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    #1

    isolated within

    I am learning how to do all of this, a new experience. I want to feel alive again and at present stopping guzzeling alcohol in private would mean freedom. The craving/compulsion to do so would be a relief. I plan to start ordering some of the items for assistant. Don't like being so alone, but, I am pretty locked in.
    K
    :notes:Theme2be

    " Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them~everyday begin the task anew".-Saint Francis de Sales
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    #2
    isolated within

    Hi melsdaughter~

    I know of that isolated feeling all to well. Once I would start drinking, sneaking my drinks the isolation would set in, along with the shame, guilt, and disgust in myself. I hated how I felt when I would drink like that. My suggestion is to not just PLAN to get the items you are thinking of for asssitance, but actually GETTING them. There are so many wonderful tools for us to utilize, so don't wait. There is a big beautiful world outside your head just waiting for you...no need to be locked in any longer. We will help you!

    Namaste,

    MM
    Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

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      #3
      isolated within

      Hi Melsdaughter-

      :welcome:

      You are no longer alone. You have all of us. We all share this very personal struggle and are on the road to better days. I can so relate to your words - drinking is very lonely and isolating for me also. But here, you can tell it like it is and get all the support and information you need. Just keep reading and posting.

      Glad you have joined us! Yes, it takes a little while to figure out how to navigate this site, btu you are on your way! Congrats.

      Looking forward to hearing more about you!

      Wonder xx

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        #4
        isolated within

        Hi Melsdaughter....welcome and I wish you the best. Keep posting so you don't feel so alone. The alcohol temporarily numbs the lonliness but winds up making us feel more alone than ever. thank God we have each other here to talk to.

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          #5
          isolated within

          Welcome Mels!

          You have found the right place - there is so much support here for whatever way you decide to manage your drinking. There are "all walks". Just take some time and fish around - read, post, contemplate, and you will know what is right for you. A 30 day start of AF (Alcohol free is recommended in Roberta's book. Have you read the book? You can download it here - the best place to start is getting familiar with the program so you can figure out what might work for you.

          Glad to have you around! :rays:

          Go2Goal Attached files [img]/converted_files/377848=2632-attachment.gif[/img]
          "Go Placidly Amid the Noise and Haste"

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            #6
            isolated within

            Thank You, Wonder,MM,Indigosky and Go2goal, so much.
            It meant a great deal to just right now find your reply's. This will be a major healing to talk to others. No~one knows, unless they see me the next day as I "look" alittle "under".
            I am reading MWO at present, and making note, mostly thought is the idea of HOPE. Ever since I went to the AA and did all asked and still had that voracious craving , have I longed for "something" because I just knew there had to be more. I just took some Nature's Way Kudzu a few moments ago. I hope this is the right brand and all, you just read so much about what is best. I don't have health Insurance, so I don't know about getting a Dr. for the prescription of Torpamax, but, it appeals to me and especially that you take it for I believe I read, the first two months?
            What worked for you?
            It helps to have this place to come to.
            I at prsent guzzle/gulp a bottle of wine when I am secluded in my room , so I can down it withing a few moments. I try to keep it at that and then fall asleep. I resisted opening the second bottle last night as I would know how this affects me the next day.

            Thank you so much for reaching back out to me. It is actually hard to believe. I have no one here to speak to from my heart, so I am living an illusion.
            I look terrible, 40lbs weight gain. I want my health back and to feel my personhood again.
            I, as an artist have practically shut down all creativeness. It is just silent.
            I am not, now, that I have this.
            It is a nice beginning and I live for the moment that I feel this cloud and ball and chain release me so I can feel lighter.

            Will be back,
            K
            :notes:Theme2be

            " Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them~everyday begin the task anew".-Saint Francis de Sales

            Comment

              #7
              isolated within

              melsdaughter: you sound very much like me. drinking alone, feeling isolation, that the best of yourself is locked awayy, also 40lb. weight gain for me if not more I miss myself!! I don't have much advice as I just started taking some supps, am going to try to do it without Topamax, still haven't managed to really stop drinking but the support here gives me so much hope. welcome.
              :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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                #8
                isolated within

                Yep - drinking left me in iscolation. I was drinking alone for the most part in the end. Just know once you quit, a newly found freedom will appear.

                Get some supplements and stay close to the boards. You will never be alone here.

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