Something I wanted to write

[Doggygirl]

Something I wanted to write

Hi Londoner. Congratulations on your success! It was quite inspirational to read your story today. I am looking forward to experiencing the wonders of 100 days AF - and beyond. I'm happy for you that you have been able to drink a little, than get back to AF without spinning out of control for weeks and months. Finding what works is the key!

Anyway...you have given me VERY postive words for today - my first AF day since last November. Thank you so much for sharing!

DG
*

[The Londoner]

Something I wanted to write

Doggy Girl

I am so pleased to hear from you! you were one of the people who kept me going (bigtime) on the 30 day thread when I started out at MWO! I was actually thinking about you last week, wondering how you were and here you are!

keep coming back to us, won't you?

reicherrty

please tell me my spelling errors! welcome aboard!

living free

keep living free! 70 days AF is more than brilliant! come back and talk to me as you keep adding the 10s!


love to you all and more ruminations later-hey it's St Patrick's weekend here in london town so gotta go celebrate! sober of course, well that's the plan!

Anna:h

[Kayla]

Something I wanted to write

Anna,

Just had to reply, even though now it's March, and you posted this in Feb. I was on a 30 day abstinence thread with you a few months back. Unlike you, who carried on abstaining, I succumbed and slipped back into drinking. I am now back on track and going for 'predominant abstinence'. I thought I was kidding myself till I read your mail. Your story had a huge impact on me, and like so many of the others who replied to your thread, I feel inspired in a whole new way.

It is possible. We can do it. You're living proof. Thanks for taking the time out to share your thoughts in such an insightful way ...

Kayla (prev Kyna)

[indiamike57]

Something I wanted to write

Anna -

What a great post...and I am glad it resurfaced for others (like me) to see.

Erin

[The Londoner]

Something I wanted to write

Hullo Kayla and Everyone!

Kayla;297135 wrote: Anna,

I am now back on track and going for 'predominant abstinence'.

It is possible. We can do it. You're living proof. Thanks for taking the time out to share your thoughts in such an insightful way ...

Kayla (prev Kyna)

Kayla, great to hear from you and I just love your phrase going for 'predominant abstinence'.

Hi too Erin/India Mike-how's it going?


Time for me to totally abstain for a wee while as I enjoyed Easter eating and drinking but want to stop now to look good,feel good and lose a coupla pounds! Dropped 21 pounds during 3 months AF, so here's looking at losing 2 lbs per week!!

So! After a period of social drinking, I am now gonna have a fortnight without alcohol, and then review the situation when I get 2 weeks holiday from April 7. Reckon I might well chalk up another 30 days, but for the moment 2 weeks is a good goal.

love to everyone, keep saying hullo, it is really nice to know you are there! And doing good!

Anna:h:h

[Prest4time]

Something I wanted to write

I too am very grateful to have stumbled upon this thread today.... I need to hear the details about how it is to go AF for a long time. It helps me. Some people do not want all the details, but I do.

I want to know what to expect, what is normal... riding the waves of emotions, etc. And to see you and others come out on the other side is incredibly inspiring. I realize its a battle forever, but I think a big key is to change your thought process. I picked up on that from all that you shared.

Thank you,
P4T

[marli99]

Something I wanted to write

Anna, thank you so very much... i often dont read posts to the very end but yours just took my breath away.... I dont know what im going to do with this new insight and information about going AF and drinking occassionally, but i can say my head is spinning and in a good way... you have given me something to really think about tonight.... thank you x

[4theboyz]

Something I wanted to write

Anna,

Good luck with your "fortnight" - sounds like a long time?! When I started I had no idea how long I would or could or had to stop drinking. I quickly realized it needed to be for at least a "while". After one week, I saw the positive changes it made in such a short amount of time I pressed on. Each day brought so much more joy, positive feelings, real emotions back into my life and now after 38 days, I just want to keep going! Keep us posted on your progress! :h

[The Londoner]

Something I wanted to write

An Update from Anna

Hi It's Anna here, just saying hello to all those who truly understand!

I needed to re-read this post from February as things haven't been so good recently on the drinking front and I need to remind myself of what my life can be like. Suffice to say, it is time The Londoner took a walk down the AF road once more, as she has been too often down the wrong path of late and is feeling upset about that.

I have re-read my own posting to remind myself of what is possible.
I feel re-energised and re-focused. There is so much to re-gain here.
I publically commit to a much needed period of 30 days AF.
I look forward to the support and encouragement from all the wonderful people here. I haven't been around much lately, but I intend to return regularly over the next month.

Be well, my friends.

Anna:h

The Londoner;268547 wrote: This is something I have wanted to write for some time, so here goes!

