just starting out

[TeeTotal-ly Optimistic]

:new:

Hi all!

I just signed up and,as my name implies, am optimistic this group/program will help me reach my goal. I have been abusing alcohol for a few years now (I used to be just a one or two social drinks drinker). I have no idea when or why my drinking started escalating, but when I finally realized I had a problem, I didn't know what to do. Although my husband is the most wonderful supporter, listener and my all-around best friend, he cannot help me as much as he so desperately wants to. I have never heard of any groups other than AA and knowing that it would not be of any help to me, I set out on my own to stop my binge drinking. Backslide after backslide later, I browsed the Internet for answers. This seems like the place and the group of people that can help save me from myself! I have had several rock bottom incidents but the other day my husband told me that the night before I had threatened him with a knife if he didn't give me back my bottle of Vodka. It's not always but I can drink to blackout and this was one of them. I guess the bottom line is that I am sick of myself being like this. I am sick of seeing the hurt in his eyes. I am sick of missing out on so much of life because I'm afraid of the prospect of being sober all day. I miss me and I miss my life. I am here to take it back!

[tawnyfrog]

just starting out

TeeTotal-ly Optimistic;201619 wrote:

. I miss me and I miss my life. I am here to take it back!

Hi and :welcome:

I sooo remember that feeling.

Take a deep breath and know that You CAN Take it back. Read the book, read the posts, make a plan. Then follow it. I promise that it does get better.

So nice to met someone from your neck of the world. Hope to see you around.

[rustop61]

just starting out

Hi and :welcome:

As Tawney said, read the book and boards and take it from there. We are all there to support each other and we all have so much in common. Good Luck

Rustop

[corky]

just starting out

TO - Boy can I relate. I can't tell you how many times I had no idea until I woke up the next am that I had as much to drink as I did. Sometimes I would go to open a bottle of wine I had just bought to find I had already polished it off! Also the countless times I forgot what others had told me, repeat my requests or stories only to hear "we already talked about that 3 times", "you told us that already, don't you remember?". Or, finding out I had made plans with someone and don't remember what day or time. I try to write eveything on my calendar so I remember or if I've had too much to drink hope it will stimulate my memory. Sometimes and sometimes not!!! Hang in there. This is the most excited I've ever been that I will gain control of my drinking and my life. I found AA to be depressing and focused on reminding me that I am never going to be able to control my drinking ("acknowledge we are helpless over alcohol") and constantly having to repeat "Hi, I'm Corky, I'm an alcoholic") . Talk about negative and depressing psychological
programming. Not to mention, AA has not progressed from it's beginning. I'm happy for those who find help there - not me. I have HI hopes for the future. Let's share our journey with everyone here. It is already starting to feel like a safe and effective group for me. WELCOME!

[TeeTotal-ly Optimistic]

just starting out

thanks

Thank you so much everybody for your replies and support. Yes this is going to be hard but I already feel better just having taken the step to join this site. One day behind me! I am going to get the book but I'm not allowing myself to use my credit cards right now (due to the many liquor store charges as of late). I am planning on going to the book store Mon or Tues which is my weekend this week. I guess that's step #2. Anyway, thanks again and I look forward to chatting with you again. By the way, what is the difference between a posting and a thread?

peace

[Beaches]

just starting out

Welcome Tee,
You certainly are not alone. You will find that so many share the same story as you. I know that I came here because I was tired of waking up and not remembering going to bed, feeling like crap everyday and then too tired to do anything...then it all would start again. It really does get better, I promise. You just need to stick to a plan no matter what happens.
Read the book, check out the health store and read, read, read and post, post, post. There is so much support here.
I wish you much success.

[KateH1]

just starting out

Corky,
Welcome.....you have come to the right place if you are looking for real answers and a path to sobriety. Remember, we are all here for each other and that means YOU!

Wishing you Sobriety and Success
Kate

[corky]

just starting out

Kate - thank you! I'm taking it slowly and quietly by myself. You and the others on this site are a welcome refuge. TO - I'm with you. I haven't figured out what the difference of a post and a thread are. Is a post when we write and a thread when we read???

[Beaches]

just starting out

Welcome Corky!
A thread is the main subject and where people post their responses...does that help?

I wish you both great success.

[BILLYJACK]

just starting out

Tee,
welcome aboard. As allready stated, you are not alone in these forums, nor are your issues unique to just yourself.

I quit for a year and a half and joined AA. Become very TIRED of hearing the SAME BS time/time again and went back out myself. Hang in there, you and your hubby deserve MORE than what your getting out of life. For the life of me, I dont understand how my wife of 28 years has put up with my binge drinking for the last 10 years but she said im a great person during the 4-6 weeks that I dont drink, I suspect your hubby see's something similer in you when you are not drinking.