Hello friends here at MWO,
I posted "my story" as a follow up to my 14 months AF in Long Term Abs but thought I'd post it here to. I have been an active subscriber for a year plus and I read and post a few lines daily: mostly on the abs thread and once in a while in general and subs. I read more than I post and I have derived incredible motivation and support from this community. I believe in a positive approach to this problem with alcohol and I hope that my story and work to date might motivate someone else who is ready to take the AF plunge.
So, here is my story:
July: 46 years old, man in Tennessee, married w/ three children.
Drink of choice: good beer and plenty of it.
Why I quit: it was killing me and all that I hold dear
I began with the MWO program of suppliments and the book. I read the book through and ordered the suppliments. I started the program first without the supplements but knowing that they would arrive in a day or so, it gave me the nerve to attempt the AF plunge. I chose a Friday because those days were the hardest days for me not to drink. I set two goals for myself (1) try, truly try as hard as I could 30 days AF; and, if that worked attempt goal (2) AF for life.
So, with the help of the book, reading posts nightly, and the daily ritual of checking in on the monthly abs thread I was off. (I ordered the CD's but never listened to them, I'm not sure why.) The first 10 days were extremely difficult: all the things we all know--moody, wanting to drink, upset by little things, fear of failure--that cycle. I shut off the volume to that tape in my head.
Thirty days to 100 days is when I realized that I was becomming a non-drinker in thought and action. 200-300 days gave me time to see that the effort was worth the initial struggle. A year AF was a mile post that I really doubted I could make when I first found this place on July 23, 2007. And, I don't think I could have understood how much a single year AF could change one's outlook and approach to life.
A little over 14 months ago I was a man drinking 10+ beers a night and sometimes a lot more than that. I was letting life my life slip by and numbing myself to existence: good and bad. My background is familar and similar to many here. I grew up in an alcoholic family and never drank until college. I drank then at parties and probably unknowingly set my own alcoholic roots. During graduate school I started to use beer as the reward for presure filled days. My young professional life was a continuation of that-- work hard, reward. I progressed in my professional life and met my wife. We married and both drank. Our drinking increased and we wrote that off to presures in a young family. We--on the surface--thought everything was fine. But I knew that drinking was starting to take over. I resisted self awareness and told myself that I was not like my father who drank himself to death 20 years ago--alone, destitute and on the street.
Our family grew and we now had three small children. Our drinking patterns remained the same, beer reward for me every day and wine for my wife. The amounts increased. We both knew that this was not the way we intended to live our lives but, we were busy and working to bring up our kids. We were on the trap of our own design: drunk at night and faking our way through life during the day.
Four years ago my wife came home and told me she was going to AA that night. I was shocked and scared. I was terrified that if Mrs. July had a problem then I knew I had a problem. And, I really did not want to have a problem. I liked drinking every night. Well she went to AA : I'm not sure what freaked me out worse, her wanting help or the idea that I might have to go to AA some day. I was unhinged by that thought (too damn proud at that time). Well, after three meetings Mrs. July told me that she probably was never going to drink again as she was an alcoholic. I cried.
For the next two to three years I tried moderating with alcohol. A disaster. I would have these great plans. Drink only on the weekends. Drink only two on the weekends. OK two on a social night during the week, well maybe a couple after a really hard period of work. Never drink around the kids. Just two around the kids. Does this sound familar to many here? I actually increased my drinking during this period when I was "cutting down." By this point Mrs. July had done three years AF and I knew her change was real. I knew too that I was fucking up the best thing that had ever happened to me: our marriage. I knew too that I was at risk of hurting our children more if I kept it up. Who knows what damage had already been done? I knew I was killing myself and wrecking what I was supposed to be loving: family. I was at the edge of a cliff and I knew it.
So, last summer full of fear but with a belief that I could do better I searched the web. I came accross MWO on July 23,2007. On that night I knew what the stakes were and I vowed to myself that I would: (1) go AF for 30 days and if that worked (2) live and be AF for life. I have never worked at something as hard as I have worked at this. I work this hard because my life depends on it.
I owe my 14 months AF to MWO, you all here and RJ. And for that I am thankful.
Well, I will be right here reading the abs and subs (posting about once a day a few lines) and getting back to living this life that I nearly missed.
