Lost Empty

[Nothing Left]

I came accross this site and have to tell my story if something happens at least I spoke out about my life what of it I have left or had in the past. Life is what we make of it, thats the saying that I hear people tell me. I think very little of anything I hear about how we make our lives into what we choose. It simply is not true and I have tried to make my life really good with what I had to work with. How do you make your life better with nothing? I ask my self this everyday to the point where I am going crazy with repetiitive thoughts in my head over and over again and I feel like I'm loosing it and get very angry and mad. I can't get a grip on my life anymore and have gotten no where in the mean while. When I was born I had 2 parents, but I weighed 3 and 1/2 lbs. premature. My parents got divorced when I was like 5 and at 4 I had Open Heart Surgery and my brother was 3 years younger than me. I had parents that did not get along and my mother would not let my dad have us because they could never settle there differences and she moved us away from all of the family we ever would know. Our Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Grandparents in Ohio my home state. I was born in a small country town just north of Delaware Ohio, I loved it so much from country farmers to holidays with family and loving memories that would never happen because my Mother took us away for selfish reasons only she knew. My Mother moved us all over Florida and different places because of money and guys she meet and fight then we had to move again. I was the most unhappy little girl, I had to take care of my mom and my brother and my self. My mom has been a diabetic since I was born and she was always sick and I had to take care of her since I was like 7 or 8 yrs. old. There were many times when I had just made it in the last second to save her life and call 911 because I would come home from school and she was in a spell with her diabetes and my brother was crying. What do I do anymore I am so lost and empty inside crying for help because all thats left is my tears I have lost my strenght and can't hold on to whatever I have left now this moment. My life started bad and supposibly I'm a miracle but I do not feel like one. I need help so bad I do not know what to do or if anyone can help me because it is so bad I have no one to help me I do not know anyone, my family does not care about me or want to help me have a life. I tried to the best I could with working three jobs suppoting my mom and brother and getting an education for my self. The only thing have to this day to show for is my diploma. I tried talking to my family for years about college but never had anyway to get anywhere or anyone to want to help me get anywhere to take classes. Where I lived in the country too far to walk and no busses I am just plain stuck no way in but only one way out thats all I can think about it is killing me I want the best for my self but I have tried everything and really scared that this is why god let me live for all this and nothing to go on for. I do not know what to do I am homeless, jobless, no car and can't get to anf from a job with no money or anything. I have alot more than just a bad childhood and nothing anymore, I was born with no uterus so I can't carry my own baby ever, so no man wants to be with me because I can't carry his baby. No one wants me and I do not know why? I have always been a giver all my life to others and I do not understand why god would let me end up completely helpless and alone. Why won't someone help me? I just want a chance at a life to make my self be somebody. I want to be somebody and I do not want to be nobody with no job or career or family I want to be somebody and make a difference and still give to others. I have nothing left to give of my self. I wish there was someone to help me!

[Carmac]

Lost Empty

Lost and Empty -

You need to look in the phonebook for your area or on-line for a help line in your area. Please call them. You sound very depressed and they are there to help you find help in your immediate area - including transportation. This site is wonderful but the best we can do is prompt you to look for help nearby.

If you look for suicide hot lines (even if you are not suicidal) they can direct you to the right place. Your local hospital can also assist. You will be surprised at the help available but you must make the phone call. They can only help if you will let them.

PLease call and let us know how you are doing. But remember, first you must worry about you....no one else. You cannot be a position to help anyone else until you can help yourself. Oh, and you are NOT being selfish...you are being smart and intelligent to do for you!!!!

Erin

[bloggy]

Lost Empty

Nothing Left

You truly sound like you have had a very hard time and need some support- either local or here.

Please let us know how you are doing.

[BILLYJACK]

Lost Empty

Nothing Left,
please take the advice given by those who posted the help lines, they are there for the intended purposes of helping people who feel like you do. To me, you sound like a VERY giving individule and beleive me, God did'nt put you on this earth for no intended purpose. EVERYBODY has a purpose on this earth even though many times, after all the bad things that we have been thru in our life and no matter HOW hard we STRIVE to move FORWARD, we dont seem to be advancing anywhere.

You first MUST get some outside HELP. It IS there, you just need to heed the advice of those that posted the help lines for you, and then, make the CALL.

Its the FIRST step in helping yourself.

God Bless and keep us POSTED OFTEN.

[DrNiblik]

Lost Empty

Nothing left... The very idea that you WANT help is indicative that your life is worth living. God doesn't make anyone for no reason. There is no such thing as human debris. PLEASE use the info Wally sent you and get some help! Also check in and as often as you can.

[Evie.Lou]

Lost Empty

The united way has a hot line that you can call 24/7 from any phone in the united states just dial 211. they work with many organizations including addiction recovery and mental health. I know they can refer you to a good place. My prayers are with you. Life can get better. keep us posted please on how you are doing.

[secret lady]

Lost Empty

Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:3 NLT

Go to www.klove.com; listen to this radio station for 30 days, God wants to save your life because you are his precious child who is a blessing to others. God will pick you up, reach out to him like you did to us on this website: he is already helping you by connecting you to us who want to support you.

Please post, my prayers are with you.

[IAD]

Lost Empty

Nothing left......Theirs plenty of you left ! Get some help.....members have given you that. Come back here and we can talk about anything you want. We need you to help us as much as we can help you ! Praying for you. IAD