Hi everyone, I'm new here and glad to have found this place! I've taken a few days to look around and, although I'm not the type of person to normally 'open up', I'm going to trust my instincts and tell you the disgusting truth.
About two weeks ago I was arrested and spent two days in jail, it took that long to raise bail. When they took me in I had only one charge but managed to up that to 2 before morning because I was plastered, scared, angry as hell (with reason but does that really matter?) and my 'fight or flight' response kicked in and, true to form, I chose FIGHT.
My biggest problem probably is that I suppress my feelings a LOT of the time for the sake of peace and the anger just builds and builds until BOOOOOOOOM, I blow up. It's not one little thing, it's tons of little things that I carry that eventually threaten to crush me and I slip off the dangerous 'moderation' slope I've been sliding on for years and that's it, it all comes out, violently!
I've stopped drinking completely, for years, before and was very happy. Then I started thinking 'I can just have a drink here or there and I can handle it." I don't think so! It's all or nothing with me, that's how I do everything so why should alcohol be any different? I'm still drinking and not having a problem moderating but I know that will not last forever so I've decided to stop on Jan. 2nd.
I realize I haven't really revealed much here, certainly not even the tip of the iceberg of 'my story', if I told it all it would be a book, a BIG one lol. Right now I just need to know someone is behind me in this struggle and will help me stay on my feet. Thanks for listening, I look forward to getting to know all of you.
About two weeks ago I was arrested and spent two days in jail, it took that long to raise bail. When they took me in I had only one charge but managed to up that to 2 before morning because I was plastered, scared, angry as hell (with reason but does that really matter?) and my 'fight or flight' response kicked in and, true to form, I chose FIGHT.
My biggest problem probably is that I suppress my feelings a LOT of the time for the sake of peace and the anger just builds and builds until BOOOOOOOOM, I blow up. It's not one little thing, it's tons of little things that I carry that eventually threaten to crush me and I slip off the dangerous 'moderation' slope I've been sliding on for years and that's it, it all comes out, violently!
I've stopped drinking completely, for years, before and was very happy. Then I started thinking 'I can just have a drink here or there and I can handle it." I don't think so! It's all or nothing with me, that's how I do everything so why should alcohol be any different? I'm still drinking and not having a problem moderating but I know that will not last forever so I've decided to stop on Jan. 2nd.
I realize I haven't really revealed much here, certainly not even the tip of the iceberg of 'my story', if I told it all it would be a book, a BIG one lol. Right now I just need to know someone is behind me in this struggle and will help me stay on my feet. Thanks for listening, I look forward to getting to know all of you.
. I have tried before to get him to stop with me and he says he'll never say he's quitting and I understand that thought. It's kind of good in a way because if you slip you don't make yourself out to be a complete failure with that kind of thinking. However, I don't think it means he plans on being wasted for the rest of his life either.
Comment