Very unsure but determined

[PoppyLittle]

:new:

Helllo I too am new to this, I have been reading everyones stories and am feeling blessed that I have found this site, I am hopeful that I can kick this AL habit.

I too am a professional person, I have a beautiful daughter who I have brought up alone since she was 5 years old, she is now 27. I too used to drink as soon as she went to bed and now that she has moved to the city I am free to run to the fridge at 5 o'clock. I am lucky in that I work from home but that also has its disadvantages as the fridge is very accessible, I am proud to say that I do not drink at all during the day but at 5 o'clock I have a wine and go outside to look after my horses and dogs, mow lawns etc etc all with a glass in my hand. I call it my reward for a hard days work! But I am now drinking a bottle a day and am finding it harder and harder to get out of bed and function in the morning and cope with the day. So I must stop at least during the week and hopefully moderate on the weekend.

Today will be my first AF day, one step at a time. I look forward to hearing from some of you.

Poppy

[Bandit]

Very unsure but determined

Welcome!

Hi Poppylittle,
Love your name!
:welcome:
I have been around since March and don't always post but I do read a lot of them. They do help.
I too am a professional person and I now work from home. I have two small kids but they are out for most of the morning. In some ways working from home is harder than going out to work as I am on my own for quite a part of the day and the day seems a lot longer. In other ways it is easier as I don't get as pent up as I used to at work and then go racing to the frig at 6pm as soon as I got in the door!
I am now at a stage where I just do not drink Monday - Thursday wheras I used to drink at least a bottle of wine a night. My problem now is trying not to overdo it at the weekend -big weakness is to have a 'glass' in the afternoon and before I know it the whole bottle is gone before it is even evening time.
Anyway, I would love to able to moderate better rather than to give up completely but this is an argument that has been going on in my head for some time now. Everyone advises to go AF for 30 days and then take it from there. However so far I have just managed two weeks AF. However, I am ready to try again (day 2 AF today) - now is a good time for me. I have very little work on my plate for the next few weeks, no big meetings/presentations so nothing major to stress me out too much and my kids will still be at school until the end of June (which helps! - not sure how I am going to occupy them all summer - my first summer not working full-time!).
Anyway, good luck on your own journey - there are lots of people here that have done really well and can offer really good advice.
Best Wishes,
Bandit

[4theboyz]

Very unsure but determined

Hello Poppy,

You have stated you feel blessed to have found this site which implies to me you are struggling a bit. It sounds as though you have some soul searching to do to better figure out what is driving your love affair with AL.

You mentioned how the wine is your reward for the hard work you do and I would start there in finding a reward to replace the wine and that particular routine. Break away somehow, go for a walk, read a book, join a club, something other than to sit down for a glass of wine. Identify those triggers and turning them off one by one will greatly reduce the pressure you may feel to drink.

Good luck!

[Muddle]

Very unsure but determined

I can totally relate. I was drinking close to a bottle of wine a night, sometimes the whole bottle-plus--poured the first glass the moment I stepped in the door from work and then couldn't stop. Like you, I figured I deserved to relax after working hard all day. Then I stumbled to bed and woke up about 2 am with a raging headache, took aspirin, woke up again feeling horrible. It is so much better waking up after an AF evening!!

I so relate to your story, Bandit. Sometimes on a Sunday morning, I would open a bottle of sparkling wine [doesn't seem like really drinking ] it's kind of like a Mimosa at brunch without the orange juice, right? And you only get a little buzz with champagne, not really drunk. yeah, right. Then the whole bottle would be gone before I knew it.

I, too, hope to moderate. I know 30 days is the recommendation, but as a first step it sounded so long that when someone on this website said "How about if us newbies go for 14 days?" I thought "I can do that." I am on Day 11. If I do moderate after Day 14 it will only be if I am out with someone--I don't want to drink at home, because I know that's when it gets out of control. So, by virtue of that I may stay AF longer than 14 days.

Best wishes to you both, PoppyLittle and Bandit.

[cpn1004]

Very unsure but determined

Poppy and Bandit,
I work from a home office too. Right now I don't have any pressing projects so the temptation is to have a beer early in the afternoon while working on the computer. No harm, right? Of course that one beer leads to 9 or 12 and then feel like crap the next morning. I need to put 30 AF days together and see where that leads. Today is day one again.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[Bandit]

Very unsure but determined

Hi Phil,
I know how you feel about the afternoon beer (or more likely wine in my case) or maybe having a drink after getting a piece of work done as a 'reward'. It is amazing how I can kid myself into believing that I will actually have just one - this has never happened so far in my life to date (after 20 years of drinking) so why on earth would I think that a miracle is about to happen in my own kitchen!
I just cannot have booze in the house during the week or I will drink it.
I am still drinking at weekends, sometimes to excess - once I start I find it so hard to stop, usually keep going until I fall asleep or feel near to sleep. Wake up feeling like crap of course. I so need to do at least 30 days AF and then make a choice - moderate or AF (I think deep down I already have known the answer to this question for a long time). I have managed 14 AF days in a row to date and then binge city. I am on day two after a slip on Tuesday evening - no booze in house but a neighbour dropped in a bottle of wine as a thanks for babysitting and of course myself and my husband drank it.
Back to the starting blocks again for me!
Best Wishes,
Bandit