I recently, by chance, found this website and have spent hours reading through everything I can, seeing myself in so many of the postings.
My grandmother was an alcoholic and died at the age of 57, my mother was an alcoholic and died as the age of 60, last yeat in fact. My sister is a very heavy drinker and my brother when he gets a chance, and well me.....yes, whenever I can I drink heavily.
Alcohol has always been in my life and I remember clearly at the age of 11 that my mother would allow us rum and coke as it wasnt a "strong drink"!....the coke made it more acceptable somehow. Every occasion is our house was marked with huge quantities of booze and somehow we were congratulated at how much we drank,especially my brother, he was a real man if he feel asleep on the landing or trashed his room.
At the age of 18 I met a man who didnt drink and I didnt, and to tell the truth I dont know how things went from there to where they are now. We broke up I went to work with varous aid agencies around the world and meet many hard drinkers I suppose. I had a great job and decided to give it up after I had my first child. I found myself isolated at home in a remote African country.......Gin became my friend, a good friend. Then our second child arrived . We moved to Asia, the local coconut brandy became my good friend and I hid bottles everywhere so the maid wouldnt find them. Then onto the middle east, harder to get hold of the booze, but I managed and spent a great deal of time making sure I had enough.......mum died, more and more alcolhol consumed. Made a complete idiot of myself at her funeral, pissed.
I now live alone with my kids as my husband works away from home, returning at the weekends. I was so happy at first as it meant I didnt have to hide so I started to drink earlier and heavier.....cheap red wine ( now living in the med).
After 6 years of occasional alcohol free days (when pregnant) I have not had a drink for 3 days. Looking at my kids one day I thought, if I dont get my shit together then they wont have a mother. I crashed the car (vodka at lunch), left the front door open at night on numerous occasions, have upset all my family, fought to a near divorce with my long suffering husband, have passed out every night on the sofa and cant rememebr putting the kids to bed for far too long, time for action.
I am going for no alcohol at all, I dont think I can moderate and am frightened to try in the future.
Ironically I stared my nuring career working on a alcohol detox unit in London.
My grandmother was an alcoholic and died at the age of 57, my mother was an alcoholic and died as the age of 60, last yeat in fact. My sister is a very heavy drinker and my brother when he gets a chance, and well me.....yes, whenever I can I drink heavily.
Alcohol has always been in my life and I remember clearly at the age of 11 that my mother would allow us rum and coke as it wasnt a "strong drink"!....the coke made it more acceptable somehow. Every occasion is our house was marked with huge quantities of booze and somehow we were congratulated at how much we drank,especially my brother, he was a real man if he feel asleep on the landing or trashed his room.
At the age of 18 I met a man who didnt drink and I didnt, and to tell the truth I dont know how things went from there to where they are now. We broke up I went to work with varous aid agencies around the world and meet many hard drinkers I suppose. I had a great job and decided to give it up after I had my first child. I found myself isolated at home in a remote African country.......Gin became my friend, a good friend. Then our second child arrived . We moved to Asia, the local coconut brandy became my good friend and I hid bottles everywhere so the maid wouldnt find them. Then onto the middle east, harder to get hold of the booze, but I managed and spent a great deal of time making sure I had enough.......mum died, more and more alcolhol consumed. Made a complete idiot of myself at her funeral, pissed.
I now live alone with my kids as my husband works away from home, returning at the weekends. I was so happy at first as it meant I didnt have to hide so I started to drink earlier and heavier.....cheap red wine ( now living in the med).
After 6 years of occasional alcohol free days (when pregnant) I have not had a drink for 3 days. Looking at my kids one day I thought, if I dont get my shit together then they wont have a mother. I crashed the car (vodka at lunch), left the front door open at night on numerous occasions, have upset all my family, fought to a near divorce with my long suffering husband, have passed out every night on the sofa and cant rememebr putting the kids to bed for far too long, time for action.
I am going for no alcohol at all, I dont think I can moderate and am frightened to try in the future.
Ironically I stared my nuring career working on a alcohol detox unit in London.
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
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