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[Determinatrix]

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BillyJack,

Belated welcome. It sounds like you are motivated. This site can offer amazing support. Read lots, get the meds, book, and cd, and stay involved. You will find a yourself one of the family (yes we do have a strange cousin or two).

Welcome again,

Dx

[BILLYJACK]

HAPPY TO BE HERE

DAY 11 AF.

Im in a real GRUMPY mood today. Found out that my wife ran the credit card WAY up on BS without me knowing about it. No wonder she's been FLYING to get the mail from the mailbox the last few weeks. We are not talking and I dont really give a shit either.

But hey---im NOT going to DRINK over this either!

Bill

[Accountable for Me]

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Great start with your 11 days and your continued resolve to stay AF under the circumstances. Do you think your wife is retaliating from your last binge or two? Or maybe she was feeling very lonely while you were drinking and got caught up in something herself?

Try not to get too distressed. There is probably a reason why she was doing it. She could be acting out in some way.

Deep breaths! :l

[BILLYJACK]

HAPPY TO BE HERE

No, she just likes to SPEND money. She takes home over 5500.00 per MONTH on her job so I guess she figures she is entitlted to spend it however she wants to. Trouble with that idea is that she has already ran a 10k credit card up to 8k just this year,even though she pays it herself, it can have a negative effect on BOTH our credit scores since we are married.Credit scores drop dramatically when you spend over 30% of your total credit limit,even if you pay your bill on time. She payed out 200 bucks last month on that credit card and 125 dollars of it went to INTEREST. I've spoken with her 4 months ago about this BS, and I see she is still not doing things correctly.

We just had ANOTHER conversation about this credit card, and I THINK I got my point across to her this time. I've been giving her the ''silent treatment'' since I retrieved Saturdays mail and discovered this BS.[She HATES the silent treatment]

Everything is COOL now--and guess what?

I did'nt have to DRINK over this!

Bill

[toughintexas]

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Wow...welcome...and I have to say....read your last post again, even tho its totally true...do you see how you feel about her BS and the credit card "history" and "abuse", and your own binge behavior....lol....can you maybe hear her saying/writing this about YOU....its a BAD HABIT, and no matter how bad you feel, how badly you act, how impulsive or how you can't "get it" no matter why its a bad idea....you do it anyway..despite the consequences....Ya'll BOTH have issues.....you need to understand you are BOTH putting up with things that you each shouldn't be doing.....Hard to hear I know, but re-read your post and put yourself in her place, looking at your behavior...sometimes it helps, I know it does me....but I have to pay 75.00 an hour to hear it...lol....Plus, as you probably know, "punishment" for our abusive behavior, doesn't keep us from doing it again...so thats FYI too...if you love each other, then get right over these individual indiscretions....if you don't, then you are too co-dependent to do each other any real good.....

[Accountable for Me]

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I am happy you got things sorted out.

The thing most couples argue about is money... and spending...

I understand where you are coming from. Good job on staying away from the drink! It would of made you feel worse anyway ;-)

[BILLYJACK]

HAPPY TO BE HERE

My wife really is a great gal,I figure she HAS to be to put up with MY drinking binges for the last yr..We do get along very well [28 yrs married] and we very rarely have disagreements. She was SO upset with my ''silent treatment''------ I did'nt ''give in'' until I saw her crying today over me not speaking to her.I THAN knew I had to break the silence code and talk this thing out.

Good thing about us is that we dont have to SHOUT at each other like many couples do.I discussed my displeasure over her out of control spending,she agreed, and said she would COOL IT..We hugged/kissed and tomorrow morning, we are headed for a VISIT to see my brother and his wife.

So, I guess that sometimes, the simple disagreements are not ALWAYS BAD.

[trixietrack]

HAPPY TO BE HERE

BJ welcome to MWO Looks like you fit right in. i have gotten a lot from coming here often and reading and reading and keeping my head up. sounds like you have a plan. this is a good post. it's positive and you seem determined. good inspiration for newbees and old timers alike.

welcome again and looking forward to reading your progress.

took me a while to admit I was heading towards trouble and caught it before it destryed me thanks to MWO.

Trix
(Flip, your avatars are so funny)

[BILLYJACK]

HAPPY TO BE HERE

Just got back from a 400 mile trip to my brother and his wifes house. What a very nice visit and the scenery was spectacular. I gave the wife lots of money to gamble on at the Casino's and she had fun too. Nice trip, no BOOZE either---[Im patting myself on the back]

Bill

[Cinders]

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BJ,

You are doing splendidly!!

Glad you are here and being such an inspiration to us all.

Cindi

[BILLYJACK]

HAPPY TO BE HERE

Thank You Cindi. Your words are much to kind for me at this early stage of recovery,but I am trying to give it my all.

Thank you again.

Bill

[BILLYJACK]

HAPPY TO BE HERE

My wife and I went to go see my older brother who lives a few hundred miles from me and BAMMO--forgot EVERYTHING I told myself about drinking and went on a 5 day Black Velvet Drunk with him. Spent over 2100 bucks between Casinos,booze and motels in just 4 days and we drank on the way back to his house on the 5th day of our drunk. We did not drive because we took our wives and they did'nt drink until we hit the Casinos, where we were lodged at.

I was SO sick yesterday [1st day of AF] and have been kicking myself in the butt for doing something that I KNOW im not suppose to. WHY do I CONTINUE to do this to myself? My liver hurts, my kidneys hurt, my body is just full of pain and my heart rate is at 100 bpm at REST with a BP reading of 160/103...

This continued drinking BS just does not make ANY sense to me and I really want to QUIT it before I wind-up dead.. I'll be depressed for a few days, heal myself up and than head back to the same old BS again.

I just cant go on like this and even though I did quit once for a year and a half, I guess I dont understand WHY im having such a hard time doing it again,especially when I know im an alcohlic.

Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight. I had some TERRIBLE nightmares and DTs last night that woke me up sweating profusely. I dont want to do this stuff anymore.

[Guest]

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Billyjack.........you can do this........you and I know you really want to.

Sending you love and renewed strength.

Starlight Impress x

[Cinders]

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BillyJack,

Every "failure" or lapse, if not ignored, is a step in the arsenal of what not to do next time.

I truly believe that.

Very few people here just jumped in and "did it."

Chief was here a few months, Flip started and faltered and then reallly committed, MDBiker(the sweet Bear) ended up going a last huge binge before getting there, hmmm, Determinator was here for months and then "fell" and ended up getting back up and doing it.

The only time we fail is when we quit trying.

Use your lapse as a learning process, commit again, (I know, I know) and keep going for the goal. You can do it, I can do it.

I am so sorry your health is at such a low ebb. Pamper yourself health wise, give yourself some TLC and figure out how to not go back there again.

Cindi

[Cinders]

HAPPY TO BE HERE

Oh, and who can forget Starlight Impress?

She was here quite a while before she was ready to really go for it.

Look how well all these people I have been talking about are doing.

No failures here, only those who go one day at a time.

Ohh, retteacher (Mary) yet another example...

Hang in there, BJ, you can beat this thing and you will if you do not give up trying to beat it. If you do decide to give up, remember, "beyond there, there be dragons.."

Cindi