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    HAPPY TO BE HERE

    I dont know who started this site, but THANK YOU. Im 50 yrs old male, have a 27 yr old son and a 21 yr old daughter. Been married for 28 years. Im a binge drinker who can leave the booze alone for 4-6 weeks and than BOOM,OUT OF NO WHERE, I'll start a 4-6 day drinking binge and go completely out of control and drink until im so darn sick, that I MUST quit. Quiting is pure HELL for me, I have severe DTs, horrible dreams, cannot eat, my liver hurts,and I cant urinate correctly because my kidneys hurt from all the abuse of the binge drinking. Blood pressure usually hits 185/127 and im a walking TIMEBOMB.

    I quit and joined AA and went COMPLETLY cold turkey with NO BOOZE at all,for a year and a half. Than I got tired of the same old stories you hear in AA all the time and decided it was time to ENJOY myself again and restarted drinking about a year ago.Today will mark the 6th day OFF of my last 5 day binge and im starting to feel pretty good again.I found this site when I looked up the new drug CAMPRAL that my doctor just ordered me on Monday.

    Im very healthy when im not drinking. I pump Iron for about 45 minutes a day,and do about 25-30 minutes of cardio-4-5 times a week. I take a ton of herbs and vitamins during this time as well. BUT, when the binge drinking occurs, all this HEALTH just goes for NOTHING.Alls I give a darn about is the HIGH from the binge and NOTHING else matters. Im sick and tired of putting myself thru this and sometimes I just wished that God would just take me,but I love my family so much, that I dont want to imagine what their life would be without me here. My poor wife of 28 years? I often WONDER what has kept her here for so long? She tells me that im a great loving and wonderful person when im not in the Binge mode.

    SO, Since I quit once for a year and a half, im going to TRY and go ALL THE WAY this time. I'll start the Campral as soon as it arrives from the mail order as permy Insurance.And I'll visit friends in here like there is no tommorow. Im not shy at all when it comes to open forums, I use various sites not related to booze all the time.

    Yes,im SCARED because I have not learned to have a ''GOOD TIME'' without involving booze and when im sober, I cant stand to be around people that are drinking, they irritate me. So im going to have to LEARN how to have a ''GOOD TIME'' without involving booze.

    I'll give it my best shot this time. Doctor says if I was'nt in such good shape before I start these binges, that I'd of probably been dead 5 years ago,and this SCARES the heck out of me.

    SEE YAH ALL------OFTEN.:new:

    #2
    HAPPY TO BE HERE

    Billyjack,

    Welcome!! It sure sounds like you know what you want to do and you have been there before.

    Yes. It is funny how we equate drunk with a Good Time.

    That is the addiction talking to you to make you drink.

    I do recommend you read the MWO book. It does not quite apply to some of us more hardcore alcoholics but there is a plethora of information about supplements and how they help the brain heal from the abuse.

    Glad you are here and great that you were able to stop for a year and a half. That means you can do it again.

    I hope we can be a better support system for you than AA. We are a bit different in philosophy here.

    Cindi
    AF April 9, 2016

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      #3
      HAPPY TO BE HERE

      Cindi,
      thank you for your words of wisdom. Im am SO excited about being able to TALK to folks in here that have the issues like mine without being in an AA scene. Most of the time, I felt HELPLESS to talk to anyone about my problem because I dont expect the average Joe to understand a darn thing that im going thru. Depression kicked in,thoughts of helplessness, and lonelyness, and than, my best friend [wife] I just could'nt talk to her anymore because she's allready heard it so many times before and probably dont believe a word im saying when I say im SORRY..

      I'll buy the book if you'll please tell me where and how to do so.Thank you so much for your support.

      Comment


        #4
        HAPPY TO BE HERE

        Welcome

        Don't know what to say as you sure seem to know it all but.................our biggest problem is learning how to have a good time without alcohol AND with all the stresses that life sends us.
        We are here to support you, in whatever you need to fight this!
        Much Love
        Shas
        Just keep on swmming, just keep on swimming!

        Comment


          #5
          HAPPY TO BE HERE

          :welcome:

          I can relate being a binge drinker myself. Felt so sick from binging where I, too, had every withdrawal symptom you described. It freaks the crap out of you, so you quit for a while and then blammo!

          This program has really saved my life. I tried the AA thing. I had been to rehab (detox facility 2x). I honestly found AA was empowering the first few times but after hearing the same stories over and over I wanted to drink more than ever. I felt it was holding me back in the hole by reliving my pain. I didn't care to share with strangers. I sat and listened and waited for the meeting to be over. I HATED it when they asked me to read from the book. I felt obliged so I did. Too much pressure to be a certain way and to participate out of my comfort zone.

          After sheer desire to want to be well and have a sober life, I found this website. I cannot express how this program has completely changed my life. Here you will find support, love and a whole lot of people who are non-judgmental, helpful and whom really care about one another. You will start to feel better after you get your Campral. There are a lot of great supplements available on this site - which are affordable and high quality to help your body re-adjust and recover faster. The book offered on this site is a good read and outlines the program and discusses the supplements etc...

          You have had some good AF time through out your drinking life, so you know how to get started. It is now you need to prepare a long term plan.

          Wishing you all the best.

          ps. Drinking people irritate the crap out of me too now. I cannot stand being around people who are drinking (have had one or two too many that is). I stay away for the most part. If they get really stupid, I leave. When the situation is unavoidable (good friends or family) - I keep my visits short.

          Comment


            #6
            HAPPY TO BE HERE

            Its been a week now and my body is regaining most of its NORMAL funtions back. I went and played basketball last night [ I do this EVERY Wed night when im not on a binge] and could feel that my leg strength is not what it should be yet from my last binge a week ago. My mind is becoming MUCH clearer now and my concentration is getting better day/day.

            I mean to tell you folks that the binge drinking REALLY kicks my bodys Butt--make NO MISTAKE about that!

            My sleeping paterns are getting BETTER, but they are NOT yet where they should be. The night sweats have completely demished,the liver is still a little sore, and I can now urinate properly [ good kidney funtion now]

            MAN--I'll sure be GLAD when a month of soberity gets here.

            Comment


              #7
              HAPPY TO BE HERE

              Hi BillyJack

              Welcome!

              Good to have you here.

              I can relate to the muscle weakness - there is actually a post on here under the "focus on fitness" section that describes how alcohol actually damages muscle.
              Been there - done that!

              I was like you in that I exercised, ate well and took every kind of vitamin / herb on the market to keep healthy - while all the time destroying my body with drink.

              Now I just do it all - BETTER - without the drink bit!

              You have been Alcohol free (AF) before - so you know how it goes!
              Everyone here is really kind, helpful and supportive - we all understand what each other is going through - because we have mostly been there ourselves! So there is no judgement here - just support.

              And YES it IS possible to have a good time AF - I have only now got to the stage of realising this (after twenty plus years of alcohol abuse).
              I am currently 85 days AF - and am having a BLAST! Life for me is SO much more fun AF! It just takes a bit of time to adjust!

              I'm sure we can help you along to that place too!

              We sure are NOT doom and Gloom merchants here - sure there are serious posts - but hell - we have a lot of laughs along the way!
              This place is tho only thing that ever worked for me - I hope to see around.

              A lot!

              Take care

              Satori
              "Though there are many paths at the foot of the mountain - all those who reach the top see the same moon - as any fule kno"

              Comment


                #8
                HAPPY TO BE HERE

                Hi BJ, good to hear from you. You will find all you need here at any time of day or night. Take time to read through the posts (you will become 'addicted' to MWO!!). This is my global support group along with some really good friends I have found here from all over the world. Looking forward to hearing how you are doing.

                L
                Rather die standing, than live on my knees, begging Please..... No More.......

                Comment


                  #9
                  HAPPY TO BE HERE

                  TEA,
                  Thanks, this site is a very GOOD addiction and believe me, I'll not be a stranger.

                  I have to go into surgery first thing tomorrow morning [6:30am]. My ear/nose/throat Doctor wants to take a look at my Vocal cords with a scope. My throat has been bothering me a little over 7 weeks now and he wants to make sure everything looks OK. Its in/out hospital stay so I'll have my wife by my side and be out tomorow as well.

                  I'll report back real soon.:thanks:

                  Comment


                    #10
                    HAPPY TO BE HERE

                    The other thing you need to look at BJ is the triggers for your binges. All well and good to stop drinking but unless you know and address the underlying reason you might not do so well in the long term.

                    I have a GREAT time without the drink now, and I really don't miss it - EVER.
                    It always seems impossible until it's done....

                    Comment


                      #11
                      HAPPY TO BE HERE

                      Flip,
                      I completely agree with you. I did quit once for a year and a half and life just was not exciting anymore. Im a party type of guy,and have a blast parting with my friends. BUT, my disease no longer allows me to party for one night and than QUIT. I have to go out for 3-6 days until I make myself SO sick that I MUST quit.What I need to do is to find a REPLACEMENT for the party side of me. I cannot stand to party with my friends unless im drinking too,which is no longer an option for me.

                      So, I need to find something else that stimulates the PARTY in me that does not involve booze.-----------------------Im off to SURGURY. Talk to yah all later in the day.

                      God Bless!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        HAPPY TO BE HERE

                        BJ,

                        Hope the surgery goes well and doc doesn't find anything to worry about!!

                        Let us know how you are doing.

                        Cindi
                        AF April 9, 2016

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                          #13
                          HAPPY TO BE HERE

                          Cindi,
                          thank you for your concern. My wife took me to pre-op for 6:30am and I was off to surgery by 8am. GOOD NEWS, my ear,nose, throat specialist who did the scope on my Larinex did not find ANYTHING negative. He said that everything looked very good and the pain was caused by my Larinex being inflamed. He said, that time should heal all of this up.He wants to see me this coming Friday for a follow-up.I was home and in my bed by 11am. Slept till about 1pm and felt good enough to do a few ''slow'' hrs of yard work. Im still a little ''woozy'' from the Anisthesha [spelling?] but im coming out of it. Throat is a little sore, but I can deal with it. Doc give me a script for Vicodine, and im not even going to fill it.

                          I thank God SO very much for this,because ALL week long, I was thinking about the possibility of throat Cancer because Cancer runs rampet in my family.

                          Now?
                          Makes me wonder IF all the Black Velvet and shots that I did thru all these ignorant binges of mine, in some way, is causing the inflamation? Sure makes me think HARD about it.

                          I coincider myself BLESSED and it appears like God heard MANY prayers for me to be healthy.

                          Now the rest is UP TO ME!

                          Comment


                            #14
                            HAPPY TO BE HERE

                            gday, billyjack welcome, I will be asking you for advice in the months to come ,gre3at to have you here!
                            "From now on, walking is my beer and feeling good is my hangover" .....Homer Simpson

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                              #15
                              HAPPY TO BE HERE

                              MAXMAN,
                              thank you.

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