I had in many cases an idealistic childhood, I followed my parents around the world and experienced so much that I feel privileged to have encountered - good, bad & ugly. The Ex-Pat lifestyle was a work hard / play hard balance with drinking, smoking and socialising being a crucial part of the equation. I had no formal education before 9 as Mum taught me at home ? then off to boarding school in the UK. (Not a good experience!) My parents came up with this wonderful idea that as girls, my sister and I should experience and understand the effects of AL in a safe environment so that when we were older and if our drinks were ?spiked? we would know. So 12 onwards gave access to wine and beer, on occasions. My first blackout / AL poisoning was the last day of the holidays when I was 14. Sick as a dog the next day I was shipped out of Uganda onto a plane back to school. Ooooooh ? seriously bad flight!! Binge drinking to oblivion took me through my teens and a suicide attempt at 17.
AL has always been there ? sometimes a bigger crutch than others!!
In her infinite wisdom, Mother Nature blessed me with horrific morning sickness so the question of AL and pregnancy was thankfully removed from my hands! I had a late miscarriage with the first, which was tough with all the emotional stuff that goes with it and then had a breakdown 3 months later. I tried various holistic / natural / spiritual resources over the next 5 years to assist with the depression. Eventually I gave up and went the pharmaceutical route of ADs.
Now, 3 years later with 2 years of seriously out of control drinking, decisions have been made. I can?t go on like this!!!!!
So, 18 of the last 20 days have been AF ? not consecutively, but next to 0 days AF last year, pretty good. With some clarity with me now, I am coming off the ADs and hope I can maintain some equilibrium. My girls need me!!! I need me!!!! I thnk that my marriage is over, I have been hiding from feeling anything for too long ? not sure if it?s me feeling dead, or the marriage??? but hopefully time and clean living with show me the right road to travel.
Thanks for listening.
Take care
xxx
AL has always been there ? sometimes a bigger crutch than others!!
In her infinite wisdom, Mother Nature blessed me with horrific morning sickness so the question of AL and pregnancy was thankfully removed from my hands! I had a late miscarriage with the first, which was tough with all the emotional stuff that goes with it and then had a breakdown 3 months later. I tried various holistic / natural / spiritual resources over the next 5 years to assist with the depression. Eventually I gave up and went the pharmaceutical route of ADs.
Now, 3 years later with 2 years of seriously out of control drinking, decisions have been made. I can?t go on like this!!!!!
So, 18 of the last 20 days have been AF ? not consecutively, but next to 0 days AF last year, pretty good. With some clarity with me now, I am coming off the ADs and hope I can maintain some equilibrium. My girls need me!!! I need me!!!! I thnk that my marriage is over, I have been hiding from feeling anything for too long ? not sure if it?s me feeling dead, or the marriage??? but hopefully time and clean living with show me the right road to travel.
Thanks for listening.
Take care
xxx
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