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    #16
    I drink, here's my story.

    Dear Montanna Mommy,
    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Jessica. I have no words of wisdom, except that we do not know why these things happen. Have you mourned her? Perhaps writing to her, writing her a letter, telling her how you feel would help you? Crying is OK....in fact it is healthy......let it out.

    I am glad that you shared this with us....I will light a candle for precious Jessica. Have you ever thought that perhaps she was so close to perfection, that all she needed was to be in your womb to reach her next level? (sorry if I offend......I believe in reincarnation).....

    Love to you and your children,
    Kate
    A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

    AF 12/6/2007

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      #17
      I drink, here's my story.

      Montana Mommy

      Keep going, you were doing so well - you have been through so much with the loss of your little Jessica and 3 weeks was brilliant - don't let this one little "slip" spoil your new AF life. You said yourself that you felt great since you quit. Whatever your current problem is that has made you drink, remember drinking won't make it any better / solve it - just make it worse. Try and work round it another way with your new friends.

      I can't imagine the pain of losing a little one - i have 2 young children myself but after my second I had to undergo a hysterectomy, which did make me very sad and contributed to my drink problem.

      You have achieved so much in the last few weeks, even with drinking yesterday you should still feel positive, just keep going, read on here / post, anything to help. Clock up more Af days. Do this for you, for your children and in memory of your little Jessica

      Take care

      sausage x

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        #18
        I drink, here's my story.

        Montana Mommy;474750 wrote: Hey All,
        Just an update. I was 3 weeks AF, and am drinking tonight. My life is going so good, thank you my heavely Father. Since I quit drinking things HAVE got a lot better. But there is something still nagging at my soul. Im drinking tonight, but I'll start drinking more if I dont get to the root of this problem. I KNOW WHAT THIS PROBLEM IT IS, but its so hard. I have new friends at the church I just started. Im gonna talk to my new friend and start working with this. I just want to cry.(Another word for God is Mother in the lips of Children.) Please pray for me guys.
        MM
        Hey MM......
        I'm praying that you will find Peace and Comfort in our Father. Jessica Lynn is with Him now and taken care of and happy...just waiting for her mommy and daddy to join her in Heaven.
        You know God had to give up His Son also. He understands how that feels.
        When I get really down, I go into a bedroom alone and throw a pillow down on the floor and just pour out my heart to Him. Most of the time it is just weeping and "Jesus' name...
        He has NEVER failed to come and hold and comfort me.
        I then get up and get on about my Father's business while here on earth.
        Thats why we're still here...
        Know you are prayed over and loved.

        "You can't do anything to make God love you more".
        You can't do anything to make God love you less".
        Philip Yancey....What's So Amazing About Grace?

        :hNancy
        "Be still and know that I am God"

        Psalm 46:10

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          #19
          I drink, here's my story.

          Thank you guys for your support. I have happy tears in my eyes from your posts about Jessica Lynn. Im at peace with her being in heaven. I know she's in a better place and walking with Jesus.
          Last night I wasn't thinking about Jessica. I was sad because I have a broken relationship with my Mom, and that will probably be a never ending pain. There's nothing I can do to make her like me. We haven't talked in almost 3 years, and I just wish we could be close. She has mental problems and I don't know how to fix things without her killing me with her words. Anyways, I did learn that things like this are way easier to handle sober. I feel so bad for last nights slip, but I'm just gonna pick myself up and keep going.

          You can't do anything to make God love you more".
          You can't do anything to make God love you less".
          Thanks for that. Makes it way easier to get back up and keep going.

          Thanks you all again so much, I love you guys even though I don't know you.
          MM

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            #20
            I drink, here's my story.

            Thank you MM and all the others who posted. For me to read all this is good for my soul. I think we all have major issues which affect us and we just reach out and drink is the only thing sometimes readily available to numb ourselves. It really is dreadful, cos then we have more problems as we deal with the alcohol. I had a miscarriage at 21 and really tried to keep the baby inside me. It was a bad time for me and really I could barely take care of myself, let alone a child, but still I tried. Then I was very ill as some of the baby was still inside and that was quite horrid requiring emergency attention. I felt like I was dying. But I went on to produce two beautiful sons. Sadly, my drinking has not only blighted my life but theirs also. For that I feel so ashamed. you know I used to hate the drunk mad woman and then became even drunker and madder. I love reading what you all write about yourselves it is very honest and inspirational to me as I sit alone with my problem. thanks:h

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