Why is this so hard?

[sosadeveryday]

:new:
I never had a problem with drinking or so I thought. Then when my world crashed down around me I found out that I have a very serious problem. Last night my husband told me I was in denial and a deep depression and I was self medicating with alcohol. And you know what, I am. I can't get myself out of the hole I am in so every night I go home and I drink 4-6 beers a night. I have gained weight and I really hate myself for not being able to stop doing this to myself.

5 months ago I received a new kidney transplant. I should be thrilled, right? For some reason I was not able to deal with the changes that this new lifestyle brought. 1 month later my 13 year old daughter took 12 sleeping pills. Apparently she had been deeply depressed for months and I was too sick to notice. Once I got her help I just started drinking more and more. I can't wait to go home and feel numb.

My husband stopped having the occassional drink to help me out. He JUST STOPPED! He can't figure out why I can't.

Why is this so hard?

[startingover]

Why is this so hard?

Hi there SoSad, it is hard because it is an addiction to a chemical. Not everyone gets addicted but many of us do. I think that most of us has felt that self hatred at one time or another. Difficult periods in our lives can make our drinking escalate, then it becomes harder to see how we can live a sober life. You may be suffering from depression and that is making your drinking worse or your drinking may be causing your depression. That can happen too.
Have you read the book from the site? That would be a good start. Then decide how you want to approach your next step. It is do-able and we are here to help.
Good luck and a warm welcome to you

[stepintime]

Why is this so hard?

I can't stop either. I also don't know why some people can 'just stop' and I cant. Think some of us find it harder than others to quit it. Of course.. it's likely, hubby doesn't have the dependency we have, in which case thats why he could just 'stop'. You're not on your own.

[tlrgs]

Why is this so hard?

:hello2::colorwelcome::wave::groupluv: do your best thats all you can do when you are ready it will happen and yes its not easy to just quit the thing is you have to know what you want and have to be ready to go as far as you have to .. to get where you want to be ..stay strong and think positive

[sosadeveryday]

Why is this so hard?

I believe you are right and I am depressed. I just wish I could help myself the same way I helped my daughter. There is such a fear of failure and a sense of shame. I appreciate how open and honest everyone is on this site. There is no hiding. When we hide it makes it harder to get help.

[startingover]

Why is this so hard?

SoSad, I asked for help from my doctor, not for my drinking but for my depression. Through anti depressants counselling and then stopping the drinking, I feel 100% better. You can do this, it is scary, but we have all been there. We can help you but you must take that first step. So come on, lets get cracking yes?

[sosadeveryday]

Why is this so hard?

startingover, did you go to you regular doctor or someone who specializes with depression?

[startingover]

Why is this so hard?

I just went to my regular doctor and asked for counselling. Then he said it would take a few weeks to organise so i asked for help in the meantime, he gave me prozac. Then I started counselling