:new: Wow! To wake up this morning not hungover is wonderful!!! My second day AF. I found this site yesterday through desperation. I have had it! I am sooooooo over this disease.
I read alot of your stories yesterday and i related to everyone of them in some way. I hope to god that everyone can help me stay sober and I can help in the same way.
I feel that I have to share a little of my story...I am a very private person so AA is out! Nobody would have a clue what I suffer not even my boyfriend he knows I drink to much though. My father maybe a little but not to the full extent because I lie about it when he does ask me about the booze. He has been sober over 30 years now he was a very sick man when he did drink but he has won the battle. I thought I had one as well...not so.
I had my first drink in my teens, started goning to AA at age 19 stopped drinking for 8 YEARS!!! Picked up again at 29 and have not stopped for 15 years. Well, I did stop for 11 months, next time 3 months, next time, 3 weeks and so. on I think everyone can relate.
I now wake up 5 out of 7 mornings feeling like a bus has run over me!! My calf muscles ache, my head feels like its going to blow up I feel sick, no energy and the GUILT!!
I cannot even remember most nights after 7 oclock. It's not that I fall down or cannot speak I just cannot remember. I wake up and think (what the hell did I watch on TV, did I have a fight with my boyfriend?) and so on it is horrible. I pick up the tv progamme at times the next morning just to see if I can remember anything. Sometimes I watch the clock the next day till it reaches 12 then I have a drink just to make me feel better.Wine is my drug of choice. I cannot even drive the next day my head is to fuzzy and i'm to jumpy.I miss work...lucky I only work partime. I still function, I dont look like a have a problem, I'm healthy, fit and have a job in the health industry (what a joke) I have my own home and beautiful garden. I'm so scared of what I am doing to my liver, kidneys and my nervous system. I want my life back and to smell the fresh air in the mornings..I use to love the mornings! I use to jump out of bed put my runners on and... go I want that back I WILL have that back!! My father always asks (how is the booze going?..just watch it, it has claws and it can grab you without you even being aware) Well i am aware those claws have grabbed me. But not yesterday or today.. maybe not tomorrow. Lets just be hopeful. Thanks for listening.:thanks:
I read alot of your stories yesterday and i related to everyone of them in some way. I hope to god that everyone can help me stay sober and I can help in the same way.
I feel that I have to share a little of my story...I am a very private person so AA is out! Nobody would have a clue what I suffer not even my boyfriend he knows I drink to much though. My father maybe a little but not to the full extent because I lie about it when he does ask me about the booze. He has been sober over 30 years now he was a very sick man when he did drink but he has won the battle. I thought I had one as well...not so.
I had my first drink in my teens, started goning to AA at age 19 stopped drinking for 8 YEARS!!! Picked up again at 29 and have not stopped for 15 years. Well, I did stop for 11 months, next time 3 months, next time, 3 weeks and so. on I think everyone can relate.
I now wake up 5 out of 7 mornings feeling like a bus has run over me!! My calf muscles ache, my head feels like its going to blow up I feel sick, no energy and the GUILT!!
I cannot even remember most nights after 7 oclock. It's not that I fall down or cannot speak I just cannot remember. I wake up and think (what the hell did I watch on TV, did I have a fight with my boyfriend?) and so on it is horrible. I pick up the tv progamme at times the next morning just to see if I can remember anything. Sometimes I watch the clock the next day till it reaches 12 then I have a drink just to make me feel better.Wine is my drug of choice. I cannot even drive the next day my head is to fuzzy and i'm to jumpy.I miss work...lucky I only work partime. I still function, I dont look like a have a problem, I'm healthy, fit and have a job in the health industry (what a joke) I have my own home and beautiful garden. I'm so scared of what I am doing to my liver, kidneys and my nervous system. I want my life back and to smell the fresh air in the mornings..I use to love the mornings! I use to jump out of bed put my runners on and... go I want that back I WILL have that back!! My father always asks (how is the booze going?..just watch it, it has claws and it can grab you without you even being aware) Well i am aware those claws have grabbed me. But not yesterday or today.. maybe not tomorrow. Lets just be hopeful. Thanks for listening.:thanks:
ray:
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