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    #31
    Startingover's story

    Startingover, thank you for sharing your story. I wish you the very best life has to offer.

    It is a wonder children every make it out of childhood, and into adulthood. Not to be weird or anything, but do you ever feel that you have a small child inside who is still just trying to be accepted and loved?

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      #32
      Startingover's story

      Thanks for reading this guys. I cannot tell you how much it helped me to write it. I think now I have finally and properly forgiven my dad.
      Casey, you asked a very relevant question. One of my biggest issues is feeling unloved and rejected. I can feel rejected for the most daft things and it really cuts me to the quick. I often never reach out for friendship for that same fear, plus I often feel unlovable. I think that is why here has helped so much. So many people have been so kind and accepting that it has really changed me. I have always been ashamed of my feelings before. Now I am learning not to be.

      Thank you again for reading this and showing me your support. It really does mean so very much to me.
      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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        #33
        Startingover's story

        SO - so glad that you are continuing to feel better !!! yay!!!

        And isn't it funny? Having these new "virtual friends" here on MWO is giving me much more confidence in the "real world" too. I have all of YOU in my back pocket at all times . And, it also feels good to know, that if/when the s*@& hits the fan, I have a place to come and "get it out" among non-judgmental friends who understand. I take alot of strength from that.

        So........ YAY !!!! and :goodjob: SO !!!!!

        you rock.......

        love ww xox

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          #34
          Startingover's story

          Thank You Wonder :l
          You have hit it exactly on the head. Nothing is so bad that it can't be said here and saying helps! I never realised that before, think I just buried things in booze.

          And YOU are one of my inspirations. Always positve, much af time under your belt and always there to lend a helping hand.
          That is what makes this place great. So a big cyber hug (((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))to you from me :h
          Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
          Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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            #35
            Startingover's story

            right back at you SO !!!!!

            A huge .........

            {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ :l HUG :l }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you from me too!


            love ww xox

            Comment

              #36
              Startingover's story

              Starting, I just re-read your story....it made your 60+ days AF all the more amazing. With each passing day I can hear in your posts a stronger, more peaceful StartingOver. I'm so glad you found this site and that you have become my friend. Have a great day, honey! Kriger
              "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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                #37
                Startingover's story

                Good Mornin' WW,
                How are you this fine Sun morning? K
                "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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                  #38
                  Startingover's story

                  Awww Kriger, thank you hun! You are right, I am stronger and more peaceful and finally, finally I am happy

                  It is the same for you too you know, when I read your first posts you were down and I think quite lost. You're not anymore, and it is wonderful to hear.
                  And I hope that we will ALWAYS be friends.
                  Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                  Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                  Comment

                    #39
                    Startingover's story

                    SO,
                    I WAS a lost soul and ready to pay money to do outpatient rehab. This program/site has saved my life. I think back to what my life was before 8/5 and I literally start shaking; it is amazing to me how a person can change the course of their life so quickly...I owe it all to the good friends I have here. Yes, Starting, we will always be friends.

                    I find I have made so many new friends in the UK that I feel someday I will have to make the trip over the pond to meet everyone. Wouldn't that be fun...to get together?

                    Thank you so much for noticing my progress; it is remarkable as is yours!! I have a time to go before my 60 days but I have no doubts I will make it there. K
                    "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

                    Comment

                      #40
                      Startingover's story

                      Oh Kriger, I have absolutely no doubt that you will make the 60 days and beyond. This is your time as it is mine.

                      Wouldn't that be great to meet up one day? That would be some special meeting.
                      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                      Comment

                        #41
                        Startingover's story

                        Just read your story starting. Thank you for sharing it with us. You are always so positive, and to see what you have been through makes me respect the person i have never met even more. Im so glad i found you all. I am not an emotional person, but that has really touched me.
                        To Infinity And Beyond!!

