Hello ? I?ve been reading through the posts on this board, and there seems to be a great group of sincere people trying to make positive changes in their life. I?m a person who has finally faced up to the reality that I need to change my drinking behavior.
Thursday December 27th I went out on the most recent binge. I spent Friday with a miserable bout of hangover, guilt and anxiety. I?ve been trying to moderate, and do ok from time to time, but succumb to binging.
Throughout the month of December I started keeping a log of my drinking. I wanted to start getting an objective picture of how much I drink. I binged twice, and drank more than 4 drinks 6 times. It?s the holidays, so I could make excuses, but I?m sick of making excuses and winding up with a nasty case of regrets and anxiety. On Friday, I decided to abstain completely for at least one month.
This was bad timing, as my girlfriend was quick to point out. I had parties to attend Saturday, Sunday and of course tonight. My perception initially was that if I go to these parties, I would have to drink. Or I could just not go. But not going would put my girlfriend in an awkward position.
And that is my problem ? it is just a part of my social character to drink. I can abstain fairly easily when by myself. But I?ve woven drinking into my social interactions so tightly, that I find it next to impossible to even imagine not having a drink in my hand. I guess this sounds familiar to a lot of you.
So I went to the required parties the last two days, and didn?t drink. I talked and acted as normal as possible. I got tired pretty early. Before the events, I made a game plan. I discussed how long we?d stay with my girlfriend. I told her I wasn?t drinking (and she smirked at that). I anticipated as well I could my emotional reactions to standing in a room full of drinkers with a club soda in hand. I left relatively early, which gave raise to a minor fight with my girlfriend Saturday night, who wanted to stay longer. All in all, a relative success.
Now, I need to get through tonight. Another drinking party, and friends who saw me Friday night and told me I better be ready to ?party? tonight. Well, I?m ready to ?party? with a club soda. If you don?t like me sober, you don?t like me.
To take stock of where I am in relation to the principals of this program I?ve been able to read over the past couple days, I can see I am already familiar with some of the concepts. I exercise regularly (run 15-20 miles a week); I take supplements and fish oil; I use herbal sleep aids when needed (mainly valerian and skullcap teas). I eat a relatively healthy diet, although I could do better here. I am not interested in prescription medication unless I find I cannot manage cravings and anxieties through diet, exercise, supplementation and building a better life for myself.
And lastly ? I understand the importance of perception in this effort. I?m not ?giving something up? ? I?m trying to grasp at something, mainly a fuller more satisfying life. My drinking rituals are robbing me of this fuller, richer life.
And so with each decision not to drink at this evening?s event, I have to bear that thought in mind. This decision to abstain from drink is actually a decision to embrace my life. I?m not giving anything up.
And as much as possible, I?m going to try to loosen up and have fun. And do it sober, for once.
Thursday December 27th I went out on the most recent binge. I spent Friday with a miserable bout of hangover, guilt and anxiety. I?ve been trying to moderate, and do ok from time to time, but succumb to binging.
Throughout the month of December I started keeping a log of my drinking. I wanted to start getting an objective picture of how much I drink. I binged twice, and drank more than 4 drinks 6 times. It?s the holidays, so I could make excuses, but I?m sick of making excuses and winding up with a nasty case of regrets and anxiety. On Friday, I decided to abstain completely for at least one month.
This was bad timing, as my girlfriend was quick to point out. I had parties to attend Saturday, Sunday and of course tonight. My perception initially was that if I go to these parties, I would have to drink. Or I could just not go. But not going would put my girlfriend in an awkward position.
And that is my problem ? it is just a part of my social character to drink. I can abstain fairly easily when by myself. But I?ve woven drinking into my social interactions so tightly, that I find it next to impossible to even imagine not having a drink in my hand. I guess this sounds familiar to a lot of you.
So I went to the required parties the last two days, and didn?t drink. I talked and acted as normal as possible. I got tired pretty early. Before the events, I made a game plan. I discussed how long we?d stay with my girlfriend. I told her I wasn?t drinking (and she smirked at that). I anticipated as well I could my emotional reactions to standing in a room full of drinkers with a club soda in hand. I left relatively early, which gave raise to a minor fight with my girlfriend Saturday night, who wanted to stay longer. All in all, a relative success.
Now, I need to get through tonight. Another drinking party, and friends who saw me Friday night and told me I better be ready to ?party? tonight. Well, I?m ready to ?party? with a club soda. If you don?t like me sober, you don?t like me.
To take stock of where I am in relation to the principals of this program I?ve been able to read over the past couple days, I can see I am already familiar with some of the concepts. I exercise regularly (run 15-20 miles a week); I take supplements and fish oil; I use herbal sleep aids when needed (mainly valerian and skullcap teas). I eat a relatively healthy diet, although I could do better here. I am not interested in prescription medication unless I find I cannot manage cravings and anxieties through diet, exercise, supplementation and building a better life for myself.
And lastly ? I understand the importance of perception in this effort. I?m not ?giving something up? ? I?m trying to grasp at something, mainly a fuller more satisfying life. My drinking rituals are robbing me of this fuller, richer life.
And so with each decision not to drink at this evening?s event, I have to bear that thought in mind. This decision to abstain from drink is actually a decision to embrace my life. I?m not giving anything up.
And as much as possible, I?m going to try to loosen up and have fun. And do it sober, for once.
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