have hard liquor on that diet in moderation. That was where we both grew to love
our drinks, after work, days off, weekends. No kids in the house, hey we pretty
much drank at any time of the day. Strangely I still thought I was in control. We
would stop drinking for a week, drink water, cleanse and laugh that we weren't
alcoholics yet. Then dive right back in.
Then 1 year ago I got injured at work a neck injury and I have been strung through
the mill with work comp. Won't bore you with that part, but I have been waiting
for surgery for 1 year. Finally they approved surgery in February and they have
yet to approve a Surgeon. Meanwhile I have been sitting at home for 1 year
on temporary total disability. Children moved away. My 2 closest friends moved
away. So here I sat, with a numb left hand and a neck that grinds and crunches
when I move. So being depressed and scared I ratched my drinking up another
notch. I just did not want to think about what my injury entailed and my
children not here, hubby totally responsible for everything in the house. My
left hand could not hold a fork or phone, but my right hand could sure hold a glass.
Deeply depressed I justified drinking more . I would call my hubby crying because I
was depressed and feeling like a victim and ask him to bring home more.
In December I wound up in the hospital
with chest pain and racing heart, oh I forgot to mention I had gained about 40
pounds from drinking and the steroids I was being given to reduce inflammation
on nerves, also taking Motrin and Tylenol and Chantix. Found out I had
elevated liver enzymes. So I stopped all medications and quit drinking for
2 weeks. Enzymes back to normal. Then I was crying and begged hubby
to bring me some hooch. He did and I have been drinking on and off
ever since. Not as much as before but trust me a huge amount.
Then last night with drink in hand I told my hubby that I have to stop I am
killing myself, my liver hurts, plus from sitting around for a year I am out
of shape and over weight and of course now smoking again.
So today I am AF and hopeful ! Thanks for listening.
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