alchoholic

[gyco]

have to xplain how someone can say there parents were alchoholic,i mt not be rt or seem to think i no it all,but i a m at a loss for words,i have no rt to call my parents who would be in there early ninties alchoholics,tht is for ones self to decide,if you feel after lerning what you have lerned are an alkie,gol darn bless your soul,wht remains of it,you can only really talk of yourself,but are your paents alive today to tell them tht they messed your life up,mine arent,the only way this mess gets strate is hello stop havin ,children,or dont drink,words for thot,have a good weekend and no theres nothin wrongwith gyco

[DeeBee]

alchoholic

Good to hear you are good Gyco!

I dread my daughter growing up thinking Mommy is a drunk. She is at the age now where if I even have one drink I can see her worry - I feel ashamed of the pain I have caused her.

[j-vo]

alchoholic

I'll piggy back on Deebee. That was the worst part about being a drunk, having my son see me in those aweful states. I'd rather have gotten a DUI than have my son tell me the next day that "you were drunk, mom. You did this or that." And I think we all need to take resonsibility for ourselves - yes we get passed the bad genes, but also the good ones. There has to be a time when we stop blaming the great grandmother on my father's side of the family for my issues! We could go on and on and give excuses. We are who we are.

[hippie37]

alchoholic

"This Be The Verse":

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

A lighthearted verse someone sent me today that I was reminded of!!

Agree totally though J-vo. i spent months inquiring after my dad's old drinking habits when he was away at sea in the Merchant Navy and why it was he only drank on special occasions like Xmas or new year. I looked for the family history with alcoholism looking for blame to put my own drinking on. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. At the end of the day it matters not and it's not gonna change who I am or why my drinking was out of control. We're all responsible for our own actions at the end of the day.

Also I think maybe there was a certain amount of stigma in my dad's day about not being able to handle your drink. I'm not going to tell my daughter I'm an alcoholic as soon as she is old enough to understand. If she ever asks me about it though I'll be honest with her as I feel no shame that I have a problem. Yes I dread the thought that maybe she will turn out like her father but hell that's not an excuse to blame me and continue drinking because I too am alcoholic.

Love and Happiness
Hippis
xx

[Heavenly]

alchoholic

I think issues in childhood can result in a person drinking, I also think that there is an 'alcoholic' gene.
(thats my belief) ... but to actually point the finger at my parents ...well, I can and I can't.... if it is their fault then they didn't do it on purpose, as I wouldn't do it on purpose to my children

God forbid. I would never wish my children to have problems with alcohol.

Glad you ok Gyco, and respect your opinion.

[rubywillow]

alchoholic

Gyco, You always make sense in your own way. I'm reading a great book I posted about already called Mother-Daugher Wisdom (sorry guys). It's not just for parents, it's for any woman, since we are all daughters. Anyway, it talks about things that stay with us through the cellular level, so why not alcoholism. In my studies of alcoholism, when you look at the risks for becoming an alcoholic, having an alcoholic parent is a BIG red flag. So, what do we know. Nothing as real fact. But I believe we must learn as much as we can, forgive all that can be forgiven, and make our life it's best without blaming our failures anywhere except where they belong, with us. Guilt, blame, shame, doubt, they have no place in our recovery. Yesterday cannot help us, except to be a warning. We really only have today, and the hope of tomorrow, and only ourselves to credit or blame.

[Princess Fiona]

alchoholic

:wave:Hi all,
I grew up in a huge drinking family, my father is an alcoholic, so we kids grew up with all forms of abuse. This set the pattern for me... I got in to one abusive relationship after another, married an alcoholic, divorced him after 5 yrs as I didn't want my daughter growing up with what I did, the verbal abuse, emotional abuse and the physical abuse.
I then got involved with another alcoholic for 5 yrs, this time I drank too, I never felt I deserved anything good or was good enough, so by this time, abuse was all I knew.
In 2001, I married my husband, a non drinker, I did enough for both of us, I ended up abusing him... we have had a really tough year, he has left me twice, a month after he left me the 1st time, I joined AA, it has been the best thing I could have done for me, , we are not living together, but, I am getting to know me all over again, I was a horrible drunk,
and now I can look at myself and love the woman I am becoming.
Taking ODAT, in all aspects of my life works for me, and with AA this site keeps me sober.
Congrats to all on their continuing sobriety.
Lol x x x

AF since 27th May 2008