                        Comment

                          #42
                          Startingover's story

                          Oh Cym Thank you ! What lovely things to say!
                          I think I can be so positve because I have faced my demons and the whole world didn't come crashing down and I wasn't rejected by everyone here (one of my worst fears). That probably sounds a bit daft. I have spent a long time burying all this. It started in earnest about age 14 and I am now 45, so it has taken quite a bit of my life to come to terms with it.
                          I cannot stress how grateful I am to have found this place, I really feel that everyone here has saved my life. I am really not exagerating either.
                          I am glad you are here, I think that you make a great contribution to MWO.
                          Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                          Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                          Comment

                            #43
                            Startingover's story

                            Today as some of you know, I reached my 90 day milestone. I never thought I had it in me to get this far. But I have and now I am reflecting on the changes and challenges that sobriety is bringing me. For the first few weeks there were many ups and downs, cravings, anxiety, fear and also a deep elation of being sober. This ride is never dull or smooth. The highs are pretty incredible and the lows, well, they are lows but I can honestly say they are not as desperate as lows when I was drinking or taking drugs. Somewhere along the line perhaps around 8 weeks I started getting the "what nexts?" this is where the anxiety and physical cravings are gone and I look up and wonder what do I do now? Am I bored, am I happy, am I sad, what are my plans? All that I find and am finding quite scary. This is where I have to learn to live a new life. The mundane, difficult or just downright boring have to be dealt with on-my-own. No crutch and no avoidance. This is the real deal and not a dress rehearsal. So how am i doing? I think I am doing well, I am beginning to enjoy normal things again. I have socialised a few times (never thought I would be able to again) I have done many things like eating out, going for long walks things that I would have always done involving drink before and ENJOYED them without. It is one hell of a feeling. Yes, sometimes I want to run and hide, sometimes I am upset, sometimes I am cross, sometimes I am lonely. But I dont have that utter despair and lost feeling that I had when I was drinking. So all in all I am damn proud of myself and very very grateful to all of you for your love and support that has been invaluable for me in this process. Thank you ALL being sober is the best!
                            Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                            Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                            Comment

                              #44
                              Startingover's story

                              7 weeks is Wonderful...Your story is very touching and i am filled with Pride over your acomplishments...The best part of your life is just ahead...Soberiety is so wonderful and you so deserve it..
                              sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

                              Comment

                                #45
                                Startingover's story

                                startingover;433116 wrote: Today as some of you know, I reached my 90 day milestone. I never thought I had it in me to get this far. But I have and now I am reflecting on the changes and challenges that sobriety is bringing me. For the first few weeks there were many ups and downs, cravings, anxiety, fear and also a deep elation of being sober. This ride is never dull or smooth. The highs are pretty incredible and the lows, well, they are lows but I can honestly say they are not as desperate as lows when I was drinking or taking drugs. Somewhere along the line perhaps around 8 weeks I started getting the "what nexts?" this is where the anxiety and physical cravings are gone and I look up and wonder what do I do now? Am I bored, am I happy, am I sad, what are my plans? All that I find and am finding quite scary. This is where I have to learn to live a new life. The mundane, difficult or just downright boring have to be dealt with on-my-own. No crutch and no avoidance. This is the real deal and not a dress rehearsal. So how am i doing? I think I am doing well, I am beginning to enjoy normal things again. I have socialised a few times (never thought I would be able to again) I have done many things like eating out, going for long walks things that I would have always done involving drink before and ENJOYED them without. It is one hell of a feeling. Yes, sometimes I want to run and hide, sometimes I am upset, sometimes I am cross, sometimes I am lonely. But I dont have that utter despair and lost feeling that I had when I was drinking. So all in all I am damn proud of myself and very very grateful to all of you for your love and support that has been invaluable for me in this process. Thank you ALL being sober is the best!
                                Starting- what a wonderful post. I don't know if I will ever make it there- to that place where you are at, but if anyone can help me to it is you!

                                Thank you so much, you are a wonderful inspiration.

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