In September 2007, I decided that it was crucial for me to stop drinking so I embarked on a 30 day period of AF. The 30 days became 60 and I kept right on going until I had notched up more than 100 days, in fact I had nearly 4 months without alcohol. To put this in its rightful context, my life had been governed by alcohol for the previous 35 years. Okay, I had not been a heavy drinker for all of those years, but I drank enough. More than enough. A lot has already been written here about the descent into that dark hole, so I am not going to go there. Instead the purpose of this post is to share my AF experiences with everyone here at MWO.

I had done some periods of AF before coming here, but this felt different. It came after a big health scare in the summer, not necessarily related to alcohol consumption, but scary enough to make me take stock and appraise my lifestyle. The result of that evaluation showed all too clearly that I had to kick the drinking habit, so deeply embedded in my day to day existence. My back was to the wall.

So, being me, I chose to go cold turkey and I chose the hardest way possible to woman! I went on an extreme detox. To say the first month of AF was hard is, my friends, an understatement. It was excruciating but I am a stubborn individual, and once I had made up my mind, that was it, this was my way out. So I did it with the help of a totally healthy diet and Solgar mutivits, and of course I spent a lot of time here at MWO! That was it for me, as well as a determined mindset. I persuaded myself I had no other choice, this was life or death in all its definition. If I continued drinking habitually and mindlessly, I might as well be dead. If I continued drinking in this way, I would die prematurely and probably slowly and nastily.

So I wrestled with the downsides of the early stages of AF, rested through the constant tiredness, rode the swell and bursts of anger that visited unexpectedly and all too often, eschewed those friends who drank and banned alcohol from my home for 30 days. My husband knew in his heart this was the only way forward for me, but that does not mean it was easy for us as a couple. It was actually impossible at times and as he continued to drink, he did so privately until the day dawned that I was okay around people drinking alcohol. So the impossible became possible once more. I began to explore the notion of moderate drinking, whilst staying firmly AF. Because after 30 days, boy does it get easier! The fact that I no longer thought about ?needing? a drink coupled with a palpable fear of slipping back into my old ways kept me going for another 30 days. 60 days! I then read somewhere on MWO (thank you so much, whoever you are!) that after 90 days, your body is free of alcohol. I had a month before Christmas, I felt strong, I had the support here at MWO, I still had The Fear, so?..I got there! 90 days. And still enough time before the festive season to chalk up 100.

100+ days AF. When I got there, I looked back from within new self, complete with changed body chemistry and then and only then, did I feel really really proud of myself. I loved reaching 30 days, it felt amazing, I was reborn. But this was different. I was changed forever.

What came next? A return to drinking came next, and this is really why I am telling my story. I was terrified. With my track record, could I moderate? It looked highly unlikely. So, I devised a plan. The moment I felt that I was returning to my old ways, making one bottle of wine insufficient and cracking open a second bottle, I would stop and go straight back to AF. I would do this at the first warning sign. End of story.

Not quite. I drank over Christmas and it was fine. I stayed sober and drank little in comparison to my previous drinking lifestyle. I enjoyed drinking, as I made sure I kept away from cheap chemical ridden wines. I actually tasted the wine and had respect for it. Yes! This was how I wanted things to be. After about a month of drinking, it got to mid-January, and I had nagging thoughts. Not enough AF days. Intake creeping up, still manageable, but worrying.
So I planned to stop and on Monday Jan 21, I posted my plan. I was going AF for 30 days minimum. On the same Monday at work, we were given notice that we were being inspected on Thurs of the same week. It was like a bombshell and took us all by surprise. We were forced to work overtime and you could have scooped the tension off the walls and eaten it with a spoon. It was a truly horrible week. So, how did this effect my new resolve, my plan to go AF? On the Monday, I did not drink. On the Tuesday I did not drink. On the Wednesday I drank. Thursday I drank. Friday I drank. Saturday? Yep, I drank. Sunday? I drank.

On Monday, life had returned to normal. We came out of the inspection with flying colours. I returned to my plan on Monday 28 January and have been AF ever since.

And this is the other reason why I write to you today.
When you commit yourself to AF-and you have to give yourself to it body and soul, 100%-I really recommend staying AF for as long as you possibly can, first time around. This is my second time AF and this is how it is for me:

I do not drink. It is as simple as that.
I do not count the days.
I eat a lot!
I drink water all the time.
I rest a lot.
I work hard.
I play hard.
My brain is sharp.
I achieve much more.
I demand much more, from myself, from others.
My emotions are steady.
I am happy most of the time.
I do not count the days.
I live life to the full.
I love life.
I am confident.
I love people and make new friends all the time.
I am no longer dead.
I am alive.

