I've been watching the site for about a week, taking in all the advise and expertise in to try to make some decisions about what I need to do for my future.
I've been drinking for over 30 years and this is the first time I've admitted and recognized (to myself at least) that I have a problem. I think I'm going to try the moderation first, as I've never even attempted to cut down before. I'd say on average 7-10 glasses on wine a night would be about right. How sad that I'm not even sure, because I've never counted, just kept on filling.
Life has hit a critical point this past week with my job of 25 years now on the line. So scary, I haven't even been able to tell my husband yet. I don't drink at work, or during the day. The problem is we have employee events every two months which require nights of socializing and while I start out with great resolve, usually by night 3 I seem to lose control and the 5th or 7th glass puts me over the edge. These are mandatory events so not attending is not an option.
I started off considering Antabuse because it's so radical, but I don't take any prescription drugs today and hate taking anything. I did start Kudzu last week and that seems to be helping as I'm down to 2-3 drinks a night for the most part. I went to my MD to get a script for Antabuse but they would not give me anything and instead referred me to a psychiatrist. In desparation I searched the internet and did find sites that would sell this w/o a script. Sounds like topomax may be a better alternative? Also, I think my insurance would cover the drugs, I just am concerned about seeing a shrink and where that file ends up, tied to my work history??????
I have another event in 30 days and I'm in absolute panic about being able to make it through. I know I can say no, but I'm afraid I won't.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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