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Why do I damage myself knowingly....

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    #1

    Why do I damage myself knowingly....

    Hi,
    I came on here a few months back, sorted myself to a certain extent but fell back to old habits and worse recently. It used to be a bottle of wine, now it's nearly two. Not everynight. I buy a bottle with great intentions of having a glass, then I finish the bottle and either go out and get another bottle or 'borrow' my housemates. Basically I'm on a mission to get drunk.. not just to have a drink or two.

    Last week however I got a bit of a wake up call. I fell down the stairs from the very top to the very bottom - hitting my head on each step. I realised the next day that I was lucky to be alive regardless of the bump on my head. I cringed at the thought of my parents getting a call saying that I was found at the bottom of a stairs. And I realised that if I don't do something about the excessive drinking it's only a matter of time that I may not be so lucky. Yet here I am again today, hungover.

    I see other people have a glass or two of wine, recork the bottle and leave it at that... I get jealous! This only happens with wine and I know the solution is to avoid it but my god I love it.
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    #2
    Why do I damage myself knowingly....

    Sorry you are so down. I too ask myself why I would willingly continue to poison my body and wake up hungover? It's mindboggling, really.
    Like you, I love wine. Until today, I drank almost 2 bottles per day. I say "until today" because I am trying to convince myself that this evening will be different.

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      #3
      Why do I damage myself knowingly....

      I find it like a vicious circle. The morning after an alcohol free night, I wake up feeling good. Go to the gym that evening, feel great coming out of the gym - then decide to reward myself with a drink but it turns into several drinks. Wake up dying the following morning, drag myself around, don't drink that night due to hangover. Wake up great the next morning and so forth.....

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        #4
        Why do I damage myself knowingly....

        Yoga, Juley, there really is a way out of this. This MWO forum is part of an entire program; check it out. Wishful thinking and good intentions, all on their own, rarely have been enough to defeat a well-entrenched drinking problem.

        best wishes,

        wip

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          #5
          Why do I damage myself knowingly....

          Juley;407237 wrote: I find it like a vicious circle. The morning after an alcohol free night, I wake up feeling good. Go to the gym that evening, feel great coming out of the gym - then decide to reward myself with a drink but it turns into several drinks. Wake up dying the following morning, drag myself around, don't drink that night due to hangover. Wake up great the next morning and so forth.....
          True for me too
          :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

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            #6
            Why do I damage myself knowingly....

            Thank you WIP!

            I purchased the online book this morning and finished it within an hour. I already had all of the supplements so I went back on line and ordered the CDs.
            The only component I am not sure I want to incorporate just yet is the Topa.

            I have this strange aversion to poisoning my body with pills but have no problem keeping my body in a state of toxic shock with expensive wine! Ha.

            I was hoping the supplements and Kudzu were going to work wonders.

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              #7
              Why do I damage myself knowingly....

              Juley
              It really is a vicious cycle, but you can break it. Read the book and these threads. They really can help. And welcome!

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                #8
                Why do I damage myself knowingly....

                Yoga and Jul -

                Welcome!

                The supps worked for me, no TOPA. Kudzu, L-Glut, B-50, Magnesium, Mike Thistle and Oil. Helped stop cravings.

                You can do it.

                Many a day I woke up with ARI (alcohol related injuries - mainly bruises from God knows what). Scary, sad, embarrassing, you name all the feelings.

                I wish you well. Stay close, keep posting.

                - Figi
                AF since Aug 25, 2008

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                  #9
                  Why do I damage myself knowingly....

                  Hi guys
                  We have all been there believe me but it is actually possible to break that cycle of drink recover drink recover etc. But it doesnt happen by itself you have to have a PLAN and luckily there is a plan already devised for just this purpose and all you have to do is tailor it to your own circumstances and you will be on YOUR own way. Lots of people like to wait until they have read the book got the supplements and CD's and/or the drugs (topomax, campral, antabuse) and then give it a lash.
                  BH (no more)

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