Here's my story

[lukalee]

Here's my story

That was so remarkably written. I too am sitting here crying. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

[kingfisher]

Here's my story

HOLY SHIT, what a story. IM amazed & glad your still here to white about it. Something about letters. They'll create change in your soul like nothing I could describe. It doesn't make any sense untill youv'e done it, then WOW!!!. I highly recomend you try this. I did it not long ago because I had to get a bunch of bagage off of my cart. It was not easy & tough guys don't cry, but there was a lot of tears. When I was done it was as if my cart was empty.Here's my suggestion. Write a letter to someone that has hurt you, & one to someone you feel you have hurt.(They can be breathing or not, order doesn't matter) I'de suggest your dad & little brother. (don't nead to do both at same time).When a letter is finished, read it to someone you trust ,or you could post it here.(no matter just nead to let it out).It won't be easy, but when your done you best run for the hills, the skeletons will be flying out of your closet so fast they'll knock you over if you don't get out of the way. I truely hope you'll try this. I can guarantee it will help in a big way. All the best in your journey & PS All men are not monsters. sincerly KF:h

[kingfisher]

Here's my story

READ NEXT POST BEFORE THIS ONE. Ha M.O.W. Realized didn't give much info in my first post, which could become a little confusing if you don't no the rules. Letters don't need to be mailed(can be if you wan't). Main thing that neads to be in them is how the person hurt you or how you feel you hurt them, how they made you feel then & now, what you think of them, then and now, no holds bared. You get the point.:thumbs: All the best KF.

[MyOwnWoman]

Here's my story

thanks for the advice, KF. I just might do this. Writing is very healing for me, and to write specifically to someone I suspect woould be more powerful.

Last year I wrote a letter to two of my sisters. they were grown when I was a kid, and though they knew much of the abuse in the home, they didn't know that my older brother was having sex with me for years. NObody did. I felt that it was time to lighten that burden and open up, share the secret that had filled me with shame for so many years.

I wrote the letters and emailed them. One sister replied with compassion, then it's as if none of it ever happened. The other sister was very close to this brother and was devastated more than the rest of us when he killed himself. She replied once months after I sent the letter and I haven't heard from her since. I guess it might have been a mistake to burden them with such truth. But for me, it did lighten my load in having let it out.

[onthegrand]

Here's my story

My Own Woman,
You are an incredbily brave and beautiful woman. I am so saddened by your story and want you to know that we are all here for you and believe in you!!
OTG

[Preciouspinot]

Here's my story

I was deeply and profoundly moved by your story and by the writing style itself... I also believe you should write your memoirs.....I would gladly buy a copy AND wait in line for you to sign it

[winesistah]

Here's my story

My Own Woman........this is my first time on this site and yours was the first story that I read. I ache for you and know your pain. You are not alone and have such strength within. Believe that! My favorite song is "Wind Beneath My Wings"-Bette Midler. When I hear that song I think of that little girl that I once was who had her spirit taken away by her parents, parents who were drunks and irresponsible. That little girl is the wind beneath my wings, my heroe. She gave me strength to move on and make something of myself and stop the pattern of abuse. You definitely have a beautiful soul and a heart that is open. Your story is so familiar to me. I have such compassion and understanding of your pain.

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Here's my story

My Own Woman~ l echo everyone's sentiments. You are truly a strong, courageous and compassionate woman..... one time when I was talking to my pastor, he made two comments about alcoholism and abuse that I'd like to share.

The first one: when people experience that kind of pain, they "check out".
That's what you did, when you left home and never came back. Perhaps now, with time healing some of the wounds, you can reach out to your younger brother~ you will, when the time is right for you. :h

The second was to to "forgive yourself".
There was abuse in my family. When I was 2, my dad had a job transfer. My mom was stressed out (pregnant and caring for 6 kids); Dad brought us to my grandparents so they could share a weekend. My grandfather raped my 6 year old sister. The town doctor (my great uncle~ his brother) gave her stitches. My great aunt held my sister down and threatened her to shut up, or else she would tell my mother and my mother wouldn't love her anymore.

When my parents came back, my great uncle met my dad at the car, and told him to NEVER leave us there again. For years, my dad thought that his kids were "too much" for my grandparents and never knew the truth. But like other victims, my sister suppressed the memories, and eventually remembered when she was in her mid 30s. When she sat down with my parents to confront them and to forgive them, my mom said nothing while my dad cried, for now he could understand my great uncle's cryptic comment.

MOW, I hope you "forgive yourself"~ my sister still struggles to do this. You are such a brave woman to share the horrors that you've survived... and while I mourn for your pain, I celebrate that you are, my friend, finally your own woman. :l

Much love,

[Hannah]

Here's my story

I read you life story, and it made me feel very, very small. I have wined and sniveled about my own childhood, but compared to yours, it was a walk in the park. So many of us have backgrounds that drive us to the bottle, even though the bottle was responsible for those backgrounds - probably because that is the only coping mechanism that we ever saw in use, and the only one we were ever shown. Not saying, of course, that your father, would have been less of a monster sober, or you older brother for that matter.

You should be so proud of yourself - you have risen above the muck and done what you need to do. I don?t know if you are AF, or still drinking, but you are on the road to healing. Good for you.

And, I thing it is a common thing on this forum that our best relationships are here, we as a lot find it hard to have real, intimate friends outside of the protective animosity of the boards, because here we can be just ourselves, without fear of rejection, judgment, or valuation. And I am so glad you are here. Sending you hugs.:l

[Jaded]

Here's my story

OMG...What a story!!!!!!
WHAT A HORRIBLE CHILDHOOD.
Thank you for sharing that..Do you still receive therapy?