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    I'm new here...

    Happy New Year. I've been here for 10 days now, reading your posts, and feeling a certain familiarity with your stories. Though this is my first post, I also feel a sense of "bonding" with this group. As I read your posts, I sit here shaking my head in realization that I too have been where most of you have been. Here is my quick overview: I grew up in a close knit family, no drama, but there sure was a lot of drinking going on throughout my childhood and young adult years. It was just "accepted" I would even venture to say almost expected that when you turn 21, you drink. It wasn't my parents doing the drinking, as a matter of fact, my mother has only had a sip or three of beer in her entire 86 years! The thing is, I am the youngest of 7 children, I have five brothers all of whom drank at an early age, two of them thankfully grew out of it in their young adult lives. The third has tapered way down, the fourth is begining to show signs of the effects of drinking, and the fifth we lost to "liver disease" in 2005. Back to pre-2005, being from a large family, gatherings were always a huge party at my parents home and of course a party is not a party unless there is a keg and tequila shotz involved with the added falling down drunks ending in red eyed, hung over bodies strewn all throughout my parents house the next morning. This was the norm for family get togethers. I know it bothered my parents a lot, but by the time I started joining in the "party" all of my siblings lived outside the home and I guess my parents didn't want to say anything that would keep any of them away. Its not their fault, its just their way. Besides, none of us would have listened to them anyway. That is how a drunk is after all. The infamous sayings in our family were "its noon somewhere in the world" or worse "everyone dies of something". Sickly isn't it? ....I started drinking when I turned 21 and watched it grow progressively until December 2007. I managed to get married, have three kids, get divorced, get a degree, get a job, become self sufficient and feeing very much like I "deserved" to drink, after all, I've been through so much including losing my dad and my brother in the same year. Who wouldn't drink right? The drinking picked up in 1999, (with 2005 being the begining of bi-weekly drunken nights and wasted days). I have managed to miss a lot of the growing up years of my children, because I have very few recollections of those times. I think back and remember lots of drinking, waking up and finding empty beer cans around the computer. Once I found a note my then 12 yr old daughter wrote to her dad telling him she was very lucky to have him since her mother drank all the time. Ouch. But that didn't stop me. The worst part is having the kids ask me about an event that we shared when they were little, and I cannot remember it. Big Ouch. This past year, one of my two daughters and my son moved in with their dad. My son left telling me I was drunk all the time anyway.............(that one cut pretty deep)
    Its 2008 now and I have been sober 8 days. I feel scared alot of times, driving home from work last week I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin, the anxiety I felt was overwhelming, it felt as though I would "blow up" or something. I got home took a shower, a melatonin (natural sleep aid, I work nights and was arriving home to get some sleep) and thankfully fell asleep and got through it. I have to tell you that I read your posts that morning as I do daily now and it is through your shared stories and sincere caring that I find encouragement to move forward or as I like to say "soberly party on..."
    That was me, there is a new me now and you are now my new friends, even more than friends, you are my support and gateway to embrace a new me, a new life and I hope that I can return that favor to each and every one of you.
    (by the way, DiscoBunnie is a dumb name I know, but I was dubbed that by my famiy once when one of my drunken actions caused me great humiliation and embarassment, it helps me remember why I should NOT drink!) Thanks for listening and caring. I look forward to getting to know you better

    #2
    I'm new here...

    DB, I listen and I care :welcome: to MWO ...

    Your story is so familiar to many here ............. but I have to tell you that you have found the best place ever ..

    This time last year I was a wreck, now I'm sober, happy, content, and my family love me ..

    Stick around and let us help you .........

    BB xx
    sigpicXXX

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      #3
      I'm new here...

      Hi Bunnie-
      Welcome and thanks for your honest and thoughtful post. I have been here about a year and a half and my life has changed dramatically in that time. No one can make the change for you but it sure is nice to have friends and support from people who understand what you are going thru and truly want you to succeed.
      Congratulations on 8 days with no alcohol!
      I wish you well on this new beginning -

      Lisa

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        #4
        I'm new here...

        DB: congratulations on your eight days!! isn't it amazing to find this group and no longer feel that you are the only one with this kind of problem. Your story really got to me and I can tell it wasn't easy to tell. I'm planning to quit tomorrow and am terrified of the anxiety. I hope all of us can help one another thru this ... !
        :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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          #5
          I'm new here...

          Hi DB and welcome.....im back here after fully recovering and thinking i could go it alone...bit of a mistake!!!
          Im so glad to be back and everyone here is so lovely, im sure you'll find much comfort and support here too.

          Lou-Lou x x x
          "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around"...Penelope Cruz...Vanilla Sky

          Comment


            #6
            I'm new here...

            Wow! Big huge smile... thank you all for the warm welcome. I don't even know what to say, except that I am sooooo glad to have found you all! This is a great place to be Dexterhead, I will be thinking of you as you begin your journey tomorrow. Lots of postive energy being sent your way. You are all in my thoughts...... =)
            PS. What is the best way to keep in touch, through this forum or is there some other forum? I am not too famiiar with navigation here
            signed the bunnie ;o)=

            Comment


              #7
              I'm new here...

