit fuzzy because I am not sleeping very sound. I want to sleep naturally. Surely that will come with time!

Starlight mentioned that she is still having difficulty sleeping after 5 weeks. sigh! I'm ready to hang in there with ya!!

9 MONTHS FOR FLIP!! Woo Hoo! You go! I will be sure to read your story. Keep up the good work!

Meditation Mama. Wow! Never tied this craziness to the menapause thing. I appreciate this new info. And yes, the trauma thing. I lost my career through no fault of my own within the last few years. Also had a very negative experience over the last year caring for a (difficult) family member. While I am no longer in that situation, the guilt hovers! I am still coming to terms that 24/7 care of another is too much for one person!

Finding My Feet, Ohhh how I relate to the sudden "deep poo"!!
Let's just round that AF number up to 100 days! AWESOME! WTG!

Mike, my guess is that you are younger. (?) In any case, it sounds like you are quite determined as you begin this new life! Past is past! Today counts and forms the future!

BTW, Mike, I have a young friend who drank until we were afraid that he would die. He had seperated himself from friends, family and his girlfriend. Long story short, he woke up one morning, still drunk, finished the last of the booze on hand -- then called his girlfriend and told her he was "done". (and apparently, he MEANT it!) She believed him and they are now married with children. Miracles do happen! Keep the faith!

And Paula, thank you so very much for the welcome and encouragement! (I am a fellow Cappy!)

Hugs to all!!

[Andy1111]

Does It End?

Melissa,
I'd suggest hitting up an AA meeting in your town or a surrounding one. Can't hurt. I tried a million different ways to stop drinking and AA was the only thing that did it for me.
Good luck: Alcoholics Anonymous

Andy