I'm from the east coast of Canada, the province of Newfoundland. It's a small place, and renowned for drinking (Screech!). I've have many years of sobriety, as many as seven consecutive, with the help of AA. I became so disappointed with the AA process, and the members pouring on the guilt. I have been drinking for the past year, and lately it's catching up on me. I know it needs to stop, and I'm ready to make a commitment, however, I can't bring myself to go back to AA meetings where the first reaction from members would be "I was wondering when you'd be back" or "I knew you couldn't do it", failure immediately!
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New from Canada
First, you are NOT a failure! You can get right back on the right track. AA is not for everyone - it was not for me. Being Catholic, I have enough damn guilt in my life...lol. I went to 2 meetings. I found the group that I had joined to be a bunch of whiners and they just seemed too dependent on each other - like they could not function without each other - made me feel like immediately I would fail once I walked out of the room. Ick. This place has helped me more than anything. I went two weeks AF and felt great but stated imbibing again. Not a huge drinker, but enough to want to stop since I come from a long line of alkies. You can do this - it is obvious from your post you did it before. Start posting and getting to know all these people - they ROCK. Together, we can beat this damn beast! Welcome and all the best to you in your journey. Remember YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"All that we are is a result of what we have thought" Buddah:heart: -
New from Canada
Hi nunewf :welcome:
Wow, seven years of sobriety is amazing! Hopefully this site can help you get back on track. There's lots of info and support and no talk of failure. Welcome aboard!sigpic
AF since December 22nd 2008
Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver BurkemanComment
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New from Canada
nunewf,
:welcome:
I go to AA meetings and do like being around people "like me." However, I do hate the "my way or the highway" kind of thinking.
You will find people here are very understanding and very caring. No reprisals or "I told you so" attitude.
I would read RJ's book because it is for more than just those who want to moderate. The supplements help a lot. I mean a lot. You do not necessarily have to buy them from this website. (Sorry RJ) but the ones on here are as good and usually better than you can find elsewhere for about the same price.
Darn, now I am sounding like a salesman and that is not what I intended. However, the difference between here and AA is that someone (RJ) has actually done some serious research into the causes and curatives for our addiction. RJ's program incorporates supplements to help the body overcome the alcohol's results on our body and help alleviate some of the physical and mental symptoms we go through as we abstain.
It is quite true that you can take all the supplements and even the Topamax and drink through it, though. Just like AA, there is that element of determination.
However, the difference is, when you take good vitamins and supplements to help your body, your determination has a much easier time winning the battle.
However, many on this website do none of it and stay AF (alcohol free) or mod (moderate) and do it well.
It is up to you.
I, however, find that when I am physically healthier, I can beat back those urges much easier.
RJ's program addresses the physical needs in three ways: supplements, exercise and meds.
Many do not use the meds. I can't because I have a bad reaction to them.
Darn. I hope I haven't overwhelmed you with this. You do not need to do anything except log in and be with others like yourself. We are all in the same boat. I am just trying to point you into some areas you may want to research yourself.
Again, welcome and glad you are here.
CindiAF April 9, 2016Comment
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New from Canada
:welcome: from a fellow Canadian! I am however on the opposite coast.
AA wasn't for me either. I found it quite depressing and felt like I was never going to have a sober life without it.
I hope you find comfort and support here. You can do it your way without judgment.
You had a long bout of sobriety, so I am pretty certain you will be able to get there again!Comment
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New from Canada
Hello and Welcome
I am from the East Coast of the US, New Hampshire. I hear you about AA. I had 7 years with AA then a one night slip, then four more years AF, then 2 years a bit later. I am very self-conscious and of course I'm a nervous wreck at the meetings, and I feel like it's a "meat market" I dread going back, but I am not sure what to do as I am often alone. My kids are grown. I downloaded the book from this site. I am going to the doc tomorrow to review meds and supps. The last thing I want to do is walk into a meeting and hear, "Does it get any better out there?" I think I'll smack someone."Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)Comment
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New from Canada
Thanks everyone who responded, and those who just read my posting. I am now day 2 AF, spent a terrible night last night detoxing... sweating profusely, however had a good nite's sleep, and feel much better today. The temptation was unreal last night, very warm here and the beer is always cold. I am trying to separate the craving voice in my head from the rational voice, and it seems to work, at least for now. I hope I can do this for my kids, but more importantly for me. Thanks again for your support!Comment
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New from Canada
You can totally do this. We are here for you! Great job on being AF last night. One day at a time....
