well, I've been on MWO for more than a year now and must say it's been the best move I'm made in some very long time...a lifesaver really.
I grew up in a very poor hardworking family in the columbia hights region of WA state. My dear dad worked as a mechanic and my Mom whom I still love today left at my age 5 after divorcing my dad and went to live with a nasty biker "wanna-be" tough guy. I lived with my dad on weekend, and my mom on weekdays and my grandmother of fridays. My Dad then married a pretty lady that I now refer to as my evil stepmother and she, my dad and my sister moved to Oz to start a life building tourist vessels for reef viewing. My step mom physically and menally abused me. she'd beat the crap out of me then tell me that if I told my dad then I'd be taken to an institution. she told me that if their marriage failed it was my fault....I was 10 years old for crying out loud! she was on heroine and other drugs and once my sister and I came home from school to find her having sex with a total stranger in the living room with another stranger jacking of whille watching. we were so moritified and didn't know what to do. we ran out into the cane fields and held each other and just cried for a long time.
during a party my dad said that I should have some beer if I wanted, and of course I wanted to be like the adullts so I popped one down and immedietly felt a euphoria I'd never felt before, I felt amazing. I drank another and then played a game of pingpong with some freinds I'd never been able to beat before..I beat them easily...i was on fire! I was on top of the world. anyway after that party things got worse again with my family. My dad was laid up in bed in a bad way wih his back and my evil step mom said she was coming over with her goons to killl him and me and my sister too. my dad then told me where the riflel was (which he'd had me practice with), told me to load it and hide it in m closet. if she came over I was told to kill her and her thugs too. holy sh*t. I was just a kid and now this was thrown at me. I can't describe the feelings I was plagued with. fortunattely it never came to that. whew!
I grew to alcohol to deal with issues i've never resolved. it was also a tough guy thing in Oz to get hammered at night then try to function in the morning. a machismo thing. stupid but very popular idea. I moved from Oz in the 80's and was homeless for a while and jobless too..just wondered aimlessly for years. my high school credits couldn't get transfered from Oz do to some stupid administrative thing so I was stuck. to make along stor short, I stopped (or at least tried) to stop feeling sorry for myself, got strong and married the most loving and caring person I could hope to. it's been a rough ride but 10 years together has been a true blessing. i struggle, with alcohol and perhaps always will but I will never give up. You have alll been remarkable friends and I look forward to meeting you face to face when time allows.
Love,
Determinator
I grew up in a very poor hardworking family in the columbia hights region of WA state. My dear dad worked as a mechanic and my Mom whom I still love today left at my age 5 after divorcing my dad and went to live with a nasty biker "wanna-be" tough guy. I lived with my dad on weekend, and my mom on weekdays and my grandmother of fridays. My Dad then married a pretty lady that I now refer to as my evil stepmother and she, my dad and my sister moved to Oz to start a life building tourist vessels for reef viewing. My step mom physically and menally abused me. she'd beat the crap out of me then tell me that if I told my dad then I'd be taken to an institution. she told me that if their marriage failed it was my fault....I was 10 years old for crying out loud! she was on heroine and other drugs and once my sister and I came home from school to find her having sex with a total stranger in the living room with another stranger jacking of whille watching. we were so moritified and didn't know what to do. we ran out into the cane fields and held each other and just cried for a long time.
during a party my dad said that I should have some beer if I wanted, and of course I wanted to be like the adullts so I popped one down and immedietly felt a euphoria I'd never felt before, I felt amazing. I drank another and then played a game of pingpong with some freinds I'd never been able to beat before..I beat them easily...i was on fire! I was on top of the world. anyway after that party things got worse again with my family. My dad was laid up in bed in a bad way wih his back and my evil step mom said she was coming over with her goons to killl him and me and my sister too. my dad then told me where the riflel was (which he'd had me practice with), told me to load it and hide it in m closet. if she came over I was told to kill her and her thugs too. holy sh*t. I was just a kid and now this was thrown at me. I can't describe the feelings I was plagued with. fortunattely it never came to that. whew!
I grew to alcohol to deal with issues i've never resolved. it was also a tough guy thing in Oz to get hammered at night then try to function in the morning. a machismo thing. stupid but very popular idea. I moved from Oz in the 80's and was homeless for a while and jobless too..just wondered aimlessly for years. my high school credits couldn't get transfered from Oz do to some stupid administrative thing so I was stuck. to make along stor short, I stopped (or at least tried) to stop feeling sorry for myself, got strong and married the most loving and caring person I could hope to. it's been a rough ride but 10 years together has been a true blessing. i struggle, with alcohol and perhaps always will but I will never give up. You have alll been remarkable friends and I look forward to meeting you face to face when time allows.
Love,
Determinator
zwink:
c: :heart:
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