maddiva

[time2change]

maddiva

Maddiva
Welcome. I am glad you found us. You sound determined and strong. You are gving your child a great gift.

[Seacailin]

maddiva

[maddiva]

maddiva

FEELING PROUD OF MYSELF

I have gone a week and a day without succumbing to the evils of liquor. I attended my art class and met some lovely people who were all in the same position as myself and really lovely and very funny!!! I think I was forgetting how to laugh. I then conducted myself in a normal manner and fitted so much into my day that I was naturally exhausted. Today I have a counselling session, which I do find helpful. The Alcohol Drug Addiction Team I attend have a totally different approach than that of AA. They do not say alcohol and drug addiction is a disease but more of a coping mechanism to lifes problems and that with help and determination the person who has succumbed to these issues can resolve them. They are very good and I like that approach. I find that attitude works for me. I did attend AA a few times but could not seem to 'get into it'. I felt I was airing my dirty washing in public and people are fickle and politics in any group can get me down. I tend to be a loner, but not lonely as such. My friends who are few and far between are worthy of such trust, not someone who lives in the same town as me. Plus I was told by AA that if I did not attend and become a regular active soul within the organisation that like the many others who have not attended regularly I would die!!! Because AA is the only way to deal with a drinking problem. I found that a rather bollocks statement!!! So needless to say I come on this website and go to my therapy days. Feel a bit like I am reprogramming my being. Bit wiser though.

DID FEEL LIKE GETTING A DRINK TODAY AND WHILST WALKING MY DOGS ON THIS BEAUTIFUL AUTUMN DAY FOUND MYSELF CRANING MY NECK TO SEE IF THE LOCAL OFF LICENCE WAS OPEN AND THINKING OF GETTING TWO MINI BOTTLES OF WINE AND A PACKET OF CIGARETTES, I ONLY SMOKE WHEN I DRINK!!! DISGUSTING VILE HABIT!!!! BUT I MANAGED TO TALK MYSELF OUT OF IT AND PICTURED MY SON RETURNING FROM COLLEGE AND THE SMELL OF ALCOHOL ON MY BREATH, HOWEVER MANY MINTS I MAY SUCK. HIS DISAPPOINTMENT, MY DISAPPOINTMENT AND THE DIRTY FEELING I WOULD GET IN THE CELLS OF MY BODY. SO I CAME HOME AND HAD TOAST, CAME ON LINE AND AM ABOUT TO BATHE!!!! I FEEL PROUD, SO CAME ON LINE TO SAY THIS FACT. I KNOW I AM NOWHERE NEAR OUT OF THE WOODS AND LOITERING IN THE SHADOWS BUT I WILL GET THERE.

A WOMAN ON TELEVISION HAS HAD ?25,000 SPENT ON FIVE DETOXES AND SHE IS STILL DRINKING. I AM EXTRA PROUD, BECAUSE SUCH ARE THE RESOURCES THAT I HAVE NOT HAD A DETOX BY ANY MEDICAL INSTITUTION, BUT AM DOING THIS MYSELF WITH CAREFULLY SELECTED PROFESSIONALS BY THE COURTS OF COURSE. THEN THE NEXT FACT I FOUND OUT THAT ONLY A MINOR PERCENT OF THOSE WHO ATTEND REHAB AND DETOX CENTRES ACTUALLY GET CLEAN. SO I THINK IT IS A MATTER FOR THE PERSON AND IT IS ASTOUDING HOW MUCH MONEY THESE PLACES CHARGE. IT IS INDIVIDUAL ME THINKS!!!

MANY THANKS TO ALL I SHALL NAVIGATE AROUND THIS WEBSITE NOW AND FIND A THOUGHT FOR MY DAY. THANK YOU FOR THE FLOWERS AND POSITIVE VIBES. I BET ALL YE AMERICANS ARE BUSY WITH THE ELECTIONS!!!! HAVE A GOOD DAY NOW!!!:thanks: