I can't believe its been a year allready since I joined this group. So much has happened since including his almost deadly accident last March 2007. I am back again after having observed, reflected and watched this man so lucky to survive in one piece, although he is not as strong as he used to be... All of the good intentions he wrote down while in the hospital seemed to have vanished as if he never wrote them down.
It seems to me that he has no appreciation for his life and a 2nd chance at it. In the past month he has gone from bad to worse. My emotional well being is affected by it ever more. If this accident didn't make a difference, why would our relationship? Nothing seems to matter to him. His whole life is about drinking, sleeping it off and trying to make it to work. Every once in a while he drinks less for a few weeks, and I can see his true self shining a bit.
The end of the year is near, and today for the first time, he admitted that he is an alcoholic and that it is a sickness. No shit! He never ever openly admitted this to me in the 5 years we've been together. I guess some you would call it a ''small victory?'' I suspect that a couple of good meaning friends may have something to do with it.. No need to tell you how deeply moved I am after dealing with this alone and in silence for so long. His aging parents (in their 80's and non-alcoholic folks) surely know what I am going through but never ever talked to me about it. Guess they are just to happy he is with someone who can deal with him... I recently found myself falling once again into a depressive state, probably due to other personal issues I have to deal with at the same time and its getting to be too much for me to handle it all at once. I even surprised myself talking about it to friends when they made little comments to let them know that I am well aware of his problem even though I never mentioned it before. Fortunately these people really care about both of us and his decline is so obvious that there is no more guessing about it.
I think I am ready for the ''tough-love'' action that I have been preparing myself for some time now. He must get help, for his own sake. Two of his old drinking buddies did not long ago and they look great. One of them just celebrated his 1st year of recovery and I never thought this guy could do it. If he doesn't get help, I will sell my house, move and start new. Either way I go its going to be a tough rodeo. I love my house, my friends and my neighborhood and I am writing this here in public to make a powerful impression on my intention.
Thanks for taking the time to read about my life and thank you for making this site possible.
Langoustine
It seems to me that he has no appreciation for his life and a 2nd chance at it. In the past month he has gone from bad to worse. My emotional well being is affected by it ever more. If this accident didn't make a difference, why would our relationship? Nothing seems to matter to him. His whole life is about drinking, sleeping it off and trying to make it to work. Every once in a while he drinks less for a few weeks, and I can see his true self shining a bit.
The end of the year is near, and today for the first time, he admitted that he is an alcoholic and that it is a sickness. No shit! He never ever openly admitted this to me in the 5 years we've been together. I guess some you would call it a ''small victory?'' I suspect that a couple of good meaning friends may have something to do with it.. No need to tell you how deeply moved I am after dealing with this alone and in silence for so long. His aging parents (in their 80's and non-alcoholic folks) surely know what I am going through but never ever talked to me about it. Guess they are just to happy he is with someone who can deal with him... I recently found myself falling once again into a depressive state, probably due to other personal issues I have to deal with at the same time and its getting to be too much for me to handle it all at once. I even surprised myself talking about it to friends when they made little comments to let them know that I am well aware of his problem even though I never mentioned it before. Fortunately these people really care about both of us and his decline is so obvious that there is no more guessing about it.
I think I am ready for the ''tough-love'' action that I have been preparing myself for some time now. He must get help, for his own sake. Two of his old drinking buddies did not long ago and they look great. One of them just celebrated his 1st year of recovery and I never thought this guy could do it. If he doesn't get help, I will sell my house, move and start new. Either way I go its going to be a tough rodeo. I love my house, my friends and my neighborhood and I am writing this here in public to make a powerful impression on my intention.
Thanks for taking the time to read about my life and thank you for making this site possible.
Langoustine
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