Those few who know me very well say they admire me for my determination to kick the habit of heavy daily drinking and support me all the way. To tell you the truth, I am now proud of myself and have never been happier inside my own skin. I have found the courage to stand up and be counted as a fully functioning human being and I am grabbing the most amazing opportunities.I look better-some kind souls say I look 10 years younger! I feel immensely better. It is like another person has taken control of my life and that person is the real me! I have experienced this and it is better than I ever thought possible. To go back to my former self would be intolerable. I will be vigilant and I will be strong.

Will I drink again? Good question. I am committed to AF until I get through an emotional journey to the West of Ireland in early March. I need all the strength I can muster for that particular journey. That said, I might make an exception and share a bottle of champagne with my husband on Valentine?s Day. We have grown closer since my transformation, although he freely admits he is jealous of my successes of late! And there again, I might not drink on Valentine?s Day. It?s my choice, my decision after all, when all is said and done. On thing I know for certain. From now on, I will continue to dedicate myself to my new habit- daily reinforcing the belief that my life will be governed by regular long stretches of AF and not controlled by daily doses of alcohol. I am going to hijack and haunt my thoughts! The re-programming is ongoing. No room for complacency in this house.

My ultimate goal has already been defined here at MWO. Whoever said, "I am a non-drinker who enjoys a drink sometimes"-I'm with you, that too is my goal, thank you for giving me the words.

I wish you all well from the bottom of my heart.

I am living proof that the absolutely impossible is actually possible!

Once again, please don't think I am complacent about all this, I know how hard it is to get to this better place, this special sunny garden of sobriety. It is a walled garden and I know how vigilant and mindful I need to be to stay within its walls.

,
Could I have done this without MWO?
Happily, the answer is irrelevant. I did it and I did it with the amazing people here at MWO.

Thank you for reading.

Thank you for making this possible.

I love you all.
:h Anna:h

[Janice]

Something I wanted to write

Anna, you and your story are such an inspiration to myself and many here on MWO. I know you can turn things around and get yourself back on that AF path again........stay close to us and post regularly!!

love Janicexxx

[boozehag]

Something I wanted to write

Dia dhuit Aine
Thanks for bumping that up. Its given me some timely inspiration - just coming up to 60 days (end of the month) and today was starting to get a bit ambivalent about being AF free. Now after reading that I am refocused on keeping going for June.
Go raibh mile maith agut.
BH (dont know what booze hag is in irish!)

[The Londoner]

Something I wanted to write

Thanks Janice and Boozehag

I really appreciated you taking the time to reply and I look forward to reading your posts/threads to keep up with your stories and challenges and successes-
Janice are you AFing at the moment? I will look to your posts for some inspiration!
Brilliant boozehag on those 60 days, do go on, ah do! Youll be turning 90 before you know it! Think I'll hitch me a ride on your AF wagon! Nice too to see a wee bit of the 'gaeilge' here at MWO! Mine is limited to schoolgirl level oh so long ago, but here's one for you stuama any guesses? yep that's right, it means SOBER


Anna:l

[Cinders]

Something I wanted to write

Anna,

Thank you for the first post and thank you for bumping this back up.

I am grateful that you recognize when the use is creeping up insidiously back into your life and are ready to stomp it back down. Especially since it sounds like you have done this before it tightened its surly grip on you.

You are right. We must always stay vigilant with this.

I look forward to seeing you again on the threads and getting yourself back to that wonderful place you found yourself in before.

Cindi

[The Londoner]

Something I wanted to write

Thank You Cindi. Very much. I am getting reacquainted with an amazing bunch of people and I really appreciate the opportunity to participate here at MWO, so big thanks too to RJ, without whom etc

I've just spent a while in my rain-sodden garden and I loved seeing the refreshed plants and storing the excess rainwater- I feel a bit like that too already! As in feeling refreshed, that is. In coming here, I feel such energy and encouragement and mutual respect and understanding for what we are all trying to do on a daily basis - overcome an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. There is simply nowhere else like this, in my experience.

wishing the best for you Cindi and for all reading this, hope you are having a special day in your very own way. Lots of nice people here enjoying important milestones, well done Janice and Finding!

I'm off to treat myself to an amazing lunch!

Anna
:h

[Finding My Self]

Something I wanted to write

Bon Appetit Anna! Thanks for all your catch up news.....YOU CAN DO THIS! I'll be here looking on and cheering!

And thanks for the positive view on my rain-bashed plants.......!!!! Even on their sides, lying in the grass, , they are beautiful and the pearly droplets ARE stunning!!

Catch up later!
FMS xx