What if one is afraid to not drink?

[bootcampbarbie]

What if one is afraid to not drink?

hart honey i just wanted you to know that i am sending you big love. the past has been such a challange for you and i know the future holds so much beauty. i used the sedona method for a good amount of things as well as alot of transformational work like the landmark forum. and well there is a day that one can say good bye and shut that door and be complete so that it isn't in the now. but for right now i'm just sending you so much joy and love all packed up in one big hug. bb

[MyOwnWoman]

What if one is afraid to not drink?

Hey Hon, only just now saw this thread.
You know I've had hell to overcome too. And all I can tell you - is that facing feelings, and the fear of those feelings, is not nearly as scary as we make it out to be. It is really quite liberating. For me I realized that I was holding on to the fear as a protective cloak. Once I got into the fibers of it ... well, it wasn't jack shit. Just a bunch of stuff in my head. Thoughts. And thoughts are nothing when we stand up with our Soul and decide that our True essence, our spirit, will determine what we do with our lives, our days, our moments.

You're a tough one. You can do it. Face the fear head on and I'm sure you'll realize as I did that it was just an illusion your ego made up so it could be in control. Neither your ego, nor your fear, nor your pain nor memories, are who you are.

You are made of fine stuff, and the rest is garbage you can toss off if you muster up the courage to get your hands dirty for awhile cleaning up the mess. Beneath all the garbage is the wonders of you, the wonders of life, the wonders of hope.

[Determinatrix]

What if one is afraid to not drink?

Hart - Thank you for sharing your story and letting us get to know you better.
You are very smart and funny - and Our Designated Thread Exterminator.

Let's say you have an allergy to peanuts and when you eat them you get hives.
The doctor can prescribe cream to help with the hives.
But better would be to diagnose the allergy and not to eat peanuts anymore.

If you deal with the direct issue of your fears, does the symptom of overdrinking possibly disappear, or maybe become easier to handle?
I know it is more complicated - habits, damaged tissues, re-trainig the brain, genes, etc.
But if alcohol is a coping mechanism for the bad stuff in life, and you deal with the bad stuff, do we need that coping mechanism anymore?

Just thinking out loud. Forgive me, as I know I will never truly understand.

I like your quote in your signature - Courage can be the small voice that says try again.

:h Dx

[Determinator]

What if one is afraid to not drink?

my dear Hart, what an engaging and thought provoking thread. couple observations here:

first, since you have had years of counseling I'm sure that you've already probed the dark painful places in your memory quite a bit, so being AF shouldn't be a total shock to your mind. still a shock...yes.

and secondly when it comes to facing up to life and not numbing it anymore at least for me it was more a matter of I really missed life. I was in a numbed state for so long that I craved my real life back again...painful or not. the fact that such a radical change of lifestyle is like a "bootcamp' of sorts is actually good in my opinion. sometimes we need a shock to the system after years of doing the same thing.

remember the first time you finally jumped off the high dive in school swimming? at first you were terrified, shaking etc. then when you finally did it you become full of endorphins and want to immediately do it again.

I think what you need is to look forward to the discomfort and the unknown. work yourself into a burning desire to have this change and jump in with both feet. The best way to ward off an enemy is to stare them down.

ok, done rambling.

XXXXXXXX Hart

[hart]

What if one is afraid to not drink?

(((TL, Barbie, MOW, Det, Detx)))

Thanx for all the caring, thoughtful post. I'm giving AF a try again Monday. Joe is going thru this depression stuff and he's stopped working. Taking his leave time but I'm worried he will not go to work Monday. I'll have to shoot him then. :bat or just give him a thorough thrashing...... I hate being helpless when it comes to reaching him. Detx would understand, at times, eh? If Joe loses his job I can't afford to support us both, not with the child support. Hmmm, maybe that's a solution, if he's in jail he won't be drinking and I can get sober......hmmmm, liking it more. Would they allow conjugal visits though...that would be the deal breaker......

Anyway, thanx :l

[Chief]

What if one is afraid to not drink?

Hart...I just saw this thread...very strong of you to post...

I think the real issue with quitting drinking IS dealing with life and all it's emotions sober...It's a learning process....it's an experience to go through to learn more about yourself...it's a ride..

I've said this before, but for me, the pain of drinking became worse than the pain of quitting...

That's when I knew I had to quit. Not try. Not mod. Quit.

You are one of my favorite people here...you know that....you're a smart, funny, good looking, strong women who can easily put drinking aside once you put your mind to it....that is without question.

So you just have to sort it out and decide when you want to stop "trying" and, instead, make a "no turning back committment" to just do it..

I'll do whatever I can to help...I can even fly to Wash. for some 1 on 1 support if Joe gets put in the Big House....

We're all here for you, Hart....

Don

[hart]

What if one is afraid to not drink?

Woah, if Don comes here why do I need conjugal visits, eh?

Thanx hon. I told Joe I was going AF Monday, with or without him and whatever he decided don't buy me beer, because if he did I was going to chuck it in the trash. He seemed stunned by that........'cause I'm so cheap.....:H

[Chief]

What if one is afraid to not drink?

I think that's great, Hart...now stick to it and throw it in the trash if he brings it home....

You have to show him you've made up your mind....don't waver.

Hope you have a great weekend....think about Monday...look forward to it....get yourself pumped up about going AF and stopping the train..

Don

[Doggygirl]

What if one is afraid to not drink?

Hi Hart! Wow there are so many wise people here it's amazing. I don't really have any sage advice to offer, but I DO want to root for you in your question to become AF. I hope you have a very good AF day today!

I love the fact that even during a trying time, you don't lose your wonderful sense of humor. I was :H about the notion of conjugal visits and then double :H at your comment about our beloved Chief!!

Go for it! (AF that is...not conjugals with with Chief!)
DG
Day 11 AF
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