I thought I'd share this because it came up in chat a little bit last night...and I know he'd want me to share it here..
If you ever wonder if you're doing the right thing... if you ever feel like having a drink or binging to make everything go away... think about this story, because this is how it can end...
My brother lived mostly a very troubled life.. some abuse at the hands of my dad as a kid and into 'pot' as a teenager, heavy. He was a VEry warm and friendly guy, almost everyone liked him. He became a 'drunk' as an adult.. He was my big brother. A great big brother, always protective, always concerned, even when he was drunk.
He was almost 16 (a month shy) when the first accident happened. Back then, the drinking age here was 18. He passed for 18 easily with his long hair and mustache. He and 3 friends went up to Lookout Mtn to Sam's, a 3.2% bar. Of course they got hammered. THey came down the back way, with his best friend Mike driving, who was 17. Two other guys in the back seat. THey hit a curve going God only knows how fast... My brother was in the hospital for a month with two broken legs, crushed face (he was now half made of metal with plates and pins). He had his 16th birthday in the hospital. Mike was killed in the accident. THe other two in the back walked away.
One day on his way to work (he worked at the same lumber yard as my day) at the age of 21, somehow he got shot in the stomach. Drove himself to the hospital and collapsed in the ER as he walked in... he lived.
He was married and had two kids that my SIL was told she would never had. He loved those kids... dam he loved to see them laugh, play...
DUring the course of his drinking adulthood, he had been beaten up behind a bar with baseball bats, and countless other 'little' incidents. He was also permantently disabled from the first car accident.
Mostly he walked around with a pint in his inside pocket. Almost always was so blasted, it was sure he was in 'blackout' mode. His eyes were open but no one was home.
At one point, he got a DUI (I'm not sure how many he had) and was put on mandatory antabuse. He did okay for a week I think. THen he was drinking Heavily on the antabuse, and proud of it! Most of the family didn't realize what this would do to his liver, but of course everyone was powerless to do anything about it.
He did check himself into a rehab some time later and loved it... he said it was like a spa. He stayed sober for one year. And of course as this disease goes, it's progressive, so when he started in again, he eventually surpassed what he had been drinking before.
Longer story less long... at the age of 38 he had an apartment, he and his wife were separated and his 3rd grade son lived with him. He was on disability so he could start drinking first thing in the morning, when my nephew went to school. He started caretaking a neighbor lady who was about dead from cancer. SHe had no one else. One morning, they started drinking early as usual. My dad happened to drive by the apts and saw him walking away from the bus stop where my nephew had just been picked up. THat was the last time he saw him alive.
I'm at work later that day... get a call from my dad.... "THere's an apt fire on the news, and it looks like Kevins!!!".. OMG... It was. Went to my parents. After I pulled in, my dad runs in the house, hysterical. My brother was dead. and so was the other lady. The fire had engulfed the entire building, the stairs to his apt were no longer there..
It was determined the fire started in her apartment by a cigarette that fell behind a couch. My brother had passed out before he even knew there was a fire... Some said they saw people in the window of the apartment but the fire department ws on the other side of the building, and had been told no one was inside. At any rate, my brother was dead at the age of 38. If he'd been sober, he probably would have gotten out. It was a BIG funeral.. he was loved.
I think the real kicker is that I found out after the fire that he had severe liver disease from having drank so heavy on antabuse. He would have died anyway, it seemed. My dad told me privately the night he died that he had almost expected that call for the last 20 years.. He had lived with the fear of hearing his son was dead in some accident because it was always something...
This is a reminder of how this can end (for me as much as anyone else). I hope we can all take to heart that this disease can end in DEATH... accidents as much as health issues.
If you ever wonder if you're doing the right thing... if you ever feel like having a drink or binging to make everything go away... think about this story, because this is how it can end...
My brother lived mostly a very troubled life.. some abuse at the hands of my dad as a kid and into 'pot' as a teenager, heavy. He was a VEry warm and friendly guy, almost everyone liked him. He became a 'drunk' as an adult.. He was my big brother. A great big brother, always protective, always concerned, even when he was drunk.
He was almost 16 (a month shy) when the first accident happened. Back then, the drinking age here was 18. He passed for 18 easily with his long hair and mustache. He and 3 friends went up to Lookout Mtn to Sam's, a 3.2% bar. Of course they got hammered. THey came down the back way, with his best friend Mike driving, who was 17. Two other guys in the back seat. THey hit a curve going God only knows how fast... My brother was in the hospital for a month with two broken legs, crushed face (he was now half made of metal with plates and pins). He had his 16th birthday in the hospital. Mike was killed in the accident. THe other two in the back walked away.
One day on his way to work (he worked at the same lumber yard as my day) at the age of 21, somehow he got shot in the stomach. Drove himself to the hospital and collapsed in the ER as he walked in... he lived.
He was married and had two kids that my SIL was told she would never had. He loved those kids... dam he loved to see them laugh, play...
DUring the course of his drinking adulthood, he had been beaten up behind a bar with baseball bats, and countless other 'little' incidents. He was also permantently disabled from the first car accident.
Mostly he walked around with a pint in his inside pocket. Almost always was so blasted, it was sure he was in 'blackout' mode. His eyes were open but no one was home.
At one point, he got a DUI (I'm not sure how many he had) and was put on mandatory antabuse. He did okay for a week I think. THen he was drinking Heavily on the antabuse, and proud of it! Most of the family didn't realize what this would do to his liver, but of course everyone was powerless to do anything about it.
He did check himself into a rehab some time later and loved it... he said it was like a spa. He stayed sober for one year. And of course as this disease goes, it's progressive, so when he started in again, he eventually surpassed what he had been drinking before.
Longer story less long... at the age of 38 he had an apartment, he and his wife were separated and his 3rd grade son lived with him. He was on disability so he could start drinking first thing in the morning, when my nephew went to school. He started caretaking a neighbor lady who was about dead from cancer. SHe had no one else. One morning, they started drinking early as usual. My dad happened to drive by the apts and saw him walking away from the bus stop where my nephew had just been picked up. THat was the last time he saw him alive.
I'm at work later that day... get a call from my dad.... "THere's an apt fire on the news, and it looks like Kevins!!!".. OMG... It was. Went to my parents. After I pulled in, my dad runs in the house, hysterical. My brother was dead. and so was the other lady. The fire had engulfed the entire building, the stairs to his apt were no longer there..
It was determined the fire started in her apartment by a cigarette that fell behind a couch. My brother had passed out before he even knew there was a fire... Some said they saw people in the window of the apartment but the fire department ws on the other side of the building, and had been told no one was inside. At any rate, my brother was dead at the age of 38. If he'd been sober, he probably would have gotten out. It was a BIG funeral.. he was loved.
I think the real kicker is that I found out after the fire that he had severe liver disease from having drank so heavy on antabuse. He would have died anyway, it seemed. My dad told me privately the night he died that he had almost expected that call for the last 20 years.. He had lived with the fear of hearing his son was dead in some accident because it was always something...
This is a reminder of how this can end (for me as much as anyone else). I hope we can all take to heart that this disease can end in DEATH... accidents as much as health issues.
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