Take care friends,
July
I posted "my story" as a follow up to my 14 months AF in Long Term Abs but thought I'd post it here to. I have been an active subscriber for a year plus and I read and post a few lines daily: mostly on the abs thread and once in a while in general and subs. I read more than I post and I have derived incredible motivation and support from this community. I believe in a positive approach to this problem with alcohol and I hope that my story and work to date might motivate someone else who is ready to take the AF plunge.
So, here is my story:
July: 46 years old, man in Tennessee, married w/ three children.
Drink of choice: good beer and plenty of it.
Why I quit: it was killing me and all that I hold dear
I began with the MWO program of suppliments and the book. I read the book through and ordered the suppliments. I started the program first without the supplements but knowing that they would arrive in a day or so, it gave me the nerve to attempt the AF plunge. I chose a Friday because those days were the hardest days for me not to drink. I set two goals for myself (1) try, truly try as hard as I could 30 days AF; and, if that worked attempt goal (2) AF for life.
So, with the help of the book, reading posts nightly, and the daily ritual of checking in on the monthly abs thread I was off. (I ordered the CD's but never listened to them, I'm not sure why.) The first 10 days were extremely difficult: all the things we all know--moody, wanting to drink, upset by little things, fear of failure--that cycle. I shut off the volume to that tape in my head.
Thirty days to 100 days is when I realized that I was becomming a non-drinker in thought and action. 200-300 days gave me time to see that the effort was worth the initial struggle. A year AF was a mile post that I really doubted I could make when I first found this place on July 23, 2007. And, I don't think I could have understood how much a single year AF could change one's outlook and approach to life.
A little over 14 months ago I was a man drinking 10+ beers a night and sometimes a lot more than that. I was letting life my life slip by and numbing myself to existence: good and bad. My background is familar and similar to many here. I grew up in an alcoholic family and never drank until college. I drank then at parties and probably unknowingly set my own alcoholic roots. During graduate school I started to use beer as the reward for presure filled days. My young professional life was a continuation of that-- work hard, reward. I progressed in my professional life and met my wife. We married and both drank. Our drinking increased and we wrote that off to presures in a young family. We--on the surface--thought everything was fine. But I knew that drinking was starting to take over. I resisted self awareness and told myself that I was not like my father who drank himself to death 20 years ago--alone, destitute and on the street.
Our family grew and we now had three small children. Our drinking patterns remained the same, beer reward for me every day and wine for my wife. The amounts increased. We both knew that this was not the way we intended to live our lives but, we were busy and working to bring up our kids. We were on the trap of our own design: drunk at night and faking our way through life during the day.
Four years ago my wife came home and told me she was going to AA that night. I was shocked and scared. I was terrified that if Mrs. July had a problem then I knew I had a problem. And, I really did not want to have a problem. I liked drinking every night. Well she went to AA : I'm not sure what freaked me out worse, her wanting help or the idea that I might have to go to AA some day. I was unhinged by that thought (too damn proud at that time). Well, after three meetings Mrs. July told me that she probably was never going to drink again as she was an alcoholic. I cried.
For the next two to three years I tried moderating with alcohol. A disaster. I would have these great plans. Drink only on the weekends. Drink only two on the weekends. OK two on a social night during the week, well maybe a couple after a really hard period of work. Never drink around the kids. Just two around the kids. Does this sound familar to many here? I actually increased my drinking during this period when I was "cutting down." By this point Mrs. July had done three years AF and I knew her change was real. I knew too that I was fucking up the best thing that had ever happened to me: our marriage. I knew too that I was at risk of hurting our children more if I kept it up. Who knows what damage had already been done? I knew I was killing myself and wrecking what I was supposed to be loving: family. I was at the edge of a cliff and I knew it.
So, last summer full of fear but with a belief that I could do better I searched the web. I came accross MWO on July 23,2007. On that night I knew what the stakes were and I vowed to myself that I would: (1) go AF for 30 days and if that worked (2) live and be AF for life. I have never worked at something as hard as I have worked at this. I work this hard because my life depends on it.
I owe my 14 months AF to MWO, you all here and RJ. And for that I am thankful.
Well, I will be right here reading the abs and subs (posting about once a day a few lines) and getting back to living this life that I nearly missed.
Take care friends,
July
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