              Well done

              Hi DB, :welcome:
              Yep alcohol is a powerful master, this is a good place to be and as you can see we are all here due to problems with alcohol. Congratulations on your 8 days AF. Hope to see you round the boards.
              :goodjob:

              Comment


                #8
                I'm new here...

                Hi DB,
                A big welcome from me. Its not an easy road, but we are all here for each other. I think it gets easier and better. I have/had a big problem with drinking wine after work. Hard habit to break.
                Good Luck.

                Comment


                  #9
                  I'm new here...

                  Welcome D B.Congradulations on your first post.:goodjob: Very well said & easy to understand.:thanks: Must of been tough for you if it took ten days. (Looks good on ya though.) All the best on your journey, good luck reaching your goals & HAPPY NEW YEAR, Keap it safe,happy & solber(as much as possible) .:welcome:& keep posting K.F.
                  There's more to life than success. The greatest success is living well.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I'm new here...

                    Missed You...

                    Heyyyyy!!! Thanks again! You guys are all incredibly great, honestly you have no idea how important you are to me!! I got lost for a few days, couldn't figure out how to get back to this thread! I do know how to use a computer, REALLY I do!!!

                    I have to tell you on this 10th day, big smile, that I see what great strength there is in this group. Quitting drinking/stopping an addiction, is a very hard thing to do and each day we live without "al" in our lives is a great accomplishment for each one of us.

                    I used to walk through the grocery store and watch people around me, how they could get through the "spirits" department without even flinching or being overcome by "that" feeling (you know what I mean). I have such a sincere appreciation and overwhelming sense of proudness for "us". I say that because I know first hand how extremely difficult it can be to beat this demonic force called "al" that has dug its nails into us and fooled us into believing he is our "friend". What a coniving bastard! I see the incredible strength and courage it takes to say "no". It is not about "just saying no" for us, it is a much greater feat. And that is why I applaud loudly that we are here, that every 24 hours of al free days that we have makes us that much stronger, that much happier and that much more "here"! So here's to us, I'm holding up my al free coca cola!!

                    You are in my thoughts and prayers always! Just curious, what are some hobbies being taken up to replace the lazy days of al?

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I'm new here...

                      Now that I have some sober time on my hands I realize my housekeeping, garage space and yard are not in the condition they should be. I guess (duh!) that I've been neglectful. So I am cleaning, organizing, and donating. Not a whole lot of creativity being let out here but after I take care of the home duties I plan on painting, drawing, composing and writing. I haven't finished a book in years even though I started at least a dozen books. My attention span was drowning in wine. I am going to uncover the passion for my work that I lost. Can you imagine your children having a teacher that hates her job? (and yes, I started disliking students and dreading going to work). I love going on little hikes, and little bike rides, so will get back into that. I really have so much to look forward to that I didn't realize until now. My mind is starting to come around to my enthusiasm for life on this 7th AF day.
                      sigpic

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I'm new here...

                        This is my first time posting and to be honest I am very encouraged already. I guess that I am from a far off land than most of you people (Ireland) but the problems all sound so familiar. I have a number of questions, hopefully someone can kindly shed some light on them. 1. I don't ever have the urge to drink during the week but when I do drink it is always to excess and is totally out of control, did you start off like that yourselves? 2. Have any of you tried Naltrexone, I have done a bit of research on it and it seems to be pretty good? 3. I stopped drinking for over a year but then began drinking again uncontrollably, annoying and disaappointing many people in the meantime. Has this long period of abstinence ans subsequent relapse happened to anyone else? 4. How do you know when you are an alcoholic??

                        Thanks so much for all your kind words that I have been reading on these pages. At the minute people are talking about me because I was a complete mess at a social function but the simply do not understand how difficult it is for us.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I'm new here...

                          Hi Paradise and :welcome: .....

                          I'm from the UK so not too far away from you ....

                          Can't help with the meds because i've taken them, and we all had very different starts on our drinking journeys .....

                          As for when do you know that you are an alcoholic?? I think if you have to ask that question then you probably realise that you have a problem with alcohol ..... All the best on your journey ...

                          DisoBun, How are you doing???

                          BB xx
                          sigpicXXX

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I'm new here...

                            Oh My GOD disco bunnie I lived with a bottle of booze on the table since i could remember. Family parties everyone drunk, mom and gramma didn't drink but everyone else was sure to be bombed at every family event. We even had a "RECOVERY" room with beds, so people could pass out for the night. Next morning would be coffee and butts and the air filled with stench booze breath, oh how i look back at those disgusting days. And the reward of a drink cause we did so much. Hang with us we know all about the demons of alcohol and how it ruins lives. My father died wet brain along with many other men and women members, my brother is full fledged don't want to be around him person and my sons are drinking heavily, it is a family disease. My mothers father was the town drunk sleeping on the park bench most of his life and her sisiter died at 40 from an overdose of diet pills and booze, this disease really kills. You have bonded with some experts here on use and abuse. Nice to hear from you, post on and join the AF club. If I can do it you can.

                            Luv ya Dear.
                            Ripple~
                            Shirl.
                            Keep coming.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I'm new here...

                              Just wanted to say Hi and :welcome: DB,
                              Your post was very honest and similar in a lot of ways to many of us.
                              Congratulations on your 10 days and good luck.

                              Eastx
                              In life we can live out our dreams its true
                              the one who decides,takes chances,makes choices is YOU.

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