I have never been happy. I had a wretched childhood (hasn't everyone?) and was physically abused by my mother. I have suffered from major depression my entire life, and have been on zoloft, prozac, and some other antidepressants, but around the age of 22 I found something else that worked a lot better. I'm sure you can guess what that is.
My first problem occured in 2000. I went to a party, had a lot to drink, and did the responsible thing and spent the night, instead of driving home drunk. Well, the next day, I drove home and got pulled over for speeding. The cop is suspicious of me drinking so he arrests me and takes me into the station. After I take a breath test, I get a .18! Keep in mind I did not feel hung over, much less drunk!
Alcohol really doesn't affect me like other people - I can drink 2 or more bottles of wine and feel great the next morning. Anyway, two years later I commit the fatal sin - I ran out of alcohol! So I have to drive to the store and get more, right! (I don't even remember doing this -obviously I was not thinking clearly). I got my second DUI that night.
I was sentenced to 60 days in jail - but was told I could serve that time in a sober living recovery program. I chose that option, and did the program. I hated it, but that was the longest time I have been alcohol free since I began drinking.
Sadly but predictably I started drinking again. I tried to be much, much more careful, and so far have not had any major problems again. I work as a computer programmer, and I am very good at what I do. I have been with the same company for seven years, and I am known as an excellent worker. I have received raises and bonuses every year I have been here.
I am all alone. What few friends I had have moved away, and the closest family member is over an hour and a half away. At work we communicate through email, so I can literally go for over a week or more without saying a word to anyone the entire day. I have no support system whatsoever. If I died, the world wouldn't care, or even notice.
So why do I want to quit drinking? Well, it just isn't working for me anymore. It is causing big problems with my sleeping, and when I wake up in the morning I feel dehydrated and sick, not perfectly fine like before. My hair is falling out, my wounds are not healing and it is causing skin problems. I realize that I am dying, and no one cares except me. I need to do this for me, and no one else.
My first problem occured in 2000. I went to a party, had a lot to drink, and did the responsible thing and spent the night, instead of driving home drunk. Well, the next day, I drove home and got pulled over for speeding. The cop is suspicious of me drinking so he arrests me and takes me into the station. After I take a breath test, I get a .18! Keep in mind I did not feel hung over, much less drunk!
Alcohol really doesn't affect me like other people - I can drink 2 or more bottles of wine and feel great the next morning. Anyway, two years later I commit the fatal sin - I ran out of alcohol! So I have to drive to the store and get more, right! (I don't even remember doing this -obviously I was not thinking clearly). I got my second DUI that night.
I was sentenced to 60 days in jail - but was told I could serve that time in a sober living recovery program. I chose that option, and did the program. I hated it, but that was the longest time I have been alcohol free since I began drinking.
Sadly but predictably I started drinking again. I tried to be much, much more careful, and so far have not had any major problems again. I work as a computer programmer, and I am very good at what I do. I have been with the same company for seven years, and I am known as an excellent worker. I have received raises and bonuses every year I have been here.
I am all alone. What few friends I had have moved away, and the closest family member is over an hour and a half away. At work we communicate through email, so I can literally go for over a week or more without saying a word to anyone the entire day. I have no support system whatsoever. If I died, the world wouldn't care, or even notice.
So why do I want to quit drinking? Well, it just isn't working for me anymore. It is causing big problems with my sleeping, and when I wake up in the morning I feel dehydrated and sick, not perfectly fine like before. My hair is falling out, my wounds are not healing and it is causing skin problems. I realize that I am dying, and no one cares except me. I need to do this for me, and no one else.
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