Kat"All that we are is a result of what we have thought" Buddah:heart:Comment
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New from Canada
Welcome. I wish you much success. Good job on getting through day 1. Do explore the site, get the book and use supplements. They help a lot. I personally liked AA as long as I stuck to women only non-smoking meetings but I just wasn't ready to accept the "you can never have even 1 ever again" so I'm here instead.Comment
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New from Canada
Hello Nunewf and a hearty welcome from another Canadian (Ontariariario). I am glad you are here and since you already have extended periods of being AF under your belt you can certainly do this again. I could not do AA as I live in a very small town and I would never hear the end of it, if you get my drift.
The one thing none of us need is being put down and wear a scarlet A on our chest. I think we all feel badly enough already. Just try and read all the posts, especially the long term abstainers. You will find some amazing recovery stories. Just hang around and try to enjoy yourself while you are on your journey to sobriety. You can do this - of this I am convinced as you have done it before. You will find lots of good advise but I also feel that the habit of drinking should be replaced with something positive like simply going for a walk during witching hour etc. Do read RJ's book as it covers a lot of ground.
Some people can moderate but I couldn't. It took me a heck of a long time to finally accept that. I am 33 days AF today. I wish I could walk along a beach with you and dig up some clams, because I love the little suckers.
Be well and again welcome.
Lori:h:h:h:h*Definition of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result* Albert EinsteinComment
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New from Canada
Day 3, feeling better physically, seem to have a clearer head, but most of all, I've got two days under my belt to fight for! I am self employed, and find myself in situations where the booze is running free...so I fear this in the future. I always think people will think less of me if I don't join them for a drink, so the peer pressure to have one, just to fit in, is enormous ... God, my outlook is terrible, isn't it.
Good to see fellow Canadians here, and thanks again for everyone's support. To lorisunshine.... you should try mussels (not steamed in wine, of course, nor accompanying them!)Comment
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New from Canada
:goodjob: As for the social situations, I always just told people, I don't drink and that would be the end of that topic. No one thought it was odd. Other times I said that I was on a medication in which I could not drink AL. Might not work for u. Just what I did."Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)Comment
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New from Canada
I agree 100% with Seacailin above. With SOOOO many meds requiring you not to consume alcohol, this works well and almost always avoids having to "explain"....no one wants to hear about someone elses health issues!!!!.....just their own. AA's "Living Sober" book contains a number of practical ways to live a life that helps you avoid drinking....not the Big Book focus. In our local area (Palm Springs/Palm Desert) there is an AA group that has that book as their core focus....practical steps to avoid drinking. For myself, I had a severe panic attack after a binge, and I have found that people accept this without probing.... Amazing part is that that panic attack was worse than any hangover and my psyche seems to be happy not drinking just to avoid that deep sense of doom that lasted until I took steps to STOP. Still amazes me that after over 20+ years of trying to stop and failing, I have been sober/AF for 5 months. I have found Campral to be effective along with AA...which I "take the best and leave the rest" and this web site. Of course, the fear of another panic attack is the greatest deterant for me. At this point, I no longer take Campral, but carry a 5 day supply at all times in the blister pack form, as my support if I have a slip and have a 30 day supply at home to last me as I try again.. The drugs main effect is to help you avoid impulsive actions... ie, that first drink. I have heard of some MD's using it "off label" to help people with other impulsive behaviors other than drinking. Read the section on this drug in another section of this site. Best of luck....if you fail, remember you can start over again sober... Every period of sobriety is an achievement to be proud of.Comment
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New from Canada
Naneuf,dimbulb;391199 wrote: Every period of sobriety is an achievement to be proud of.
I think this is an excellent quote. We all tend to spend too much time chastising ourselves when we slip. Good luck on your own personal journey- I see positive changes in your future! We are all here to offer our support. Kriger"People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-TzuComment
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New from Canada
Nunewf,
I'm sorry I spelled your name wrong; forgive me! Kriger"People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-TzuComment
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