hank you for your posts! I didn't realize the post was sent because I didn't hit the submit button.
I had a hard time during both of my pregnancies. I drank one glass of wine with my first and 3 with my second. Both of my kids are in the gifted program at school but my second child is classified gifted with specific learning disabilities (dyslexia). I feel sooooo guilty. I know it must have been the poison I put into his bloodstream. He also suffers from allergies and asthma.
My husband travels pretty much during the week and I have to raise the kids by self. For some reason, the mundane chores of everyday life are alleviated with wine! I find I get my second wind after working all day at a stressful job. I am able to do laundry, homework with the kids, cook dinner, clean the kitchen, etc. a lot easier with a little buzz. I am tired of feeling guilty over the amount I drink. Last night I drank a bottle and a half of wine and went to bed at 10:30...was at work at 7:00 a.m. and was totally paranoid that someone would smell the wine working its way out of my system. I have read so many self help books and have even tried the dreaded AA. I tried a two week intensive rehab that helped me stay sober for 10 months. I spend an embarrassing amount of money on wine per month. I have developed a knack for the "good" stuff...well...better stuff. I spend about $15-20 per bottle and I drink 2 bottles per night. I splurge once per week on my favorite Sauvignon Blanc which runs $46 per bottle! How can anyone in their right mind blow through this kind of money for nothing? How can I consider myself an intelligent woman and know what I am doing is damaging my body and my children's well being?
I got my topa today and I am scared shitless..pardon my French. I want and don't want to take it. I have cut down in the last two weeks to one bottle (sometimes 1.5) per evening using the l-glute and Kudzu. I just can't imagine my life without "the buzz" and the sleep it allows me. I am a type A personality and my mind constantly races 24/7 without a "forced passout" from drinking.
Thank you for listening. The non-judgmental environment on this site is no doubt instrumental to the success of countless people struggling with this awful condition.
The other day I read a post that said "we know you without knowing you because we have all been there". I was so touched by that and it brought me great comfort because I can't talk to anyone else about this. That person gave me the OK to be easy on myself and not so judgmental of my shortcomings. I do keep trying.
Today was supposed to be my day....maybe tomorrow will now that the Topa is here.
I had a hard time during both of my pregnancies. I drank one glass of wine with my first and 3 with my second. Both of my kids are in the gifted program at school but my second child is classified gifted with specific learning disabilities (dyslexia). I feel sooooo guilty. I know it must have been the poison I put into his bloodstream. He also suffers from allergies and asthma.
My husband travels pretty much during the week and I have to raise the kids by self. For some reason, the mundane chores of everyday life are alleviated with wine! I find I get my second wind after working all day at a stressful job. I am able to do laundry, homework with the kids, cook dinner, clean the kitchen, etc. a lot easier with a little buzz. I am tired of feeling guilty over the amount I drink. Last night I drank a bottle and a half of wine and went to bed at 10:30...was at work at 7:00 a.m. and was totally paranoid that someone would smell the wine working its way out of my system. I have read so many self help books and have even tried the dreaded AA. I tried a two week intensive rehab that helped me stay sober for 10 months. I spend an embarrassing amount of money on wine per month. I have developed a knack for the "good" stuff...well...better stuff. I spend about $15-20 per bottle and I drink 2 bottles per night. I splurge once per week on my favorite Sauvignon Blanc which runs $46 per bottle! How can anyone in their right mind blow through this kind of money for nothing? How can I consider myself an intelligent woman and know what I am doing is damaging my body and my children's well being?
I got my topa today and I am scared shitless..pardon my French. I want and don't want to take it. I have cut down in the last two weeks to one bottle (sometimes 1.5) per evening using the l-glute and Kudzu. I just can't imagine my life without "the buzz" and the sleep it allows me. I am a type A personality and my mind constantly races 24/7 without a "forced passout" from drinking.
Thank you for listening. The non-judgmental environment on this site is no doubt instrumental to the success of countless people struggling with this awful condition.
The other day I read a post that said "we know you without knowing you because we have all been there". I was so touched by that and it brought me great comfort because I can't talk to anyone else about this. That person gave me the OK to be easy on myself and not so judgmental of my shortcomings. I do keep trying.
Today was supposed to be my day....maybe tomorrow will now that the Topa is here.
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