Stumbled onto this site a few days ago, and found it to be pretty cool.
I'm a 36 yo man with a beautiful, loving wife and three great boys.
I started drinking and doing various drugs at 13 yo, and took to them pretty quickly. One of my earliest bad memories of drinking is at 15 yo, going to a dance after chugging Southern Comfort with friends. I was having a good time for a while until I started feeling pretty sick and puked all over the floor. Of course I got kicked out and it was so cold I had no choice but to go home. This was the first time my parents would ever see me drunk.
High school was basically getting high every day, drinking on weekends, the usual stuff. Looking back, I did seem to enjoy it more than others. My first semester in college was spent in a drug and alcohol induced haze. Despite have always been a tremendous student, I flunked out, never to return.
And so, on to my twenties, basically more of the same. Drinking, getting high, always holding down a job and basically keeping my life in order. Got married at 26, bought a house, first son at 27, everything going pretty well. On the outside everthing was great, but on the inside warning signs were popping up. I had always been a near-daily pot smoker. But my alcohol usage was steadily increasing, especially in frequency.
At 30 years old, I had something of an awakening and decided to give up the weed. It bothered my wife more than the drinking and was less socially acceptable. Wasn't too hard, and then six months later I decided to quit the booze. Again, wasn't that bad. 6 months clean and my life was very good. I felt great.
Ah, but this is of course not the end of the story. Like many others, I started thinking "a couple of beers won't kill me." My how quickly my daily drinking habit returned, worse than ever. I cruised along for a while, had another stint with the pot, even a brief run with painkillers, then things really started going downhill. Weekdays became work, go home, drink till bed. Weekends became getting up, two cups of coffee, drink till bed.
With three kids and a wife active in youth sports, etc., the facade was getting very hard to keep up. Try coaching a youth soccer team on Sunday afternoons after 8 or more drinks. Surely people were noticing.
My body was also starting to take a beating. I have always been in great shape, high capacity for work, high energy. Feeling anxious, irritable, nauteous, and weak is not something easy for me to take. Also my mind was slipping, not able to quickly remember names, etc. It also gets to be very expensive to drink constantly.
What kind of example am I setting for my kids? Do I want them to think it is normal to drink all day every day? Surely they will eventually realize that I am a drunk.
Well, the time has come to put an end to this. I had what I hope was my last drink two nights ago. Got through yesterday, and so far today. God help me.
I'm a 36 yo man with a beautiful, loving wife and three great boys.
I started drinking and doing various drugs at 13 yo, and took to them pretty quickly. One of my earliest bad memories of drinking is at 15 yo, going to a dance after chugging Southern Comfort with friends. I was having a good time for a while until I started feeling pretty sick and puked all over the floor. Of course I got kicked out and it was so cold I had no choice but to go home. This was the first time my parents would ever see me drunk.
High school was basically getting high every day, drinking on weekends, the usual stuff. Looking back, I did seem to enjoy it more than others. My first semester in college was spent in a drug and alcohol induced haze. Despite have always been a tremendous student, I flunked out, never to return.
And so, on to my twenties, basically more of the same. Drinking, getting high, always holding down a job and basically keeping my life in order. Got married at 26, bought a house, first son at 27, everything going pretty well. On the outside everthing was great, but on the inside warning signs were popping up. I had always been a near-daily pot smoker. But my alcohol usage was steadily increasing, especially in frequency.
At 30 years old, I had something of an awakening and decided to give up the weed. It bothered my wife more than the drinking and was less socially acceptable. Wasn't too hard, and then six months later I decided to quit the booze. Again, wasn't that bad. 6 months clean and my life was very good. I felt great.
Ah, but this is of course not the end of the story. Like many others, I started thinking "a couple of beers won't kill me." My how quickly my daily drinking habit returned, worse than ever. I cruised along for a while, had another stint with the pot, even a brief run with painkillers, then things really started going downhill. Weekdays became work, go home, drink till bed. Weekends became getting up, two cups of coffee, drink till bed.
With three kids and a wife active in youth sports, etc., the facade was getting very hard to keep up. Try coaching a youth soccer team on Sunday afternoons after 8 or more drinks. Surely people were noticing.
My body was also starting to take a beating. I have always been in great shape, high capacity for work, high energy. Feeling anxious, irritable, nauteous, and weak is not something easy for me to take. Also my mind was slipping, not able to quickly remember names, etc. It also gets to be very expensive to drink constantly.
What kind of example am I setting for my kids? Do I want them to think it is normal to drink all day every day? Surely they will eventually realize that I am a drunk.
Well, the time has come to put an end to this. I had what I hope was my last drink two nights ago. Got through yesterday, and so far today. God help me.
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