Lying

[Bunky]

I have a question for anyone who wants to answer...
I know for myself in the past (being like a few weeks ago) if my family asked if I drank I say either no or only a few...when they know I am lying...do any of you do this??? More than anything I do not want to be this way...its the beer

[pepper]

Lying

Lol Bunky,

I used to sneak beers and slam them when no one was looking and everyone would think I was on the same beer for a long time I think it is part of the monster that has us in it's grip!
Pepper

[ducky]

Lying

Bunky, lying and addiction go together in many cases. A lot of us are guilty of it because we don't want to let others down with the truth.

That said, I think it is a good goal to be honest about drinking. I have not always been and I am working on this myself.

[charlee]

Lying

Bunky
I lied all the time...No one suspected in my family (except hubby) because I was a late night drinker. My husband would ask me, did you buy any, have you had any...and the answer was always a firm...NO!!!...I would always get the eyball roll!!!......Of course my eyes were glassy, the face all red, the speech somewhat slurred....My suspicions tell me my actions were louder than my words.

[Tigger1]

Lying

Hi Bunky, I'm new here too, although my wife has been here a year.......
I was on the receiving end of the lies. I knew there was a problem and also knew it was alcohol..... but the lies kept coming. All I wanted was my partner to admit it to me so, maybe I could offer help or support....

I must admit I was angry at the time, although I knew I needed to help...

Each individuals deal with situations differantly.........

I hope whatever you do your family support you.......

Keep posting, there's lots of special people here, I've had the honor of meeting some of them...... If you need help, support or just to talk, post it...

Luv ya
Mr Boop xxx

[living proof]

Lying

I believe that in general alcoholics are notorious liars. We're the best of the bunch. It's unpleasant to admit but I think we can all relate to how many times a day we would "gloss over" the ulgy truth of where our drinking habits had brought us.

Yet another good reason to be AF. The truth will set you free! Our addictions kept us in prison. A prison of lies, fear, self-loathing, embarrasment, disconnection and isolation - just to name a few. The truth, will, eventually, set you free!

[pepper]

Lying

I agree with living proof. I was not kidding about sneaking the extra drinks and I have many times "glossed over" things from the night before often fabricating stories because I truly did not remember!!! My counselor told me a curious thing when I told her no one knows I have such an alcohol problem...she looked me straight in the eye, chuckled and said, "yes, often we are the last to know that everyone else already knows we have a problem." So true.

[trixietrack]

Lying

I never lied about the fact that I drank a lot, I actually bragged about it in a joking sort of self demeaning way.
I didn't care what people thought about me, but I made sure I only spent time with people who also had a problem.
I stayed sober if I was going to spend time with my family, I guess that in itself is a sort of lie.

by the way people can tell if you have been drinking. the smell is really strong even if you take mints. I smell it all the time in the subway, nowadays it grosses me out
Trix

[Determinatrix]

Lying

The thing I think I dislike the most about the lying is that it does not allow me to make decisions based on facts
(for example, who is driving? am I getting you up in the morning for work? should I pick up that thing that we need that you were going to pick up?).
If I had only known, I would have done things differently. My "normal" expectations I could have altered.
I would rather hear an honest "more than you want to know" or "I lost count".

I think that if I offer a negative response to an answer I don't like, that I am actually encouraging the lying.
So upon hearing the response, I have to make sure that I don't then hassle him or get angry.
I try to say Oh, ok, and then make what ever decision I need to make.
Oh it is not easy.

Dx

[beatle]

Lying

Well, I lied all the time, too. I don't think it's unusual and I don't think it's about fooling others or even ourselves. I think it's about not wanting to disappoint others, and about guilt, and shame.

And in my case, and probably many others, I was desperately trying to get over my problem, I quit many times and believed I was "all better", only to slip back into it again. My point is, that I truly believed I could do this on my own and since I would be "all better" soon, why admit it now... since it would soon be irrelevant?

I have no idea how many people KNEW about it, tho I'm certain many suspected.

[Bella]

Lying

Yes! I think its because I felt ashamed. I could not bring myself to say....."yes, I have had a bucket-ful of wine and as it happens I have a bottle hidden behind the curtain right now!" I couldnt say that to my husband could I?! A few times he would find empty bottles which I had forgotten about and all hell broke loose. Oh ...the shame of it! But the only empty bottles he finds now ,are fizzy water ones and they arent hidden.

[Hannah]

Lying

Yup, sure, usually were lies by "omission" - no one ever actually asked me if I'd had a drink - but I certainly didn't tell anyone either, and lied on an application for life insurance once.

[satori]

Lying

Yep - goes with the territory I guess!

I most often lied "by omission" - but TBH it was hearing myself lying barefacedly to my 12 year old son about my drinking that brought me here to MWO!

One of the best bits about going AF is that there is no more need for deceit.

Love

Satori

xxx

[trixietrack]

Lying

Satori you sure have a lot of insight. love reading your posts.
good way to keep us all strong.

Trix

[InnerStrength]

Lying

Hmmm did I lie?

Shit yeah - every single day I drank. I lied by saying I wasn't drinking when I clearly was, or saying I didnt have much to drink when I clearly did. Hiding vodka bottles and beer bottles around the house, etc. Oh and I remember I read here at some point about someone hiding their bottles in the tank of their toilet. I did that too - what can I say? I was inspired. That was the best one.
Lying and addiction absolutely 100% go hand-in-hand - we would have to lie, otherwise we would have to admit how much we were drinking and if we didnt want to stop, why the hell would we admit that? Yup what you say rings very true to me, my dear.
Jen