BayGirl in need of support!

[BabyGirl]

Hi All -- I decided to join BoozeBusters last week after lurking for a bit & never realized how hard it would be to quit cold turkey. I am an accomplished 40 year old professional & started drinking wine (I am ashamed to admit) when I got married to a man that was not who he said he was -- recommend counseling PRIOR to the marrage folks! I stayed in the marraige for under two years (no kids) and realized that he and the family that he was totally enmeshed with were messed up -- they were brilliant at hiding their son's secrets and I became isolated and lost youch with who I was... where did she go?

I left my comfy home, my dogs and moved out... he finally signed the divorce papers... and I went on a marriage ender bender -- you name it I was out every night; I was dating; I was still working and successful but I started to come down and wanted change. My sister urged me to move to the town where she was living -- so I left my city life -- still had friends and men but decided to move (I think I knew I was out of control)

I move & within two weeks I find out my sister & her husband were moving to Florida "What?" Next thing I know they were gone. I started dating a guy that I met online & he was all I had. He was verbally abusive -- even though I am a size 6 he made comments about my weight and was really critical -- I moved in with him and after we had been dating close to a year -- within 2 weeks I KNEW -- GET OUT NOW. So, I move out -- he did not help me at all. I hired some guys for the big stuff -- but my money was running very short. So, I was running on adrenalin to move & keep up with work. Finally, I was exhausted. I fell and broke a rib & it also triggered a nerve in my spine & I have been in terrible pain. I was given Vicodin in June -- I have been taking 3 a day for pain.

Throughout this I had been promoted at work (one thing I do know how to do is work) but I was exhausted. I have been dating a wonderful man -- we met at work -- but he wants to make love all of the time!!! And, I just can't -- this week I have run out of Vicodin and I chose not to refill it... last night I just wanted to sleep & he was so frustrated that he left. He now says he needs some time.

So, here I am, alone. I know I need help.

[Guest]

BayGirl in need of support!

Hi BabyGirl,
No offence intended, but I really think you`re investing too much of your personal happiness in any man. I used to think that if only I could meet "the one", that I would be blissfully happy........bollocks!!!.......we have to make ourselves happy.........happiness isn`t a 2nd hand emotion.

I think you should concentrate on all that is good in your life, such as your career, and now that your sis has "upped sticks", maybe you would benefit from making some new friends, especially female ones.

I think you`re drinking because you`re lonely to a certain extent. Also, your bf is hardly Mr. Wonderful if he can`t afford you a little understanding when you`re evidently unwell. Put your all into addressing your drinking for now and when you`re sober you will have a clearer idea of what would make you happy and how to set out to achieve your hopes and dreams.

Wishing you love and strength,

Starlight Impress x

[Beaches]

BayGirl in need of support!

Hi Babygirl,
You need to focus on yourself right now and get well. Forget about the men and all the other outside distractions. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate and trying worrying about pleasing someone else is only going to add to your stress.

I wish you the very best.