Never had a drink in high school. I was always the driver, since I was so worried about my friends drinking & driving. When I was 17 I was hit by a drunk driver, only minor injuries - but it scared me.
Married Feb. 96 - widowed Oct. 97. My 27-year old husband died when he fell down a mineshaft. I was 25.
Amazingly, I didn't even drink that much when all that happened. Friends would take me out, but I'd only have a beer once every month or so. I didn't even do anti-depressants, but my "drug" was working out. I worked out ALL the time as my escape. I got down to 90 pounds and looked like a skeleton. I attended a support group once a week for a year and that was the best thing I did.
Forward to a few years ago...
Met my current boyfriend - GREAT guy! We would go out to eat a lot and that's when my drinking started picking up. We'd go alone, meet with family, friends, etc... I think I became more of a social drinker and got out of hand as the next few years progressed. Plus, my boyfriend always drove and in my mind that meant I could drink as much as I wanted.
I think I drank more the year preceding the 10-year anniversary of my husband's death approached - Oct. 07. Nov. 06 I had an alcohol-related experience that made me see a therapist and quit drinking for 3 months.
I saw the therapist for grief and drinking issues. My boyfriend said he would do whatever it takes to help me get through what I needed to and offered to go to sessions with me if I wanted. My boyfriend only drinks a few beers on the weekend now.
Now, I generally, I drink 2-4 glasses of wine 5 nights a week. With binging occuring once or twice a month. While on a recent binge, I hid a bottle of wine in another trash can. At the time it was no big deal, but when I woke up the next morning I knew I had to chill out.
That's my story in nutshell.
Renee
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