34 years of growing

[scared17]

I was born in long Beach ca. My mother was addicted to heroin. I spent my childhood in and out of foster homes till I was 18. My mother would go to court & say sorry. She would sing this stupid song with me (we are a family) the judge would make her go through a drug program & she'd get out, we would get goverment housing,food stamps, and the check. Next thing you know we get caught sleeping in a park or on the streets, then we are back in front of the judge again and again until one time i was 8 and the judge said no more. My mother lost all her rights as a mother and i was up for adoption, never got adopted, but my little brother and sister did. I grew up in southern Ca. I lived with a wide variety of people. I never saw my father. When i was 13 my social worker came to me a said they found my dad..he was in Vacaville prison. He overdosed as soon as he got out. That was a major point in my life..I got heavy into coke and was in and out of C.Y.A. I attempted to kill myself. I got put into a mental hospital for about 6 months. When I was 15, I met a girl. She became my first friend. We started to date and i started to mess her life up. She did not give up me. She even married me...in spite of my lies, major drug problem and my anger. We had our first kid at 19...so that meant that not only did I have to be a normal person, but I had to be a dad. I went into rehab myself. I stopped the drug use at about 22, but was'nt perfect. Life was a little clearer so I could work on being a father and husband. I still have some anger prblems, but nothing like before. I now have 2 more kids (boys). I started drinking just here and there, and now it's out control....and here I am... scared again!!!

[Victory]

34 years of growing

Wow.................

Hi scared17, :welcome:
Wow............. so much horrendous pain for a small child to live through but you made it. How wonderful you turned your life around, how brave you are and you did make it. Most of us are here because our drinking got out of control so you are not alone. 34 years of growing is the truth and may we never stop growing. The fact that you are on this site is a major step forward and this is a good place to get honest with yourself and others. Is your wife supportive? Anyone who has been through what you have and survived is an incredibly strong person, you may feel scared inside but look at your track record and how you have conquered against all the odds. You can beat the booze one day at a time. Keep reading and posting this site is inspirational.
Cheers
:goodluck:

[scared17]

34 years of growing

Thank you!

[trixietrack]

34 years of growing

Wow scared, I am shaking. you must be a very strong person to be able to survive all that.
welcome to MWO .
the best to you

[wonderworld]

34 years of growing

Hi scared- :welcome:

Yes, you've had quite a journey so far. Glad you found this site - hope it helps you get where you want to go. You deserve it. We all do!
Keep posting and tell us how you're doing.
wonder

[Prest4time]

34 years of growing

Hi Scared -

Welcome! I am so sorry you had to suffer through what you did as a child, and unfortunately it takes a chunk out of our adult life as we try to figure out how to live a normal life when we came from such an "un-normal" childhood. I know you cant change what happened to you, but at least you have the choice now to take control of your life and the opportunity to guide your three precious children in a positive, caring environment that your never had. They too will be shaped by your choices, and it sounds like you are a very caring person. Your wife sounds wonderful too, and I hope this program really meets you at this point of need in your life and that you will be successful. Its still a journey, but this program has truly been the turning point for so many of us here that we never thought possible.

The best advice I can give you is to do the whole program.... dont pick and choose a few things because its the combination of all the supplements and everything right down to the exercise that really work together to produce the positive result that you need. The only thing I dont do anymore is the Topamax (medication) because of the side effects, but it really did help take away the desire to drink and many here take it with no side effects or problems.

Best of luck to you, and thank you for sharing your story. It was very touching.

Allie

[scared17]

34 years of growing

Thank you for your reply.It means alot!

[buckledown]

34 years of growing

You certainly have had a journey. All I can say is if you have made it this far you are so strong and brave. Your story really spoke to me and you will be in my prayers and thoughts. This is a wonderful place and although I am not where want to be yet I am so much better than when I arrived here. It is a journey and this place gives me hope that people can change and there is more than one way to do it -With no judgment. We are all here and appreciate your honesty. It is no small thing sharing you past - bruises and all - with honesty. I look forward to seeing you around the boards and :welcome: Buckle

[Mackeral]

34 years of growing

Hello Scared,

Im a 31 year old man from England..

I read your story and it just stopped me in my tracks..You have had such a tough life...I see mine as tough but compared to you i feel blessed..

The thing you get from coming to this site is a sence of family...You will be backed up every step.....Because thats what i got..And still get..The people here are amazing...They know what you are feeling..What you need...And where you want to be..

You got through the drugs!!..The tough...TOUGH life and now your here...

Beleive it or not after a few weeks....You will be spurring other people to fight this...

I hope you stick around...And best of luck to you..:l

[scared17]

34 years of growing

thanks for the encouragement!

[Sis]

34 years of growing

Scared- I talked to you last nite, Your story will make me a better teacher. I wish small children can get what they need so that they would not have to go thru what you did. I will say what the rest of the members say to you. You are a brave and strong person. You are so on the right track. Your kids are lucky to have you and your life's experiences to learn from and grow with. Ill be looking for you on the chat.

[free bird]

34 years of growing

Scared17, I just read your post and I am simply amazed at your story. After all you have been through, you don't seem that bitter and I think the anger is only natural. You show great strength and maturity in trying to right the ship for yourself. I don't post that much, but I just had to say something to you.....Keep up the good work. It takes most people a lot longer to admit they have problems with drinking....

Much peace.....

[Accountable for Me]

34 years of growing

Scared17 - your story is so sad, and what a life you have had. I know there are way too many people out there growing up as you did, and it is a shame.

You should be very proud of yourself for getting into rehab in the first place. You are OBVIOUSLY a very strong man, with a very strong desire to be well. With your upbringing, you have managed to find something deep within to want to have a decent life for you and your family.

You show great strength looking for the help you need. I hope you will stick around here and continue reaching out for the help you need. We all understand the issues of alcohol problems and there is so much love and support here - many of us have been able to turn our lives around.

[Chief]

34 years of growing

We're all glad you are a part of our MWO family. Stick with us and dedicate yourself to this program. We'll help you beat this thing...

Don

[scared17]

34 years of growing

Thank you,what grade do you teach?